Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Vote Early, Vote Often, Repeat

The Clerk faxed your LakeCountyEye a friendly reminder that the November election -- as well as November -- is a scant two weeks away. And there are now more ways to vote than ever before, so there is no excuse not to. Vote, that is.

Besides waiting until Tuesday November 2 to vote -- old school -- operatives now can vote by mail and they can vote early, or in-person absentee. There is no doubt a voting site near you at this very moment, polls are open at village halls, township offices, OTB parlors, not to mention video-poker machines throughout Lake County. So what are you waiting for?

Admittedly your LakeCountyEye admonishing the operatives to get out and vote is like Glenn Beck admonishing his viewers to not tax their brains. It goes without saying that operatives will be voting early. And often. You see that's what operatives do in Illinois, they vote early and -- ha ha -- they vote often.

In fact your LakeCountyEye had been informed by knowledgeable sources in Springfield that our legislators had grown so tired of hearing that "vote early vote often" joke that they decided to make early voting the law of the land. And hopefully then their smart aleck constituents would think up some better jokes.

Well your LakeCountyEye has never been known to shrink from a challenge. Here are 10 alternatives to the old & tired admonishment to "vote early and vote often".

10 Ways to Vote Early in Lake County
  1. Vote Surly and Vote Often
    Target Voters: The Angry Electorate

  2. Vote Eerily and Vote Often
    Valid Only October 31

  3. Vote Squirrely and Vote Often
    Cast your ballot for one of the nuts.

  4. Vote Yearly and Vote Often
    Target: Low Information Voters

  5. Vote Queerily and Vote Often
    Cast a ballot for you know who.

  6. Vote Austerely and Vote Often
    Illinois is Now 100% Poll-Tax Free!

  7. Vote Cavalierly and Vote Often
    Target Voters: Chevy Owners

  8. Vote Urlacher and Vote Often
    Bears Repeating.

  9. Vote ORLY and Vote Often

  10. Vote Naked and Vote Often

    Vote Naked Illinois

Be sure to punch in with your LakeCountyEye, now appearing at an early polling location near you. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. Sat-Sun 10am-2pm.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You mean we now can legally vote for U.S. Senate . . . twice! Who would have thought that possible!

Thank you Democrats for opposing a special election because it was too costly to give citizens in Illinois the right to express their voice on the subject. Thanks to you we have been represented by Roland Burris for nearly 2 years.

And thanks to a Federal Court, we are now having a special election during election "day" (including early voting) where we can FINALLY express our voice.

Thank you Democrats for denying us the right to elect Obama's successor and foisting Roland Burris on us!

Louis G. Atsaves