Monday, February 18, 2013

Q the Eye/02.18.13

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How can you tell when a Lake County politician is lying?

Straight Man
Dear That's Not Much to Brag About These Days,

When his lips are moving.
Ὥρος HōrosHaha, j/k. However, there was one operative who got in the habit of doing a shot of bourbon every time he heard a politician lie. He died a happy man, your LakeCountyEye recalls.

Of course knowing for certain when someone is telling the truth or lying is a valuable life skill that few possess. If you are among the unskilled, fret not. It is a little known but well documented fact that modern science has made great strides in the field of tergiversation and now understands with near 100% accuracy why and how people lie. And so can you. One knowledgeable operative sent a helpful webwidget that your LakeCountyEye is willing to share for your personal edification:
Why People Lie
Now, one doesn't need to be a Biblical scholar to know that the Father of Lies is the Internet. Were it not for a finely honed skill for instantly discerning fact from fiction, your LakeCountyEye would not be your high paid & nationally read political blogger. Operatives can scroll down to the bottom of the widget to learn what the pros use to spot an online liar:
  • Avoid using the word "I" as much as possible.
  • Use negation, i.e., saying "not sad" rather than "happy".
  • They try too hard to be honest, prefacing things with phrases like "to be honest".
Erm ...

... heh heh ...

... cute.

For the record & in all honesty, your LakeCountyEye is not amused.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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