Friday, October 3, 2014

Ballot Secrets

Mona Lisa musta had the highway blues. Your LakeCountyEye observes that there are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand math, and those who get into politics.

Haha, appearances to the contrary, mathematical know-how is essential to success in the political arena. Operatives will be asked to count votes, identify precincts by number, punch a phone number into a robo-dialer, and more. Anyone deficient in these basic skills should immediately get over to the College of Lake County, and sign up for Arithmetic One-Zero-One. Or enroll in a comparable on-line 3rd grade math course. You will not regret it.

Math is also useful when it comes to cracking coded messages. Lake County Clerk Willard Helander told the Daily Herald that her office has been inundated with a record-busting number of requests for absentee ballots:
The possible reason, Helander says, is the nationally watched battle for Congress between Democratic U.S. Rep. Brad Schneider of Deerfield and Republican challenger Bob Dold of Kenilworth in the north suburban 10th District. Both sides are scurrying for votes and trying to take advantage of the law allowing people to vote by mail without having to explain why they can't vote on Election Day.
Riopell: North suburban race for Congress drives ballot requests
Helander divulged a whopping 17,309 requests for ballots. Operatives should immediately recognize this as a coded message, and decipherable by anyone with sufficient math skills. Political cognoscenti will count up the number of absentee ballots requested by their campaign, and subtract that from 17,309. The answer will be the number of absentee ballots requested by their opponent:
17309 - Your Absentee Ballots = Their Absentee Ballots
This resulting number is a campaign secret closely guarded by campaign operatives. You know who you are.

No comments: