Chinese Take Out

Q:	How many Chinese hackers does it take to hijack the Village of Lakemoor website?
A:	Ha ha ha, of course they do.

If you answered correctly then the joke is on you. The Daily Herald said that when Chinese hackers took down Lakemoor's website in September ...

The village summoned its technology consultant to investigate. For a time, the website remained visible. Then it went black. A check of the activity log showed attempted and actual log ins from an address in China
Lakemoor uses hack as opportunity to improve website

Whenever fact is stranger than fiction, your LakeCountyEye summons Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of sino.cyber.spycraft at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The tiny Village of Lakemoor has a bigger case of Chinese crackers on its hands than a fortune cookie factory."

Your LakeCountyEye was at a loss to why the Chinese would hack the Lakemoor website.

"They probably were not applying online for a building permit on a laundromat." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Some think it was a training exercise. When young Chinese boys and girls go to hacker school, they start out practicing on easy targets."

Like Hogwarts?

"No, like the Village of Lakemoor." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye whipped out the BlackBerry, and produced a news clipping:

More than 50,000 vehicles pass through the intersection of routes 12 and 120 in Lakemoor every day. Village officials need 50 of those drivers to get caught by red-light cameras and pay $100 fines to hit this year's $1.8 million revenue target.
Tiny Lakemoor gets big bucks from red-light cameras

"Ya, who hasn't hacked into a municipal website to expunge a red-light camera violation?" asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But I daresay the Chinese have bigger fish in their gunsites. A fish to the tune of $1.8 million."

The Chinese hackers stole $1.8 million?

"I said big fish. $1.8 million is small potatoes." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.  "If that was me, I would hack into the camera system and get a livestream of the video feed."

The Chinese are spying on Lake County?

"Don't be silly." smiled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They could use that video to mail out their own traffic tickets."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Lakemoor operatives to watch their speed when they are on Route 12. And if they do get a ticket in the mail, be sure to doublecheck that the return address is in English."

There's Snow Business

Lake County is cleaning up from Snow-liath 2015, the world's tallest wooden snowstorm. The tiny Village of Lakemoor cleaned up in particular. That's because, as the Daily Herald observed ...

More than 50,000 vehicles pass through the intersection of routes 12 and 120 in Lakemoor every day. Village officials need 50 of those drivers to get caught by red-light cameras and pay $100 fines to hit this year's $1.8 million revenue target. That's 36 percent of Lakemoor's total expected income for this year.
Tiny Lakemoor gets big bucks from red-light cameras

Your LakeCountyEye learned that at least as many drivers slid through the intersection at Rte 12 and Rte 120 during the blizzard last weekend. "We may as well put a freeze on our revenue generating efforts," said one official. "Everything from from now through the end of the year is icing on the cake."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

A Winter Blast

Did you hear the one about the NRA member who skidded into a snowbank? He could not escape, even after he gunned the engine. Haha, while you wait for roadside assistance to arrive, your LakeCountyEye has compiled a pop-quiz:

Where is the "Murder Capital" of Illinois? (A) Cook County (B) McHenry County

Those who guessed (A) may want to reread this CBSChicago story:

For Cook County, the rate of gun deaths between 2004 and 2010 was 9.31 with a population of 5,188,229 people. The rate of McHenry County, which is just to the northwest of Cook County and has a population of 301,728 people, was slightly higher: 9.41
Cook County’s Rate Of Gun Deaths Low Compared To Some Neighbors, Southern States

As a consequence of these grim statistics, refugees are fleeing gun violence in McHenry County. Most seek safety and a better life in Cook County. Combine that with porous borders around Lake County, and it is not hard to see that a humanitarian disaster is immanent.

Your LakeCountyEye has learned that the Mayor of Cook County promised to block McHenry refugees from entering his County. Not to be outdone, Governor Bruce Rauner announced that Illinois would temporarily stop accepting McHenry County refugees, in the aftermath of these gun violence statistics.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Plane Facts

The International House of Pancakes may have to name a pancake in honor of Peter Roskam if he books any more international flights.

