Sunday, October 5, 2014

Rules for Radicals

Stop me if you heard this one before.  Knock Knock ... October in Lake County is when strangely dressed people will knock on your door and threaten mayhem unless you reward them with a sweet confection. Halloween trick or treaters? Nope, campaign canvassers.

Haha, your LakeCountyEye loves that joke. It seems however that no one loves campaign canvassers. The Sun-Times observed that ...
While people are bombarded with campaign commercials each time they turn on the television, some local political leaders are getting a different story as they knock on their neighbors' doors to have conversations about the upcoming election. Republican and Democratic grassroots leaders are sensing community anger and discontent as they fan out across Lake Forest, Deerfield and Highland Park in advance of the Nov. 4 election. "Everybody's angry and fed up with the negative commercials," Moraine Township Republican Chair Lou Atsaves of Lake Forest said.
Local political leaders sense anger preceeding November election
Not to be a buzzkill, but your LakeCountyEye senses otherwise. Operatives report that overall everybody's been quite nice, and the electorate is no more riled up than usual. Note to ops: if you are received poorly at the door, the problem may not the message but the messenger. Just sayin!

Candidates who send people door-to-door should recognize that there are standards of decorum and, if adhered to, their volunteers could be the margin of victory.  Simply observe these 10 rules and you will walk away from that next house not only with a yardsign in the lawn but a Double-Decker MoonPie in your sack!
Ten Rules of Conduct for Campaign Door Knockers
  1. Wear pants.
        Speedos or pajama bottoms are unseemly.

  2. Keep your concealed carry concealed.

  3. No Smoking:
    • Tobacco
    • Marijuana

  4. Do not hypnotize the backyard chickens.

  5. Skip Chief Keef's House.

  6. Do not play Shave and a Haircut Two Bits.
        That knocker is not a musical instrument.

  7. It is illegal to trade your iPhone 6 for their vote.

  8. It is not illegal to trade your vote for their iPhone 6.

  9. Do not say: "One last survey question: What's for lunch?"

  10. No shirt, no shoes? Stay off the lawn.
Look for your LakeCountyEye on a stoop near you.

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