The Real China Challenge – Can We Compete and How?

John Rogers will discuss The Real China Challenge - Can We Compete and How? at a forum hosted by the Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

International businessman, attorney, strategist, and educator John Rogers has spent the past 25 years commuting between Chicago and Asia. Beginning in 2014, Rogers will live in China where he will teach business and law at Beijing Foreign Studies University (Beiwai) and serve as Guest Fellow at the Shanghai Academy of Social Science (Institute of Law). He has held faculty appointments at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management and Chicago Kent College of Law. He has also served as Adjunct Professor at Aalto University, Helsinki; and as Guest Professor at Beijing Language and Culture University. China is actively increasing its level of research and development spending, and is dedicated to next generation technologies that may or may not be compatible with Western standards. Can the U.S. compete? If so, how?

• Sunday
  February 2, 2014
  2 PM
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• Coffee and conversation following
• Cost $15

Nom de Plum

An actual, unretouched screencap from the Daily Herald website ...

Stolman, Atleson vie for GOP treasurer nom in Lake County

Stolman in this case appears to be David Stolman, a Commissioner and former Chair of the Lake County Board. Atleson, on the other hand, is more than likely Jeri Atleson, treasurer of the Lake County Republican Party central committee. Both are GOP candidates for Lake County treasurer.

Stolman is a fixture among the Lake County Republican establishment. While Atleson has a leadership post in the Lake County Republican Party. It is unclear which of the two has locked up the Lolcat vote:

Nationalize Me!

They are just going to have to learn to live with it over there -- O'Hare Illinois is no longer the only city in the Land of Lincoln that has a National Airport. As of this week, Waukegan Regional Airport has been renamed the Waukegan National Airport. The News-Sun reports the name change was mandated by the Federal Government ...

the new moniker wasn't something sought out by the Waukegan Port District — FAA officials required it.
FAA requires name change for Waukegan airport

While there is no truth to the rumor that naming rights have already been secured by Greyhound ...

The Waukegan National Airport Greyhound Terminal
... and Leave the Driving to Us!

privately, Lake County officials are fuming over the change mandated by the Federal government. "It was only a matter of time before government started nationalizing the airports." one unnameable official told your LakeCountyEye. "What will be next -- the interstates?"

What next indeed? Ten of them by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning:

Ten Lake County Destinations that may be Nationalized

Lake County Fielders Nationals National Girls Gone Wild on Blarney Island Route 53 National Extension Lake County National AR 15 Association Illinois Beach State Park National Park Fort Sheridan National Golf Course Lake County National DNA Bank Six Flags Great National America Lake County National Election Commission Great Lakes Naval Station

Look for your LakeCountyEye, on a national level.

Do Ambulance Chasers Ever Get Stuck in Traffic?

Lake County, no slouch when it comes to petty & vindictive political retributions, takes a backseat to New Jersey. According to the Chicago Tribune ...

As if he did not have enough headaches, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is facing a potential class-action lawsuit arising from the monster traffic jams his aides are accused of creating, although experts question the strength of the case. A personal injury lawyer from Fort Lee, New Jersey, filed the case in federal court on behalf of six local residents who missed work or suffered other alleged damages due to the traffic jam last September.
Another headache for New Jersey's Christie: Class-action lawsuit

To get the lowdown on the monster personal injury suit, your LakeCountyEye had a conversation with Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Frivolous Litigation at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, the fat is in the fire, metaphorically speaking." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi told your LakeCountyEye. "New Jersey has demonstrated that official malfeasance with respect to the proper oversight of the public thoroughfares is actionable in a court of law. This is huge!"

Actionable, wondered your LakeCountyEye. How so?

"Here's an example even your operatives can understand." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "How long have you been waiting for the Route 53 Extension to be built -- fifty years, at least? Well, during those fifty years how many times were you late to work or school or somehow delayed because that highway never got beyond the planning stage? A million times, right?"

At least, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"And whose fault is that?" asked Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The government of Lake County Illinois, right?"

At the very least, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"OK, if I can file a personal injury suit against the Governor of New Jersey for shutting down some little bridge and making me late," continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "then what stops me from filing a personal injury suit against the government of Lake County for neglecting to build their Route 53 Extension, and making me late?"

Your LakeCountyEye laughed involuntarily -- who would contemplate something like that?

"My law firm." replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye pantomimed a double-take -- you're an associate at a law firm?

"No, not an associate." sniffed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Partner. A founding partner of Dewey, Cheatem & Bhatschidtkhrazzi. Look us up in Sullivan's. We're building a class-action lawsuit against the government of Lake County to recover damages and lost wages that are a direct result of being stuck in traffic because of their ongoing failure to construct a Route 53 Extension."

Your LakeCountyEye heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting observations?

"I thought you'd never ask." he said. "This is our walkcard. Will you post a copy on your little blog?"

Route 53 Extension Class Action Lawsuit

ATTENTION LAKE COUNTY MOTORISTS

IF YOU OPERATED A MOTOR VEHICLE ON A LAKE COUNTY ROAD
ANY TIME DURING THE PAST 50 YEARS
CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY!

JOIN A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT
TO RECOVER TIME AND EXPENSES LOST
WHILE DELAYED IN LAKE COUNTY TRAFFIC
This is an announcement for Lake County motorists who wish to join a class action lawsuit to recover their unpaid expenses. If you were ever delayed in Lake County traffic because the Government of Lake County neglected to construct a Route 53 Extension in a timely manner, then you are entitled to compensation.

You qualify to be a member of this class action suit if, within the past 50 years, you were delayed in Lake County traffic when driving to:

• Your Work
• Your School
• Your Video Poker Machine
• Your Medical Marijuana Dispensary
• Your Shootin' Range
• Get registered to vote with the Lake County Election Commission

If you meet any of the above criteria, or believe you qualify for any other reason, do not hesitate to contact:

pot'o'gold@TheEndOfTheRoute53Extension.com

Do not delay. You may be eligible for a handsome settlement!

We guarantee to keep your identity and the information you share with us strictly confidential until the class action lawsuit is filed.

70 is the New 55

Lake County, no stranger to sitting at redlights, will just have to wait some more. Illinois's long anticipated upgrade from 55 to 70 MPH highways hit a speed bump. Recent bad weather has delayed the posting of new SPEED LIMIT signs. According to the Northwest Herald ...

State officials have asked drivers not to start driving 70 mph until the new signs are installed.
70 mph sign installation delayed because of weather

This is unwelcome news to both Lake County's drivers as well as its 2nd Amendment advocates. It is currently not known exactly when it will be legal to drive 70 MPH in Lake County. Or to take advantage of those brand new 70 MPH SPEED LIMIT signs for midnight moving-target practice.

Of course, when it comes to traffic law in Lake County, there is legal and then there is legal.  The Chicago Tribune noted that 70 MPH has not only been legal for years ...

On Chicagoland expressways, the speed limit is 80

... but 70 is perhaps rightly reserved for the break-down lane.

Your LakeCountyEye has been told that the new signs are scheduled to be first posted up and down the Route 53 Extension. Gentlemen, gun your engines!

Extension Gate!

Rod Blagojevich may have to relinquish the title of America's Most Asinine Ex-Governor -- that's because Chris Christie's political career is collapsing faster than the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. Someone in the New Jersey Governor's office who thought it a was good way to punk their enemies, gave an order last September to shut down the George Washington Bridge. While brutally epic in scope, the political prank dubbed Bridge-Gate has now backfired, undermining Governor Chris Christie's presidential aspirations. According to the Chicago Tribune ...

More than 1,000 pages of documents subpoenaed by New Jersey lawmakers investigating the massive, four-day traffic jam in Fort Lee were made public after days of damaging disclosures about the role Christie's staff played in the September shutdown, which appeared to be political payback.
Documents cast new light on Christie bridge scandal

New documents just released indicate that Christie has political enemies as far away as Lake County. Prior to his landslide re-election, New Jersey Governor Christie had solicited endorsements from some high-ranking Lake County elected officials. But when the endorsements did not materialize, your LakeCountyEye has learned, the following e-mail was issued from Christie's office:

The e-mail clearly says ...

Time for some traffic problems in LAKE COUNTY ILLINOIS

One anonymous Lake County elected official spoke to your LakeCountyEye under the condition of anonymity: "You may not have noticed, but soon after that e-mail was sent, the Route 53/120 Blue Ribbon Advisory Council issued a report saying that the Route 53 Extension was going to cost the taxpayer $3 Billion. That was no coincidence. There had been a secret deal in the works to pay for the Route 53 Extension -- the Illinois Toll Authority was going to dip into petty cash to become a silent partner in a new Donald Trump casino in Atlantic City. But when Christie didn't get the endorsements he wanted, the deal all of a sudden went south."

"Politics ain't beanbag in New Jersey." said this anonymous official. "The Illinois Toll Authority is now going to have to get all that money from out of the wazoo of the Lake County taxpayer. Don't expect to see the Route 53 Extension built in my or your lifetime. And I put the blame 100% on Chris Christie."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you posted as further developments warrant.

Lake County Under the Weather

Lake County thermometers may all read minus 30 below (and in the shade) but your LakeCountyEye has nothing to complain about. The LakeCountyEye franklin stove is stoked and aglow with this month's medical marijuana prescription.

Haha, as of January 1, medical marijuana became street-legal in Illinois. But operatives are advised not to line up outside their 24-hour drive-thru pharmacy just yet. The State still has to approve who gets to grow and sell the stuff. Furthermore, the Daily Herald says ...

Even if the state starts regulating growers and sellers at the end of the year, marijuana might not be available immediately. Medical marijuana sold in Illinois must be grown in Illinois, and setting up infrastructure could take time.
Medical pot legal, but state needs time to write rules

Bogus!

Happily, however, Lake County has already named a task force to draw up rules needed to regulate the cultivation and distribution of marijuana within the County. Your LakeCountyEye hasn't the time to obtain the specifics of those rules and regs, but does know Lake County will be ready to rock'n'roll when marijuana does become available. According to the Daily Herald ...

Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor praised the task force's work.
Lake County task force creates model rules for pot businesses

Excellent!

It goes without saying that medical marijuana is for medicinal use only. This means operatives have only about 12 months to contract a State approved medical condition before they can ask their MDs for their prescription cannabis. Your LakeCountyEye does have the time to obtain the names of illnesses that qualify. There are at least ten of them -- the good news is, you only need to come down with one:

Ten Medical Conditions Treatable with Medical Marijuana in Lake County

The Waukegan Pneumonia And the Blarney Island Flu Radiation Sickness Available to CLC Students Only An Itchy Trigger Finger The Vapors Available to Countryside Landfill Patrons Only Gambling Addiction? Call 1-800-DOOBIE Route 53 Extension Dysfunction The Backyard Chicken Pox Faced Reefer Madness

Look for your LakeCountyEye, not just some potted plant.

Story Power: Breaking through Compassion Fatigue

The Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy will feature Sue O'Halloran, nationally and internationally acclaimed writer, story teller, television personality and keynote speaker at a program on Story Power: Breaking Through Compassion Fatigue:

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy

The Chicago Reader says Susan O'Halloran "has mastered the Irish art of telling stories that are funny and heart-wrenching at the same time." Seen on PBS, Nightline and The New York Times, the National Storytelling Festival/International Storytelling Residencies, and at the National Storytelling Network as keynote speaker, Susan produces storytelling events including Stories Connect Us All, a 2013 online festival with participants in 45 countries. Susan's work demonstrates that stories shed light on the light and dark corners of the soul through the perfectly imperfect, common experience of being human.

