Saturday, January 7, 2012

Q the Eye/01.07.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I will be on the ballot in Illinois and many other states for a high elective office. I'm surging in the polls and now my handlers are demanding a complete wardrobe makeover and they threw away all my sweater vests. I like to dress manly, but in a heterosexual way. What should I wear?

Divested Assets

Dear Rick on a Roll,

Ὥρος HōrosSince it is in their best interests to see you elected to high office, you ought to listen to your operatives. As readers of this blog are sartorially aware ...
The Santorum Post-Mortum
Sweater vests may look good on some gents ...
but are not proper attire for a Presidential candidate.

Every election cycle is different and 2012 is the year of the Republican power shirt. Take a close gander at your front-runner ...
Your LakeCountyEye sees three things: checks, bold & bright. All of which will add up to a big W in November. Nothing exudes the alpha-wolf-virility that every Presidential candidate needs like a Republican power shirt. Just take a look at how the right shirt magically transformed one non-descript Illinois congressman:
Your LakeCountyEye urges that you get over to T.J.Maxx and right away. The sooner your closet is restocked with a couple dozen of these super-bad chex the sooner your handlers will all be singing Hail to the Chief!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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