Sunday, February 19, 2012

Q the Eye/02.19.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

It's bad enough when they need to steal your name to get elected President. Now the Justice Department has ordered me to print all my ballots in Spanish. Our voters will take one look at a bi-lingual ballot and think their County Clerk has all of a sudden turned into a Massachusetts Moderate. My brand is at stake -- what are my PR options?

Not Willing to Enable

Dear Damage Control,

Ὥρος HōrosDon't you just hate it when some anonymous Washington bureaucrat imposes some onerous restriction on the front-line freedom-loving administrators of local government? One local County Clerk was recently dealt a Federal mandate suspiciously similar to yours -- and responded in the tried and true manner: immediately dispatch a bunch of letters-to-the-editor to alert a snoozing media:
Election information in Lake County is now printed in English with a Spanish translation. In late 2011, the U.S. Department of Justice sent a certification letter requiring Lake County to provide complete bilingual election administration in the Spanish language for 2012. This requirement is a result of the application 2010 U.S. Census data to the requirements test under the Voting Rights Act.
Voting language
This particular press release also reminded everyone who's to blame when they realize their ballot is written in a foreign language:
The Lake County Clerk's Office is working diligently to comply with the bilingual requirements and to ensure Lake County taxpayers and voters are not at risk for any facet of non-compliance. All election administration materials will be provided in English with Spanish translations as required by the federal law under the Voting Rights Act.

Willard Helander
Lake County clerk

Voting language
Of course, some believe the best defense is a good offense. Rather than capitulate, bold action may be the order of the day. Instead of sending letters to the newspapers, send one back to that pesky Justice Department:
Estimado Fiscal General Holder,
Lo siento, no hablo Inglés.
[your name here]
This will at least buy you some time.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...


Bystander said...

So nice of Willard to issue a press release informing us that she's complying with the law, so as not to make us liable for any omission of hers. Usually she just sends press releases to tell us that complying with the law will cost the taxpayers money and necessitate reductions in service (see "Early Voting").

Barney Baxter said...

hi Bystander,

I suspect the Lake County Clerk is sometimes overwhelmed by the demands of her job.