• Sunday
  January 12, 2014
  2 PM
• The Stevenson Center on Democracy
  25200 N St Mary's Rd
  Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  847-816-7433
• Coffee and conversation following
• Cost $15

Recharting the Remap Referendum

As sure as 2014 comes after 2013, every person in Lake County will be writing down their New Year's resolutions. And if every person in Lake County is anything like your LakeCountyEye, they are resolving to enact an Illinois Constitutional Amendment to change how legislative maps get re-drawn every 10 years.

According to a Daily Herald editorial that your LakeCountyEye just read ...

The voters in the area around Buffalo Grove always seemed to think Sidney Mathias was a likable guy and a responsive legislator. So every two years, they elected him by fairly comfortable margins to the Illinois House. Mathias had a built-in advantage in those races. He once had been village president of Buffalo Grove, and most of the community provided the core of the old square-shaped 53rd House District he represented. Then last year, Mathias got trounced.
A Remap Referendum: It's time to tell party bosses, 'Enough'

Sad but true: former State Representative Sid Mathias was an election-day casualty of the redistricting process. After his hand-drawn legislative district was re-drawn again in 2010, Mathias was handed his lunch at the voting booths in 2012.  And if someone who has a train station named after him ...

cannot win a election on home turf, then either they are just totally sleepwalkin' it or the system is seriously broken.

Which is why your LakeCountyEye is fightin' mad, just like the Daily Herald. Mad enough, in fact, that your LakeCountyEye sat down and wrote an opinion-laden editorial. Just like the Daily Herald:

The voters in the area around Wauconda & Island Lake seemed to think Joe Walsh was a charismatic guy and a promising legislator. So for two years, they elected him -- against nearly impossible odds -- to the US House of Representatives.

Walsh had a built-in advantage in that race. He loudly professed the Tea-Party gospel to the low-information voters of Lake and McHenry Counties, and most of that community provided the core of the old tea-cozy-shaped 8th Congressional District he would represent.

Then last year, Walsh got trounced.

Had there been a scandal? Had the voters tired of him? Had he suddenly become unlikable and unresponsive?

None of the above.

When Congressional districts were redrawn after the 2010 census, the Eighth District was sent through a cartographic wood chipper and Walsh, a Republican, was given the bum's rush into a flounder-shaped new district that pitched down to Villa Park & Lombard and then yawed in a narrow band all the way up the tollway into Schaumburg and to the edge of Wheeling. That geography provided welcome turf for a popular Democrat, Tammy Duckworth of Hoffman Estates, and she used it to full advantage.

You might say ol' Joe never knew what hit him, except he knew it full well: the National Republican Congressional Committee.

Your LakeCountyEye's point here isn't to defend or lionize Walsh. For these purposes, he's simply an example, and there are many, many others.

But the reality is, Walsh wasn't turned out by the voters. The reality is, under the legislative map-drawing process that Illinois now follows, the voters have very little say. The machine politicians have taken it out of the voters' hands.

Republicans knew the day after the 2010 election put Democrats firmly in charge of the remapping process in Illinois that they were eventually going to be free of Walsh -- who was becoming a state-wide and national GOP embarrassment -- in the 2012 elections.

And Walsh knew the day the new map was released that his time as a legislator was over.

This wasn't a map that would make Walsh's re-election chances tough. It was a map that made them impossible.

Note to ops: If you think Joe Walsh belongs in the US House of Representatives and needs to be sent back ASAP, then say yes to map reform. Work to get a constitutional amendment on next November's ballot!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repeat

Your LakeCountyEye learned a valuable lesson this week: do not dispose of that old Christmas tree by burning it, especially out on the front lawn. Instead, the recycle bin is the best place to discard a plastic and aluminum tree.

