Blast Shields

Question of the day:

When in Lake Bluff, what do you say to a pickleball player?

Answer:

See you in court.

HaHa, the legal guns are out in Lake Bluff and the target is pickleball:

The use of pickleball courts in Lake Bluff's Blair Park has ignited a contentious battle between the village and the Park District, with both sides appearing to dig in for a protracted fight. In a dispute stemming from a noise complaint coming from play on pickleball courts, the two government entities are at odds whether the Park District acted within its authority to operate the courts, and whether village approval was required for the conversion from tennis to pickleball courts.
Lake Bluff, Park District at odds over pickleball courts; 'We have to enforce the zoning code'

Along with noisy pickleball, the Village of Lake Bluff has also banned noisy leaf blowers:

Following a regional examination of the issue with participation from many North Shore communities, the Lake Bluff board instituted the seasonal ban earlier this year as the use of gas-powered leaf blowers have generated environmental concerns and the noise they make is considered an irritant by some.
Lake Bluff denies leaf-blower exemption for prominent local couple; 'We take great pride in the appearance of this property'

All that peace and quiet in Lake Bluff no doubt made it easier to hear all of the gunfire coming from neighboring Lake Forest. Where the Shields Township GOP held a social, with open-range target shooting:

Note to Ops: Are there little ones running around? Then make sure all of your firearms are equipped with child safety locks!

What the Dickens was That?

Has the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist been inhaling too much Canadian wildfire smoke? The Chicago Tribune (a family publication) syndicated this drawing from the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™:

Join, or die (Scott Stantis/For the Chicago Tribune)

Readers were left with the grim task of putting a name to the picture:

A spokesman for Cthulhu says the picture looks nothing like him.

Leaves for Greener Pastures

Much to the chagrin of Lake County moneybags Dick Uihlein, nothing in the Village of Lake Bluff blows:

The Lake Bluff Village Board has denied a request by a prominent local couple, known for making large financial donations to conservative political candidates, for a two-year exemption from the village's new seasonal ban on gas-powered leaf blowers. At their June 27 meeting, village board trustees unanimously supported the recommendation to deny a request from Liz and Dick Uihlein for a two-year exemption on the village's newly instituted seasonal prohibition of gas-powered leaf blowers — which runs from May 15 to Sept. 30 — at their home in Lake Bluff.
Lake Bluff denies leaf-blower exemption for prominent local couple; ‘We take great pride in the appearance of this property’

Note to Ops: Does City Hall fail to pay you your proper respect? Well, don't get mad, get even. Your village trustees aren't being paid anything to pass those onerous ordinances, and there is a reason for it. That's because the system is set up to encourage rich and powerful guys, as well as local business interests, to get stooges elected to their city councils. And then those stooges can pass onerous ordinances more to your liking.

It's as simple as selling shipping supplies in an age of on-line marketing. Just sayin!

McHenry County Titters

An actual unretouched screencap from the tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog:

One roaming ethical watchdog told your LakeCountyEye: "Go ahead and say what you want about McHenry County. But they sure know how to throw a party."

But Who's Counting?

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

In related news, the latest winning numbers for the Mega Millions jackpot are:

1 29 999 9999 99999 72

Hunter Blatherer

Question of the Day:

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:

That's just what they want you to believe.

HaHa, Mark Curran has been airing conspiracy theories on YouTube. And then YouTube cancelled Curran. Which only proves they must be true:

Former Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran was censored by YouTube for posting a video detailing Hunter Biden's connections in international business dealing and alleged sex trafficking connections. "International Child Advocate Attorney Liz Yore knows what type of crimes exist on Hunter Biden's laptop, and was briefed on the massive file that exists now with the House Oversight Committee detailing his massive links to sex trafficking," Curran said on Facebook.
Former Lake County Sheriff Curran: 'YouTube censored our interview earlier this week for no explanation'

For the record, Illinois voters also cancelled Curran last November. Curran was on the ballot for Supreme Court Justice. And before that, Curran was cancelled by the voters in 2020, when he was on the ballot for US Senate. And if that weren't a kick in the pants, the voters cancelled Curran a third time in 2018 when he lost a re-election bid to be Lake County Sheriff.

What's next for Lake County favorite son Mark Curran?

Your LakeCountyEye observes that there isn't anyone, except a handful of losers, running for the Republican Presidential nomination. The field is still wide open. Just sayin!

McHenry County Man Gets Inked

Question of the day:

Who would win in a fight -- the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot or the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist?

Answer: The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot. He's insanely faster on the draw.

HaHa, the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ printed a drawing of the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot:

Shooting himself in the feet

One local cowpoke told your LakeCountyEye: "I'm skeptical. That guy would be wearing overshoes if he was working in McHenry County."

McHenry County Man on Foot

The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot, shot himself in the foot again. Only this time he failed to be in McHenry County:

A Lake Barrington man dreamed that burglars were breaking into his home and awoke to discover that he had shot himself in the leg, the Lake County sheriff's office said Tuesday.
Lake Barrington man facing firearms charges after shooting himself while dreaming burglars were breaking into home, authorities say

One armed travel advisor told your LakeCountyEye: "If you plan to be away from McHenry County, make sure to have a vehicle with an automatic transmission. It's a pain to drive a stick-shift on one leg."