Beneath the pancake lies another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Haha, Roskam has logged more overseas air miles than any other Illinois Rep in Washington:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled

While International may not be Peter Roskam's middle name, it is the address of the Lake County Congressman's constituent services office:

Peter Roskam Federal Government Office
2700 International Drive
Suite 304
West Chicago, IL 60185
District Offices

The address, as some Operatives may know, is in the DuPage County Airport. A sweet deal by any standard, Roskam maintains a constituent services office inside an airport terminal. Conventional wisdom notes that this makes the office both hard to find, and within a perimeter of airport security. Both of which will tend to discourage constituents from requesting services from their Congressman. Such as funding for Planned Parenthood and things of that nature.

Your LakeCountyEye has learned, however, that nothing is further from the truth. One source explained that the Congressman's job simply requires him to spend a lot of time in airports. Willie Sutton said he robbed banks because that's where the money is. Your LakeCountyEye's source says that Peter Roskam's office is in the DuPage Airport because "that's where the airplanes are."

Mr Roskam Goes to TBD

Unless Peter Roskam legally changed his name to Paul Ryan, he is not Speaker of the House yet. Haha, Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, will have to wait in line to be third-in-line for the presidency -- the new Speaker of the House is Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan.

Roskam nevertheless had nice things to say about Ryan ...

"He invited House Republicans to go in a different direction," Roskam said of Ryan.
Roskam says new Speaker Ryan will plot a 'different direction'

Roskam did not say which specific different direction House Republicans would be going.

However, as reported in this blog ...

Travelin' Man

Roskam has already logged overseas Congressional trips in the direction of, and to, Indonesia, Kosovo, Nepal, Timor-Leste, Poland, Israel, Poland, Israel, Ukraine, Georgia, Ireland, Germany, Switzerland, Turkey, Ukraine, Taiwan:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled

Based on his past itinerary, Roskam may be hardpressed to find a different direction to go. Your LakeCountyEye observes, however, that Peter Roskam has not traveled to outer space yet.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Travelin' Man

If bad news travels fast, then Peter Roskam must be bad news. Haha, Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has been all over the map lately. At least according to the Chicago Tribune, who compiled an itinerary of Roskam's recent overseas trips:

Where Illinois lawmakers traveled

Roskam logged the most frequent flyer miles of any Illinois Congressperson:

Rep. Peter Roskam, a Republican from Wheaton, ranked second in the delegation with eight foreign trips. He and Adam Kinzinger each visited 13 countries, some twice. Roskam went farther afield — a look at air miles shows him with the most of any Illinois delegation member.
Illinois' lawmakers in Congress have taken 70 foreign trips to 44 countries

What's next for Illinois's peripatetic Peter? A spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "The Congressman is planning a fact-finding mission to Benghazi. He expects to be there some time before the 2016 election."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

This Salutation Will Not Be Publicized

Along with its dead-tree edition, the Daily Herald also has a logrolling edition. Mention the Daily Herald in your blog and the Daily Herald may return the favor:

What's a sign you're from the suburbs? "Having appeared in the Daily Herald at least once in your lifetime." So says digital site Thrillist, which includes placement in our pages among other qualifiers, such as having gone to Six Flags Great America with your high school physics class and knowing your exact proximity to the nearest Portillo's.
You know you're from the 'burbs when...

Can free media be that easy -- who knew?

Will the Daily Herald reward your shoutout with a h/t and link to your website? In the interest of science, your LakeCountyEye has been commissioned to test the hypothesis with a clinical trial. The design is as elegant as it is simple: (a) Compile some stupid Internet Top 10 List. (b) Salt it with a reference to the Daily Herald. (c) See what happens ...

Ten Signs You're from Lake County

The Neighbor Dog Ate Your Daily Herald Once in His Lifetime Wrongfully Convicted You Know the Fastest Shortcuts Under the Route 53 Extension Registered to Vote at the Lake County Election Commission Favorite Ben & Jerry Flavor: Scoop o'the Loop You Don't Count Sheep at Night -- You Count Canadian National Oil-Cars Been Stuck on a Great America Ride ... 8 Hours ... and Counting Dated Princess Nudelman "I served with G.I. Joe. I knew G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe was a friend of mine. Sir, you're no G.I. Joe." Lake County Eye? Never Heard of It

Look for your LakeCountyEye in a Daily Herald near you.

Would You Buy a Rolex from this Man?

Being a millionaire blogger has its advantages. The mailman still delivers junk mail, but it is hugely classy junk mail.

