Q the Eye/04.04.15

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Being a good GOP footsoldier who carried water for the elephant all his life, it was time to ask Where's Mine? So the Governor appoints me to a State Commission. It's called the Illinois Advisory Commission Review Panel Task Force. Or something like that. And that's OK -- until I find out I'm not paid anything except expenses.

Expenses? I did not think indentured servitude was still legal. Do I have to attend these meetings or should I resign now?

No Representation Without Compensation

Dear Non Compos,

The bad news is that while some IL Commission members are paid quite well, most only get expenses. The Governor's office told your LakeCountyEye that unpaid Commission seats are harder to fill than a Kanye West concert in McHenry County.

The good news is you get reimbursed for your expenses. So just follow the lead of those unpaid public officials who have raised the art of padding an expense account to a science: the Community College Trustee.

One nearby Community College is an industry leader when it comes to remuneratory overreach. Your LakeCountyEye refers not to the College of DuPage -- who are pikers when compared to some of the creative expense reporting that has come out of the College of Lake County.

Just for instance ...

• CLC Trustee Barbara Oilschlager recouped ...
  $1,198.73 in mileage and toll reimbursements for driving from Chicago to a national conference in Boston and back in 2012. Oilschlager's trip began Oct. 2, although the conference didn't start until Oct. 10, according to the Association of Community College Trustees' website. Even though the conference concluded Oct. 13, Oilschlager didn't leave Boston until Oct. 16, according to the I-PASS records she submitted. She returned to the Chicago area the next day.
  College of Lake County board spent $110,000 on travel, food over two years
  
  Oilschlager also ...
  charged taxpayers for six hotel nights in Boston costing $1,847 on that trip. She also spent $283 in the past two years on tips to hotel maids, bellmen, valets and airport porters, according to her expense reports. None of those expenses were documented with receipts.
  College of Lake County board spent $110,000 on travel, food over two years
  
  
• CLC Trustee Richard Anderson was reimbursed for an ...
  "appetizers" receipt from the Coq d'Or at Chicago's Drake Hotel at 10:15 p.m. June 7, 2013, on Anderson's wife's credit card
  College of Lake County board spent $110,000 on travel, food over two years
  
  
• CLC Trustee Bill Griffin got ...
  $600 in airfare to fly Trustee Bill Griffin to Springfield twice
  College of Lake County board spent $110,000 on travel, food over two years

As should be abundantly clear, life hasn't given you lemons. Life has given you limos. You just have to know how to expense them.

Take that golden expense account and party on like it's still 1999.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Awes, the Great and Powerful

Awesome \Awe"some\, adj.

1. Causing awe; appalling; awful; as, an awesome sight.
2. Expressive of awe or terror.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary

As far as off-year elections go, they don't come more off than this year's -- perhaps with the exception of those years when no elections are held. Haha, Lake County candidates are taking desperate measures to get their voters to the polls on April 9, who are all expected to stay at home in record numbers.

One sign of desperation are those questionnaires that newspapers will ask candidates to complete, in lieu of actual reportage. As readers of this blog are awestruckedly aware ...

Awes, the Great and Powerful

A candidate for Lake County College Trustee, Barbara Oilschlager, dropped the A-Bomb in a questionnaire submitted to the Patch (another sign of desperation):

College of Lake County is an awesome place and I want to keep it that way.
Barbara D. Oilschlager: College of Lake County Board Candidate

If the goal here is to drive the youth vote to the polls, your LakeCountyEye suspects her statement may have the opposite effect of popping the gearshift into reverse. On the other hand, no one under 50 votes in off-year elections, so no harm no foul.

Most of these candidate's questionnaires posted online look like the answers were copied off a Dog N Suds menu. This particular Trustee candidate's questionnaire is an exception and deserves an "A" for effort. Your LakeCountyEye suspects that her questionnaire was penned by a campaign consultant. Either that or Oilschlager is a retiree of Medicare age with an excess of free time.

In either event, your LakeCountyEye cautions operatives to choose words carefully when submitting newspaper questionnaires -- or risk coming across way more geriatrical than you actually happen to be. If that is too much to expect on your salary then here at least are 10 words -- along with awesome -- to avoid:

Ten Adjectives Never to Use When Writing a Candidate Bio

geriatrical far-out unindicted Fahrvergnügen l33t bedridden bedbug ridden chaetophorous Machiavellian oleaginous

Look for your LakeCountyEye at a thesaurus near you.

Vote Early Vote Awesome

It may be spring break in Lake County -- but that doesn't mean there won't be a surprise pop quiz:

Who recently told one local newspaper: "College of Lake County is an awesome place and I want to keep it that way."
	Buchanan La Quinta Occupation: Political Science Undergraduate, College of Lake County Age: 19
	Ashley Wilkes Occupation: Digital Game Design Instructor, College of Lake County Age: 31
	Barbara Oilschlager Occupation: Retired Age: 64

If you guessed "Awesome" Barbara Oilschlager then step forward and claim your prize: An all-expenses-paid spring-break weekend on Blarney Island.

Barbara Oilschlager is a candidate for College of Lake County Trustee. And with election day just around the corner, on April 9, Oilschlager is doubtless courting that important off-year-election youth-vote -- even if that means going to the Patch and signifying to the kids that you speaks their lingo:

College of Lake County is an awesome place and I want to keep it that way.
Barbara D. Oilschlager: College of Lake County Board Candidate

A public statement like that is hard to top -- but Oilschlager also told the Patch:

The most important challenge is to remain fiscally sound. Without fiscal stability, not much else is possible. One of the fiscal challenges include pension reform. CLC is a very labor intensive entity where anywhere from 74 percent to 76 percent of our budget goes to salary and benefits. If the state were to push the entire pension obligation on to CLC all at once, our first year obligation alone would be about $8 million. Another challenge for us will be the impact of "Obama Care." Right now CLC is struggling with a definition of what will constitute an eligible employee.
Barbara D. Oilschlager: College of Lake County Board Candidate

Even your LakeCountyEye can read between those lines. How awesome will CLC be after they lay-off all of those labor-intensive educators and outsource their jobs to China or Mexico or with web-bots or something? Triple the awesome? Quadruple? The mind boggles.

Some of your LakeCountyEye's fondest recollections are of times past spent at CLC: the raccoon coats, the hip flasks, the Model-T's, the ukuleles. And that was just 2012! The old alma-mater won't be the same if they turn CLC into an online teaching institution. Did your LakeCountyEye mention that election day is April 9?

Boola Boola!