Haha, it's that time of year to ring out the old, ring in the new. Fittingly, as of January 1, recycling will be mandated for everyone in Lake County. Like it or not, according to the Daily Herald ...

While curbside recycling already is offered by waste haulers to many homes in unincorporated areas, a new county law requires it be provided universally as part of the trash service. "Now, you're going to get recycling whether you like it or not and you're going to pay for it," said Walter Willis, executive director of the Solid Waste Agency for Lake County.
Recycling coming to unincorporated Lake County

Your LakeCountyEye likes it not, preferring the tried and true: simply chuck those unwanted recyclables over the nearest Route 53 Extension noise barrier wall. Out of sight, out of mind!

Admittedly your LakeCountyEye has, in the past, made a withdrawal from a recycle bin. Or two. Or three. (Your political opponent's curbside trash is archaeological gold to any oppo researcher. Totally.) But your LakeCountyEye is not yet in the habit of using a recycling container to make a deposit.

Is it possible to teach an old dog new tricks? Time will tell. Until then, the LakeCountyEye recycle bin is already nearly filled to capacity. There may be room to squeeze in there maybe 10 more recycle-worthy discardables.

Ten Things to Expect in a Lake County Recycle Bin

Walsh for Congress Yardsigns Medical Marijuana Seeds and Stems AR 15 Backyard Target Practice Shell Casings Copies of US Senate Nominating Petitions (IL, Republican) Dos Equis Empties Stay thirsty my friends! Leftover Daily Herald eEditions "No Electioneering Within 100 Feet" Property of the Lake County Election Commission Lead Slugs that Won't Go In the Video Gambling Machines Curran for Attorney General Yardsigns Depleted Tinfoil Hats

Look for your LakeCountyEye, dumpsterdiving near you.

Tautology

The News-Sun can boast some memorable headlines. Your LakeCountyEye recalls this classic from July of 2012 ...

Hard to swallow — heroin hidden in suspect's butt

A headline of that caliber deserves to be embroidered and hung on a wall. Happily, the good old reliable News-Sun has delivered again, this week, with ...

Rep. Schneider tauts new tech in town hall meeting

No doubt this headline counts as a mere also-ran. But that's because Tauts New Tech, technically speaking, is a spellaprop -- while Hard to Swallow answers the question of whether or not newspaper headline writers are permitted to ingest performance enhancing substances, during their lunch breaks.

A spellaprop occurs when a misspelled word defeats a spell-checker because it is the wrong word but spelled correctly. In "Rep. Schneider tauts new tech in town hall meeting", the word tauts functions as a verb but lexicographically is an adjective:

Taut \Taut\, adj. [Dan. t[ae]t; akin to E. tight. See Tight.]
1. Tight; stretched; not slack.
2. Snug; close; firm; secure.

It is hard to tell what the News-Sun headline writer had originally intended to say. Any of these qualify as a reasonable guess:

• Toots
• Texts
• Torts
• Tilts
• Twits
• Taints
• Toasts
• Taunts
• Trouts
• Twerks

A little bird, however, tells your LakeCountyEye that the intended word might have been TWEETS ...

I Taut I Taw A Puddy Tat

Look for your LakeCountyEye, tauting a performance enhancing substance near you.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Christmas only comes once a year in Lake County. And if you are anything like your LakeCountyEye then, as the Holiday nears, visions of sugar-plums dance in your heads.

In Highland Park those sugar-plums may be doing the sabre-rattling dance. According to one News-Sun story, published on Christmas Eve ...

A Highland Park pediatrician and the Illinois State Rifle Association are challenging the constitutionality of the city of Highland Park's assault weapons ban which, they say, prohibits firearms commonly used for self-defense within the home. Arie S. Friedman and the rifle association are asking for an injunction to prevent enforcement of a law that assault weapons be turned in or rendered inoperable.
Lawsuit challenges Highland Park's assault weapons ban

While the Holiday Season may seem to be an unlikely time for a 2nd Amendment court battle, your LakeCountyEye has been told that an injunction is immediately needed now. One source (who sounded like a character straight out of a low-budget movie, similar to A Christmas Story) told your LakeCountyEye: "How many little boys and girls will have their Christmas ruined when they find, under the tree, a big bar of soap, or something even less palatable ... and not the AR-15 assault rifle that was promised by Santa?"