S9/Ep2: McHenry County Man Shoots Himself in the Foot

The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot failed to shoot himself in the foot. He shot someone else in the foot, instead. Again:

An Algonquin man was arrested early Sunday morning after police say he shot a man in the foot during a party in unincorporated Harvard, according to the criminal complaint on file in the McHenry County courthouse.
Algonquin man accused of shooting man in the foot at Harvard party Sunday

One local arms kingpin told your LakeCountyEye: "How hard is it to shoot yourself in the foot? That's why we have practice ranges for that."

There Goes the Buzzer

Its mission has been to kill insects. But now the Southlake Mosquito Abatement District sees that the Grim Reaper is knocking on its own front door.

Oh the irony:

Dissolution could be looming for Lake County's last mosquito abatement district after board shakeup

The Southlake Mosquito Abatement District has been using chemical weapons to exterminate mosquitoes for more than 75 years.  And insect populations are collapsing throughout the globe ...

Habitat loss, pesticides and climate change are threatening insect populations worldwide. In 2019, Biological Conservation reported that 40% of all insects species are declining globally and that a third of them are endangered.
The world's insect population is in decline — and that's bad news for humans

Now that mosquitoes are going extinct in Lake County, is it time for the Southlake Mosquito Abatement District to finally bite the dust?

That next Southlake Mosquito Abatement District insecticide spray truck you see just may be on the way to the happy hunting grounds.

Imatation is the Surest Form of Illiteracy

An actual unretouched screencap from the McHenry County Blog:

For the record, McHenry County is where you get elected to the School Board by promising to lower taxes:

An out-of-state political action committee spent more than $3,800 to support four candidates running for the Huntley School District 158 Board, much to the consternation of some of their opponents. The McHenry County Citizens for Lower Taxes committee, based in Hudson, Wisconsin, endorsed the four candidates – Andrew Bittman, Laura Murray, Michael Thompson and Gina Galligar – ahead of the April 4 election, according to state election records. All four candidates endorsed by the political action committee won, according to election results certified Tuesday. All of the incumbents seeking another term lost. The four candidates, who ran as a slate, campaigned on a platform of lower taxes
Huntley School District 158 candidates disagree on campaign spending’s effectiveness
An out-of-state political action committee donated $15K, spent thousands on printing, food

Note to Ops: Lower Taxes = Defund the Schools = 'Nuff Said!

Cut to the Chase

Anyone who is anyone in Lake County is watching the Federal trial against James Weiss, who is accused of bribing elected officials. (For the record, legal scholars say Weiss will ultimately walk free -- when Donald Trump becomes President again, he will issue a blanket pardon to anyone convicted of a federal offense.)  But one Lake County politician features prominently in the trial. Of course your LakeCountyEye refers to Chase Heidner.

Heidner's father, Rick Heidner was mentioned by name on the witness stand. It turns out that Illinois elected officials were taking ...

campaign donations from both sweepstakes proponents and opponents, including Rick Heidner, a video poker kingpin.
Witness testifies on turn to mole
Ex-state senator says he cooperated after facing tax charges

It goes without saying that Chase Heidner was a 2023 candidate for Barrington Library Trustee. Heidner came in fourth out of a field of four.

Note to Ops: Will you be a candidate for Library or School Board in 2025? Is one of your parents a video poker kingpin? Then promise to install nickel slot machines in your Library or School. The voters are guaranteed to reward you!

Bear Witness

It's official, the Bears are moving to Lake County!

As readers of this blog are aware ...

Do Bears Split-T in the Woods?

the Chicago Bears are itching to buy Lake County's unused Forest Preserves to build their new stadium.

Well, quicker than a day-old bran muffin from Taco Bell, one of the Bears was recognized this week, in Gurnee sniffing around:

Bear spotted in Gurnee

If this Bear left a calling card, it was dropped in the woods, as is their wont.

Tyson the Bison was unavailable for comment.

Do Bears Split-T in the Woods?

Chicago says goodbye to Taylor Swift. Which goes to prove there is someone who has played at Soldier Field that the Bears can beat.

It is widely believed that the Chicago Bears will move to the Arlington Race Track. Horse racing rules are different from football. For one thing, you can make money if you bet on the second-place contestant (and even the third-place contestant). This could work to the Bears advantage.

Now, in pro sports no deal is ever really sealed, not until the players are on the field:

Chicago Bears officials met with Naperville Mayor Scott Wehrli on Friday to discuss the possibility of abandoning their plans for a new stadium development in Arlington Heights in favor of building it in the large western suburb. In a move that could be used as bargaining leverage, the team said in a statement Friday that plans to build "the largest single development project in Illinois history" are "at risk" in Arlington Heights.
Chicago Bears listen to proposal from Naperville for stadium site. Arlington Heights 'no longer our singular focus,' team says.

