Saturday, July 18, 2009

Q the Eye/07.18.09

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I'm the long time mayor of a small town. So small, my municipal paycheck barely covers my bar tab. Last year I got sacked from my day-job. My COBRA benefits just ran out, I have a 2 pack-a-day habit, and I don't have any health insurance. I'm dying for some advice!

Need Some Reinsurances
Dear Needsome,

Your LakeCountyEye admires your lifestyle. Among the industrialized nations, Americans have the poorest habits when it comes to living healthy, and as a result most of us tend to be walking-ambulance-rides waiting to happen. Combine that with statistics showing that Americans are among the worst insured and that translates into a sure prescription for a medical calamity.

Still, keep your chins up because Park City Mayor Steve Pannell found himself in a similar pickle but managed to score some free insurance anyways. Pannell simply added himself and his wife to his municipal employee's health plan. The News-Sun has the details:
He admitted to placing himself on the city's employee Blue Cross health insurance plan in 2007 when he became unemployed because of his deteriorating health. He said he was aware of the city's policy to provide health benefits only to those who were full-time employees.
Indeed as Mayor he wasn't eligible to be on the plan, which resulted in the misappropriation of some $19,000. But this shouldn't stop you from following Pannell's lead. After all it was more than two years before anyone in sleepy old Park City noticed the scam.

Now I'm sure you're thinking to yourself ... that's great advice, LakeCountyEye, but isn't that illegal? I understand you also get free medical attention in the County lockup, but that strikes me as an extreme solution to my problem.

Your LakeCountyEye agrees, but forgot to mention that you also need to get in tight with the local Republican Party establishment. Everyone in Lake County knows that Republican office-holders never get prosecuted for anything. And don't take it on your LakeCountyEye's sayso. According to the News-Sun:
an investigation by the Lake County State's Attorney's Office indicated the intent was not criminal.
In other words if you do get caught, all you say is oopsie I didn't really mean to do it!

Now I'm sure you're thinking to yourself ... isn't this the same Republican Party that fought tooth & nail for years against universal health coverage, and is the reason I'm uninsured today?

Again your LakeCountyEye agrees. They don't need no stinkin' socialized medicine because the Republican Party knows how to take care of their own. And if you listen to your LakeCountyEye they will take care of your family as well.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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