Tough questions indeed. Look for your LakeCountyEye in Highland Park, this Christmas. There promises to be fresh venison on the grill.

Highway of Dreams

Lake County transportation planners all agree on two things. In the future automobiles will only be found in museums. And in the future they will still be trying to fund the Route 53 Extension.

Haha, the Lake County Division of Transportation's 2040 master plan does not anticipate phalanxes of motorists cruising up and down a Route 53 Extension. Instead, according to the News-Sun ...

"The big push here is to get people out of their cars," said Bruce Christensen, transportation coordinator. "There are people who would bike, if they had the facilities." But Christensen said the No. 1 item on their wish list is a gift from another agency: the state Route 53 extension from Lake Cook to Route 120 in the county's center, a project that the Illinois State Toll Highway Authority has discussed for decades. A new planning committee, of which Underwood is a member, is searching for ways to fund the idea that would include a bicycle path. But Christensen said he had seen plenty of such groups come and go. "I'm 67 years old, and they started reviewing the extension when I was in high school," he said.
Lake County 2040 transit plan steers away from cars

Translation: if you hold any hope of riding the Route 53 Extension in your lifetime, don't hold your breath.

The cost of the gold-plate super-highway is fast approaching $3 billion. The News-Sun says ...

Revised cost estimates for all 25 miles of a Route 53/120 extension in 2020 dollars now include a high-end figure of $2.87 billion, nearly $500 million more than a low-end estimate aired last year. New price ranges were revealed Tuesday, Dec. 3, at a finance committee meeting of the Route 53/120 Blue Ribbon Advisory Council (BRAC), the public/private panel that recommended construction of the roadway in June 2012.
New Illinois Route 53 roadwork estimates could reach $2.87 billion

One implausible contact from the Blue Ribbon Advisory Council told your LakeCountyEye that alternative funding sources are under consideration:

• Cultivate medical marijuana on the median strip that divides the high-speed lanes.
  
  
• Install video gambling machines in the toll booths.
  
  
• License conceal carry owners to use highway signs for target practice.
  
  
• Sell the Route 53 naming rights. Smirnoff, are you listening?

"Until we start getting some serious proposals," the contact told your LakeCountyEye "we might just as well hold a bake sale. By the way, our toll house cookies are second to none."

Please do not drop your cookies in a Route 53 toll basket.

More Laws

They say laws are like sausages -- the best ones are all pork. Haha, a whole rash of new Illinois laws will arrive with the new year. And operatives are advised to take note.

To help sort through all the clauses, your LakeCountyEye consulted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Legal Technicalities at the College of Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye met Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi at the Deer Park Mall, where he was dressed as Santa Claus.

"The new gay marriage law does not go into effect until 2014." he said. "Please get off my lap."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly apologized.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi explained why he was working as a mall Santa: "I need the money. Last month I threw a cigarette out of my car. That cost me $1,500!"

One new Illinois law will penalize anyone caught improperly disposing a cigarette. Your LakeCountyEye asked if he was fined for littering.

"Are you kidding?" replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Heck no. I dropped a medical marijuana cigarette."

Your LakeCountyEye quickly guessed that the lost blunt had an estimated street value of $1,500.

"Precisely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "And just for the record I am privy to that information second-hand."

Your LakeCountyEye observed that medical marijuana will be legal in 2014.

"Ya, but don't go and change the bong water just yet." sighed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Municipalities in Lake County are all passing ordinances to restrict the cultivation and distribution of cannabis."

That's harsh, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Harsh to the extreme." agreed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But some clever entrepreneurs have already found a loophole in the restrictions. I won't name any names, but if you're at a Christmas tree lot, don't let the guy sell you a Scotch Pine or Colorado Blue Spruce. Ask instead for an Acapulco Gold."

Awesome, thought your LakeCountyEye.

"Word on the street," whispered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "is that municipal tree-lighting ceremonies are breaking attendance records this year."

By now, the children in line to see Santa were getting impatient and cranky. Your LakeCountyEye asked if there were any other new laws that operatives should know about.

"Absolutely." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi.  "Your operatives will be able to carry a concealed weapon, in 2014. And just for the record, that was a gun in my pocket."

Jingle Drone?

December is the time of the year when everyone in Lake County stops to pause and reflect. They search the heavens for some sign of an old and familiar emissary of largess & free gifts making his daily rounds.

Santa and his sleighful of eight tiny reindeer? Haha, good guess but dead wrong. Your LakeCountyEye, of course, refers to President Barack Obama riding a predator drone.

Chicago Tribune

Quite frankly, your LakeCountyEye thought the joke was funnier the first time around -- in Dr Strangelove ...

Fear not, you did not witness a nuclear double pulse. This is another atom side splitting LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Your LakeCountyEye wonders if the Tribune Creepy Political Cartoonist™ has ever seen North by Northwest ...

Now, that is how the funny gets done, son -- just sayin!

Q the Eye/12.12.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How many petition signatures do I need to win the next election?

Fifty Percent Plus One

Dear Fiddy,

In Illinois? Zero. But you will need to knock all of your opponents off the ballot.

Haha, ever since an little known community organizer named Barack Obama got elected to the Senate by maneuvering Everett Dirksen off the ballot, the sure path to electoral supremacy has been the petition challenge.

With Illinois election law wound tighter than a $2 watch, anyone who knows which end of the yardsign goes in the ground can get their opponent thrown off the ballot. And your LakeCountyEye is not about to enumerate the various ways to engineer an election challenge (although there are in fact ten of them). Instead, the secret to a truly successful challenge is in delegating your petition challenge over to the appropriate frontman.

Nothing says triple-digit-percent election loss like a lone candidate who files a petition challenge on his own behalf:

HARDIMAN V QUINN, VALLAS

It goes without saying, someone without any friends willing to challenge the opponent's petition is probably not going to do any better on election night.

Take it from your LakeCountyEye, this is the sort of dirty job that needs to be done by a frontman. And by frontman your LakeCountyEye means party hack.

Latest Objections Filed
GENERAL PRIMARY - 3/18/2014

The minute your objection is filed, your opponent will be telling the media that you are undemocratic, play dirty politics, and want to deprive the voters of their rightful ballot choice. But with a frontman doing all your dirtywork, you look those media guys square in the eye and tell them you don't know a thing about the objection against your challenger -- but you wish him well. And by frontman your LakeCountyEye means hatchetman.

So if you're the next Barack Obama destined for glory in the US Senate, make it your #1 priority to find some Party goon willing to take the fall for knocking all your opponents off the ballot.

ATSAVES V ALVAREZ


ATSAVES V LEE

And if you don't know the name of a willing stooge, just call. Your LakeCountyEye knows someone who works cheap!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary

Lake/McHenry Organizing for Action will be hosting a Lake County event on gun violence.

What:
Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary

When:
Saturday, December 14, 2013 from 2:00 – 4:00 pm

Where:
Genesee and Clayton Streets, Waukegan

Details:
Lake/McHenry Organizing for Action (OFA) invites you join them in a public event:

Remembering Sandy Hook on the First Anniversary

Goals of the event are to remember the victims of Sandy Hook and local gun violence victims and to raise public awareness for Congressional action to pass common sense gun legislation and Universal Background Checks.