M.J. Miller & Co. -- a Barrington jeweler -- sent their catalog this week:

M.J. Miller & Co.
Gems & Precious Jewels

Your LakeCountyEye always hastens immediately to the men's watches (page 45):

Those are some super-luxury-looking timepieces. But who is that super-luxury-looking model? He looks familiar:

Your LakeCountyEye knows why he is smiling -- it looks like the model with the world-class manicure is sporting a $7000 Seiko:

Do models get to keep the merchandise they pose with? This is probably a question only a millionaire blogger would ask.

The Fake News

A spectre is haunting Lake County. And it is not the spectre of stale Halloween candy. No, this is the spectre of the faith that honest people place in their law enforcement officials -- and how some individuals would abuse this faith for their own personal gain. This of course refers to those telephone scammers who have been posing as Lake County Sheriff deputies:

Police are warning Lake County residents about a telephone scam in which callers say they're from the Lake County sheriff's office. The calls appear on the caller ID as a telephone number used by the sheriff's office, making appear to be a valid, the sheriff's office said in a news release. The caller then tells potential victims that a complaint has been filed against them and gives them the phone number of an "investigating officer" to call.
Calls from 'sheriff's office' are a scam, Lake County authorities warn

One law enforcement official called your LakeCountyEye to pass along a warning: bad guys will carefully stage their exploits. And while they won't deceive trained law enforcement officials, unsuspecting individuals are often easily fooled. "It is not just victims who end up losing their money. A Major Crimes Task Force investigation can cost the taxpayers $300,000 or more from the git-go."

Everyone is asked to be vigilant and to exercise some common sense precautions: "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Commendation Will Not Be Scrutinized

All of Lake County's newspapers are on the Internet -- and some of these are laughably epicfail websites. The Daily Herald however is not one. The Daily Herald says ...

The Daily Herald received five first-place awards Thursday in the annual Northern Illinois Newspaper Association contest, including best website, best news series and recognition for its editorial writing, sports column writing and education reporting.
Daily Herald named best website, wins other awards

But don't listen to your LakeCountyEye. Read all about it instead on the Daily Herald website:

Daily Herald named best website, wins other awards

Note to Ops: Never bury your lede.

Investing in Our Future: The Case for Early Childhood Education

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

Children are born with the same potential to become successful learners. Beginning at one year of age, however, significant deficits begin to show in children from high-risk environments. Research shows there is no single investment that can break the cycle of poverty more effectively than a high-quality early childhood education. Children who have access to high-quality early childhood education are academically and socially more successful in school. Nancy Ronquillo, President and CEO of Children's Home and Aid Society, David Lloyd, Director of Fiscal Policy, at Voices for Illinois Children, and a parent of a child receiving services at the Jerri Hoffman Child and Family Center in Carpentersville, Illinois will lead the discussion. The panel will be introduced by former State Representative Kathleen Ryg.

• Sunday
  November 8, 2015
  2:00 pm
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  773- 281-0378
• $15
• No Charge for Students

The Intersection Will Not Be Signalized

Like an unstoppable force against an immovable object, Lake County drivers encounter a fundamental paradox every time they get in their cars. There are not enough roads to get to where they want to go. And yet, in Lake County, there is nowhere to go.

Haha.

The News-Sun this week published a story about an upcoming LCDOT public meeting. The story betrayed some deadpan Lake County highway humor:

Scheduled for Nov. 4 from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Hawthorn Woods Aquatic Center, 94 Midlothian Road, the informal meeting will give all interested parties an "opportunity to provide comments on the preferred alternative, which includes a signalized intersection, a five-lane roadway section, and bicycle and pedestrian facilities," according to an invite from Lake County DOT.

Technically, Gilmer and Midlothian is already signalized and has left- and even right-turn lanes
Where Lake County's rural heritage collides with progress

Note to Ops: A joke is only a joke. But a good headline is clickbait.

Bad Paper

There is not a shred of evidence to support the rumor that Peter Roskam will portray Jack the Ripper this Halloween ...

But your LakeCountyEye has learned that Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- will host a document shredding openhouse this weekend. Operatives who are drowning in paper are invited to dispose of those old documents -- including but not limited to ...

