Monday, July 20, 2009

Mark Kirk Still Mulling His Options

Ha ha just kidding.

Tenth District Congressman Mark Kirk finally, officially, damn-the-torpedoes-full-speed-aheadly pulled the trigger. Kirk announced today that he is going for electoral gold, the US Senate. The announcement was stage-managed from the front yard of one of Kirk's Northshore manses, somewhere down in the Cook part of the 10th that your LakeCountyEye couldn't find even with the LakeCountyEye SeeingEyeDog.

The exact location of the event was a Kirk-campaign closely guarded secret. So closely guarded, in fact, that had not your LakeCountyEye leaked the address here yesterday, it is doubtful if the press would have ever found the event. (And it would still be an open question if Kirk was running or not, and the headline of this post would not be joke). For that matter, no one would have been in attendance other than a smattering of Kirk supporters & family members. But as observed by the Tribune, members of the public from all walks of life were present:
Kirk and other speakers were buffeted by a group of protesters who said they favored health-care reform. Kirk supporters engaged in a shouting match with some of the protesters, and Kirk said "those are the left-wing guys."
Your LakeCountyEye's own reliable sources report hearing chants of Tastes Great! coming from one side, Less Filling! from the other.

Kirk Hands 10th Congressional District to Dan Seals

This was the headline your LakeCountyEye originally led with, only to be overruled by a pusillanimous editorial board. Kirk obviously was the 800 lb gorilla of the 10th District, and now that he has moved on to greener pastures, the field is wide open. Your LakeCountyEye predicts an influx of candidates rivalling the Gold Rush of 1848. And from all 3 sides of the aisle. It is not inconceivable that there will be more candidates grasping for Kirk's empty seat than there are registered voters to sign nominating petitions. Petition signatures are not a renewable resource, and your LakeCountyEye recommends an early start. 12 am, Aug 4 -- if not sooner.

Of course this all bodes well for Dan Seals. In a crowded field, the candidate with the best name recognition usually wins. Dan Seals has appeared on the ballot 4 times and is the current nom de guerre of 10th District name recognition. And since the 10th gave 60% of its votes to Obama, this is a pretty safe Democratic District and would be Seals's to lose. Of course, had Seals run at least one competent campaign he would be called Congressman Seals today. To Michael Bond and whichever sadsack Republican candidate winds up on the ballot, there is a glimmer of hope.

Kirk Out

To the relief of your LakeCountyEye this is likely the last Kirk story that will be posted here. Your LakeCountyEye fervently hopes to have sifted through our last Google image of Wm Shatner and looks forward to being back on the job making fun of elected grifters of the small-time sort.


Anonymous said...

Secret? A press release and general announcement was sent out about the location last Wednesday. Not a very good way of keeping a secret. Everyone seemed to know about it.

But the Kirk campaign wasn't the only group blabbing secrets about that rally or even during that rally!

The organized Health Care protesters and Immigration Reform protesters were a nice touch. So were the two fellows running around trying to keep them organized. Operation PUSH paid for the transportation of the immigrant protesters and loudly bragged about it, and three of the Health Care protesters hailed from Kenosha, Wisconsin! They loudly proclaimed "We came in from Kenosha" in a crowded setting to their fellow protesters. Kenosha?

Ah, the things you pick up when you stand in back of a rally and watch "grass roots" operatives at work! "Spontaneous" they were not. "Smart" would not be an accurate description of their actions that morning.

Also appearing were a few extreme right wing goofs claiming Kirk was a traitor to the nation. They held up signs and expected their fellow Republicans to shout hosannas at them while laying palms at their feet. They were shocked when confronted with "are those Democrat signs you are holding up?" and "are the Democrats paying you to be here too?" "Smart" also would not be an accurate description of their actions that morning.

Also appearing was a worn out tired looking hippie type holding a sign demanding that Kirk support Obama's agenda. While holding that sign he was loudly stating to everyone assembled how "disappointed" he was that Obama had abandoned his agenda.

Goofs at political gatherings. You gotta love them all! They are the ones who make politics interesting!

Nicki said...

Oh, you're a funny one all right, Barney, with your headline. Kirk is like the boy who cried wolf too many times, so it seemed quite possible he was still mulling.

I agree with your assessment of Dan Seals' campaigns. I expected better of him last time - I thought he'd have learned a thing or two.

Barney Baxter said...

Anonymous, sounds like a good time was had by all.

Lake County Eye always needs operatives in the field. Send tips to

Barney Baxter said...

Hi Nicki, I just saw Seals is now in. Lots of dust being kicked up in the 10th this week.