For more information, visit the website: Lake McHenry OFA

Charm Offensive

The National Republican Congressional Committee is already girding its loins for the 2014 election, and women voters are targeted. Your LakeCountyEye is serious. According to POLITICO ...

Speaker John Boehner is serious, too. His own top aides met recently with Republican staff to discuss how lawmakers should talk to female constituents. "Let me put it this way, some of these guys have a lot to learn," said a Republican staffer who attended the session in Boehner's office.
GOP men tutored in running against women

One of those guys decidedly not with a lot to learn is Lake County's ladies man in Washington, Congressman Peter Roskam. Despite a record of voting for Bills that would handcuff women against making reproductive choices, obtaining affordable health care, and providing basic nutrition & educational services to their children, Roskam has always been able to count on the ladies of his district to provide him with a comfortable cushion of victory at the polls.

If you are one of those guys with a lot to learn -- and you know who you are -- you've come to the right place. For a LakeCountyEye exclusive, Peter Roskam has generously agreed to share some of his secrets and tips on how to win over those very special ladies:

Roskam's Rules for Charming Your Impressionable Women Voters

	Be Complimentary
	Remember the old saying: catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
	Smile
	You paid for those pearly whites -- show some of them!
	Do Not Be Overbearing
	They may be the weaker sex, but resist the temptation to take advantage of it.
	Look Good
	Before After
	Show Your Passion
	No one is going to name any names, Congressman Hultgren.

Tomorrow: Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh reminds you that fathers have rights, too.

Chrome Drones

Lake County cyber-shoppers are have been informed their Christmas deliveries will arrive late this year. The Amazon Drone was last seen stuck in the bug-zapper at the South Lake Mosquito Abatement District.

Haha, the Amazon Drone is some web-widget-thingy that Amazon.com uses to deliver their tax-free Panatelas, and whatnot, without incurring UPS costs. Your LakeCountyEye found a picture of the drone on the Internet:

Chicago Tribune

Sharp-eyed operatives will have immediately recognized the work of your LakeCountyEye's very own Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™. Sharper-eyed ops will notice the caption in the cartoon is wrong, and should suspect a printer's error. Here is the corrected caption:

Shouldn't Send 'Em Over McHenry County

For those doubting that a screwup of that caliber is even possible, here's the skinny:

You weren't just blindsighted by the glare.
Nope, this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!

Note to ops: When in McHenry County, be vigilant for Bezos with guns.

Polls, Tolls and Rigamaroles

Christmas 2013 is out of the red and squarely in the green -- Black Friday was a jing-a-ling success in Lake County. Your LakeCountyEye, eyes always peeled for a bargain, laid some hands on a new Steely Dan ...

... album:

When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road.
Katy Lied

The road in question, of course, is the Route 53 Extension.

Haha, operatives still stuck in holiday traffic can pass the time by participating in the Route 53 Extension Project Feasibility Analysis Survey. The Daily Herald has the details ...

Do I want to pay $3.45 instead of 95 cents to travel from Arlington Heights to Libertyville 12 minutes faster? How about $2.95 rather than 95 cents to shave seven minutes off my commute? Or what about $1.20 for a savings of six minutes? My brain hurts after completing the Illinois tollway's online Route 53/120 project feasibility study.
Save time or money on extended Route 53?
You decide

Holiday cheer & feasibility surveys, no doubt, do not mix. Nonetheless, your LakeCountyEye -- who knows a thing or two about brain-freeze (especially in December) -- accepted the challenge, and went to the Illinois Tollway website:

Illinois Route 53/120 Project Feasibility Analysis Survey

Your LakeCountyEye can report that the Daily Herald was not exaggerating, this is one difficult survey, indeed:

The website looks to have been designed by the same team that did ObamaCare -- your LakeCountyEye was unable to get beyond the splash-page.

Truth be told, the Illinois Route 53/120 Project Feasibility Analysis Survey seems to be password protected. Surely somebody has the password.

Anyone?

Bueller?