• Bank Withdrawal Slips (Under $10,000)
• Unreleased Tax Returns
• Classified State Department Communiques
• Federal Subpoenas
• The Affordable Health Care Act
• "Surplus" Yardsigns from in Back of the Van
• Rogaine Prescriptions
• Scott Walker for President Petitions
• Union Contracts
• Illinois No-Firearms Signs

Congressman Roskam will be on-hand to demonstrate the "you're-doing-it-wrong" approach to document shredding ...

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!’

... as well as the appropriate way to dispose of that potentially embarrassing paper-trail:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

Note to Ops: Time is limited. Professional cut-ups have been asked not to attend.

You Gotta Know When to Fold'em

Operatives may need pencil and paper to solve this story problem: Take one career Washington politician. Combine the politician with one high-profile Congressional investigation into misdeeds committed in the far-east.  What do you get? Ops who answered the Benghazi Investigation are wrong. The correct answer is the House Ethics Committee probe of Peter Roskam's 2011 trip to Taiwan.

Haha, readers of this blog may recall that Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam got into some hot water a few years ago:

The House Ethics Committee announced Friday it was probing Rep. Peter Roskam (R-Ill.) without detailing what was at issue. Roskam's office disclosed that at issue was a trip he took with his wife to Taiwan in October, 2011 -– at a time his daughter was living in Taiwan. At issue is whether the $25,652 costs for the trip were paid for by the Chinese Culture University -– a permitted funder -— or as the independent Office of Congressional Ethics asserts, the Roskam visit was "organized and conducted by the government of Taiwan, with little to no involvement by the University," which would make it an impermissible funding source.
House ethics panel probing Rep. Peter Roskam over Taiwan trip

Roskam would have gotten off with a slap-on-the-wrist. But since the government of Taiwan did not return calls from the Ethics Committee, he got off scott-free instead.

As if to show that he hadn't only benefited from an expenses-paid vacation on Taiwan's dime, Roskam has been showcasing a recently-acquired mastery of origami -- the oriental art of paper folding.

Here, Roskam constructs a not-to-scale fetal tissue donation for a gathering of values-voters:

GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: ‘This Is Junk!’

And meeting with faith-based constituents, Roskam demonstrates undivided support for Israel -- with a depiction, in origami, of Moses parting the Red Sea:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

What's next for Peter Roskam, the Edward Scissorhands of Capitol Hill? NRA members will learn how to fold an Illinois No-Firearms sign into a 100% civilian-legal semi-automatic weapon.

Paper Tiger

Not to be confused with the Ebola virus, Lake County has Benghazi fever. Peter Roskam got some media attention for himself during the Benghazi hearing this week in Washington. Roskam -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman -- woke everyone up during the 11 hour marathon slog when he dramatically ripped up a piece of paper:

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

Roskam also had it in mind to teach Hillary Clinton some manners:

In a testy exchange at the start of Thursday's hearing, Republican Rep. Peter Roskam of Illinois appeared concerned that he did not have Clinton's full attention. During a lengthy question about a 2011 memo that described her as "the public face of the U.S. effort in Libya," the former secretary of state began flipping through her notes, prompting an irritated reaction from Roskam. "I can pause while you're reading your notes from your staff," he said in a somewhat patronizing suggestion that Clinton was relying heavily on rehearsed talking points.
Did that just happen? Five odd moments from the Benghazi hearing

This was not a first-time performance for Peter Roskam. In 2013 he taught acting IRS chief Daniel Werfel some manners:

During his time questioning Werfel, Rep. Peter Roskam (R-IL) began berating Werfel over the heavily redacted documents members of Congress received, at one point dramatically crumpling the paper in his hand and exclaiming, "this is junk!" GOP Rep. Explodes At IRS Chief, Dramatically Crumples Redacted Report: 'This Is Junk!'

Word on the street is that Roskam is rehearsing a new setpiece, where he dramatically pushes the US Affordable Health Care Act through a wood chipper.

Women's Libya?

The bar is admittedly low, but Lake County's ladies-man in Washington would have to be Peter Roskam. The ladies love to cast their votes for Congressman Roskam. They vote for him despite the fact that Roskam would levy restrictions on a women's fundamental reproductive rights:

Roskam Praises Today's Court Ruling Against Obamacare Contraception Mandate

... and despite the fact that Roskam supports legislation that would deny many women access to basic health care services:

Roskam Helps Introduce Bill to Fully Defund Planned Parenthood

One source told your LakeCountyEye that Roskam's secret is that he knows what the ladies really like: "Congressman Roskam understands that women want to be told who is boss. Hillary Clinton got the Peter Roskam treatment this week, and she loved every minute of it!"

