Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Morgue the Merrier

As if stretching their creative muscles this week, TeamAmerica10th took a stab at Internet humor. The niche-market blog posted a story about Richard Keller, the Lake County Coroner. Keller, who proved it doesn't pay to moonlight from the day-job, resigned suddenly on Tuesday; the Sun-Times has the post-mortem:
Lake County coroner resigns after plea deal in overdose case
TeamAmerica10th's comical spin on the story's aftermath:
Terry Link, Lake County Democratic Chairman, will likely be the one to make the recommendation of a temporary replacement to be appointed by the Lake County Board Chairman, David Stolman, with the advice and consent of the Lake County Board (since the replacement must be a Democrat). Maybe since his wife Susan Link was crushed in her primary bid for election as a Waukegan Alderman (against long-time incumbent Larry TenPas), she would be a likely candidate.
A Sad End to the Tenure of Democrat Dr. Richard Keller as Lake County Coroner
One of the pitfalls of Internet blogging is that there is no laughtrack to alert the reader where the jokes are. In this particular case the joke is the suggestion that Terry Link will recommend his wife to replace Keller. Rimshot.

All kidding aside, Link may very well be extended the courtesy to recommend a candidate. However, the appointment is to be be made by David Stolman and the Lake County Board; their only constraint is the appointee must be a Democrat.

Operatives are advised to watch for the County Board to disregard any qualified candidate recommended to them. Your LakeCountyEye has learned that the Board is already interviewing a pre-determined slate of eager job hopefuls. Here are their names, and the rationale behind their suitability for the position. The winner assumes the Coroner's job at an annual salary of about $100K, through 2012.

The Ten Leading Candidates for Lake County Coroner
Brent PaxtonCounty CommissionerChiropractor
Joe WalshCongressmanSkeletons in the Closet
Richard KellerEx-CoronerPrior On-the-Job Experience
Creepy Chicago Tribune CartoonistPolitical CartoonistCreepy
TeamAmerica10thAttorneyInternet Blogger
Dan DuffyState Senator"I'm not down there to make friends."
Lisa StoneEx-TrusteeDavid Stolman : Lisa Stone :: Skipper : Gilligan
Bonnie Thompson CarterCounty CommissionerAble to Procure Plenty of Land for Pauper's Graves
Your LakeCountyEyePajamaclad BloggerExtensive Experience Getting Dead People to the Polls
Mark CurranCounty SheriffMad as a Hornet

Look for your LakeCountyEye in the scullery, sharpening the knives.

1 comment:

Jacob Beilhart said...

Bonnie Carter for Coroner. That one is rich! But hey, why not? She plays armchair lawyer (poorly), wasting tax payer resources, trampling her own constituents' rights, lies like there's no tomorrow, and gets away with it in Lake County.

Why not play armchair Coroner, too?