Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Winchester Casino

Will gambling be the next sure-thing in Lake County? Maybe, according to the News-Sun ...
Lake County could soon be in the casino business now that the Legislature has approved a major expansion of legalized gambling in Illinois, proposing a gaming venue for Park City. But will Gov. Pat Quinn, who helped scuttle a previous casino expansion bill, sign the measure into law?
Our View: Roll the dice
Will he or won't he? Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and operatives, there's still time to place a bet!

The usual informed sources inform your LakeCountyEye that not only is gambling coming to Lake County, but the Lake County Board wants in on the action. It's no secret to readers of this blog ...
Privatized Residence
that the County Board wants to outsource Winchester House operations to a private interest. Now it's a well known fact that casinos make most of their profit off of senior citizens -- the so called little-old-lady-brigade buses. (The real impetus behind the Route 53 extension, btw, was to open a superhighway corridor to ensure senior buses could arrive at Potawatomi before the end of the breakfast buffet.) Suffice it to say that the unnamed private interest in question plans to rebrand Winchester House with a new corporate identity:
Winchester Casino
The plan will, so to speak, kill two birds with one stone -- and sources inform your LakeCountyEye that it is regarded as an all-around win-win for everyone. Preparations for the Winchester Casino are already under way, including a marketing campaign complete with TV and radio buys. Operatives are advised to keep an ear pricked for a snappy new jingle:
Winchester Casino, we're doubling down,
Bet the farm, we're all in, we're going to town.

You were instituted, a hospice retreat,
But you've added no income, to our balance sheet.

Now everyone wants to hear that you're feeling well,
But the clock is on, let's hear the ding-ding of those slot-machine bells!

Winchester Casino, we're doubling down,
Bet the farm, we're all in, we're going to town.
Look for your LakeCountyEye Boh-Dee-Oh-Dee-Oh-Doh-ing in the dark near you.

1 comment:

Bystander said...

Gee, thanks for reminding me of a very forgettable song.