ROSKAM: Well, you just recited the Clinton doctrine to us, and let me tell you what I think the Clinton doctrine is. I think it's where an opportunity is seized to turn progress in Libya into a political win for Hillary Rodham Clinton, and at the precise moment when things look good, take a victory lap, like on all the Sunday shows three times that year before Gadhafi was killed, and then turn your attention to other things. I yield back.

CLINTON: Well, Congressman, that is only a political statement which you well understand, and I don't understand why that has anything to do with what we are supposed to be talking about today.
Clinton testifies before House committee on Benghazi

The same source told your LakeCountyEye that the ladies have an eye for upper body strength in their representatives. "Just look at how Roskam ripped apart that piece of paper for Hillary. Too bad he didn't have one of his phone books handy!"

A Republican lawmaker dramatically ripped up some paper during Hillary Clinton's Benghazi hearing

The source also said that every woman is encouraged to vote for Peter Roskam, however "they must be at least 18 to participate."

Surface Tension

Surprising all the pundits, Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran did not announce that he will run for Clerk of the Circuit Court in 2016. Instead, the Daily Herald noted that ...

Lake County Circuit Court Clerk Keith Brin on Tuesday announced plans to seek re-election in 2016. Brin, a Republican from Highland Park, was elected to the post in 2012. A Democratic candidate hasn't yet surfaced.
Brin to run agin for court clerk

One observer told your LakeCountyEye, "There is still six feet of water in the Circuit Court basement. It's anybody's guess what is swimming around down there, below the surface."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Unarmed Robbery

As of June of this year, 3142 active concealed carry licenses were granted to McHenry County firearm owners:

HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR COUNTY HAVE CONCEALED CARRY LICENSES?

Another indication that McHenry County has been targeted by fastbuck artists comes from the McHenryCountyBlog:

On 10-07-15 at 1501 hrs, a Harvard Resident (f-37 yoa) reported they received a message about winning a large amount of money. The resident sent $250 via a wire transfer to Nigeria as well as personal identifiers to claim the winnings. The resident later learned it was a scam.
Nigerian Internet Scam

Willie Sutton once said he robbed banks because that's where the money is. But one criminal observer recently told your LakeCountyEye they target McHenry County because "that's where people from McHenry County live".

Operatives are asked to observe sensible precautions when visiting McHenry County.

Reductio ad Referendum

There is a old saying in Lake County: "If the Route 53 Extension did not exist, it would be necessary to invent one."

Haha, the News-Sun noted that ...

Opponents of the proposed Route 53 extension lined up before the Lake County Board on Tuesday to criticize what they described as a lack of transparency and public input on the issue, with one speaker calling on the county to conduct an advisory referendum in 2016 to get an updated take on support for the long-debated concept.
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board

The Lake County Board was urged to slate a new Route 53 Referendum. Only this time they needed to spell out how much it will cost, both in dollars and against the environment. Also, to ask the voters during a high-turnout, Presidential election -- and not during an April, off-year election.

Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor was overheard to say ...

"I don't want to get into a debate about Route 53."
Route 53 opponents take fight to Lake County Board

Note to Ops: Nothing to see here. Move along please.

Speaker Softly and Carry a Big Stick

Is Peter Roskam the next Denny Hastert? The National Review thinks so. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, does not hide the fact that his radar is trained on the leadership of the US House of Representatives. And now that the Speaker of the House's seat is up for grabs, Roskam may have the opening he wants. The National Review said ...

A senior aide to another House Republican who has worked with Roskam thinks he might replicate the ascent of former House speaker Dennis Hastert, known as "the accidental speaker" because of how he took advantage of an unexpected vacancy in 1998. "Hastert's path to leadership must be on his mind," the aide says.
Peter Roskam: The Next-Next Speaker?

The Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist has drawn a toon symbolizing the catch-ass-catch-can freeforall transpiring under the Capitol dome in Washington:

The battle for the Speaker's gavel

One guy in the cartoon is the spittin' image of Peter Roskam:

You don't think this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™? Then bite me!

The identity of the other fellow, in the polkadot shorts, and getting his rear-end bit, is unknown. One thing is certain, someone is openly bending the Hastert Rule. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.