If the Bears decide to not play in Arlington Heights, where will they play?

Sports insiders are saying the Bears will buy the Waukegan Airport.  That way they can build a new stadium on any one of the Lake County Forest Preserves that the Airport owns.

I'll Bet

Finally, it's summertime. In Lake County, summer is the season when the sun sets at midnight -- and naturally everyone wants to know where the 24 hour gambling is.

Is there 24-hour gambling in Waukegan? Nope, only on the weekends:

Currently open for consecutive 20-hour shifts from 8 a.m. to 4 a.m. the next day, starting May 12, the casino will open at 8 a.m. on Fridays and not close until 4 a.m. the following Monday.
Waukegan casino expects to add sportsbook by August; expanded weekend hours and more table games also planned

For true 24/7 gambling in Lake County, go to Lincolnshire instead!

The Greater Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce wants you to play online casino gambling. Where you can gamble anywhere, anytime 24/7/365.

At least that's what the Lake County Gazette says:

Note to Ops: Are you the executive director of a Lake County chamber of commerce or other civic organization? Then direct your organization to endorse online casino gambling. The Greater Lincolnshire Chamber of Commerce did just that and got free media from the Lake County Gazette. It's not for nothing that the Lake County Gazette is Lake County's #1 fakenews source.

TL;DR

Question of the day: How many Lake County Forest preserve trees will be chopped down to make room for the new Waukegan Airport runway?

Answer: Enough to print the 1250 page environmental impact report.

HaHa, they dropped the Waukegan National Airport Runway Replacement Preliminary Draft Environmental Assessment report, and the NewsSun has it:

News-Sun obtains preliminary environmental impact report for Waukegan airport runway extension ahead of potential summer hearing

Fun fact: If laid end to end, the 1250 page report would be long enough to land an airplane at the Waukegan Airport. But if you want to fly in on the company Gulfstream, you'll need a bigger runway -- built on land which can be seized from the neighboring Forest Preserve.

The report is going to the Lake County Board, who will decide whether to cede Forest Preserve land to the Waukegan Airport.

One long-range government planner is not too worried and told your LakeCountyEye: "By the time anyone finishes reading that report, global warming will have killed off all of the Forest Preserves anyways."

Twofer

It is not known which McHenry County man. in particular, shot in the foot the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot, this time. What is known is that the McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot was shot in both feet:

Police say the victim was found with gunshot wounds to both legs and was transported to Northwestern Medicine McHenry Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.
Man shot in both legs at McHenry apartment complex: police

One local arms merchant told your LakeCountyEye: "When it comes to legs, McHenry County gun owners generally have only two. So that may be the record."

The Color of Money

Pop quiz!

Today's question will be an opportunity to test your financial acumen:

Q: Where's the money?

The surprising answer comes from the pages of the Lake County Gazette:

A: Black Lives Matter

The Lake County Gazette says nearly 94 million dollars was donated to Black Lives Matter by just 3 Lake County companies:

AbbVie Inc

$62,000,360

Abbott Laboratories

$25,000,000

Baxter International Inc

$6,850,000

Should this be regarded simply as more malarkey from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source? A lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry told your LakeCountyEye: "I believe it. Ninety four million is walking-around money."

Willard and Cooch

Like a mail-in ballot that was stamped Return to Sender, Willard Helander is back.

Lake County favorite son Willard Helander will be giving a speech on election suppression protection at some fundraiser in Orland Park:

Helander to speak at Midwest Election Integrity Summit

The keynote speaker is Ken Cuccinelli, who was a Homeland Security Czar under President Trump. Cuccinelli -- aka The Cooch -- is best known for proposing new verbiage for the "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free" plaque on the Statue of Liberty:

Note to Cosplayers: Do not expect Willard Helander to appear dressed as Lady Liberty.

No Scratch Fever

Ted Nugent got cancelled yet again.  This time he got cancelled in Birmingham Alabama:

Ted Nugent's concert in Birmingham has been canceled amid a wave of controversy on social media. Nugent, 74, a hard rock veteran and political provocateur, was set to play on July 18 at Avondale Brewing Co. His appearance here, which was announced on Monday by promoter Red Mountain Entertainment, inspired intense reactions this week among concertgoers, who expressed anger and disappointment on the venue's Facebook and Instagram pages.
Ted Nugent concert in Alabama canceled amid social media backlash

If red state Alabama doesn't want Ted Nugent, where in the world could he go?

Well, Lake County favorite son Ted Nugent is welcome to come back to Waukegan. Where he could get a gig at the Waukegan casino:

there are openings for food and beverage personnel, as well as dealers. Dealers either need experience or will have to go to dealer school to learn to run the different games. Classes generally last six weeks.
Waukegan casino expects to add sportsbook by August; expanded weekend hours and more table games also planned

It is not known if Ted Nugent has any experience as a dealer. But he could apply for a position as a security guard:

A fun fact, Ted Nugent's nickname is the Motor City Madman. Nugent would be advised not to share this information on his job application.