Friday, December 25, 2009

Top 12 Days of Xmas

This holiday season saw a break in tradition at the LakeCountyEye compound. What has typically been the sound of raccoons nesting under the LakeCountyEye veranda, this year turned out to be carollers spreading their seasonal cheer. Your LakeCountyEye holstered the LakeCountyEye AK-47 (FOID #53177187714) and welcomed the carolers, many of whom turned out to be elected officeholders and party principals. (Some anticipated pay raises never materialized this year, so the caroller's cup was sweetened with a generous portion of your LakeCountyEye's finest 4th of July parade candy.) Had not the LakeCountyEye cell-phone camera already been on assignment, streaming the live video feed at the neighborhood Cash America, a YouTube of the festivities would have been forthcoming.

Making a virtue of necessity, this will be strictly an oldskool flashback. The highlights of a lively LakeCountyEye holiday eve:

Eighth Congressional District candidate, Maria Rodriguez, sang Paul Simon's The 53rd Street Bypass Song ...
Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last

Dan Seals, hoping a third time's the charm in the Tenth Congressional District, performed Len Barry's 60s-era bubblegum number, 1-2-3 ...
It's easy (it's so easy)
Like taking candy from a baby

Linda Pedersen, JoAnn Osmond's legislative aide, chose the Van Heusen/Cahn torch standard, Call Me, Irresponsible ...
Call me irresponsible - call me unreliable
Throw in undependable too

Mark Kirk, aspiring for a promotion to the national stage -- from Congress to Senate -- trumpeted his national security street-cred with the Village People's In the Navy ...
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland

Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran is rumored to be the next Lake County State's Attorney. Curran, a former Democrat and current Republican, rendered, well, the Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go ...
If I go there will be trouble
Si me voi - va ver peligro
And if I stay it will be double
Si me quedo es doble

Terry Link, who helped remove the second hand smoke from the restaurants and the second guessing from traffic light enforcement, is now candidate for Springfield second banana. Link reached all the way back to the Ziegfeld Follies of 1921 for Second Hand Rose (From Second Avenue) ...
Even my pajamas when I don them
Have somebody else's initials on them

Finally, everyone including your LakeCountyEye joined together for a merrie olde holiday heirloom ...

On the last day of Christmas, my true love sent to me ...

Twelve Duffies harrumphing

Eleven video-poker payouts

Ten boards a-sleeping

Nine Ant's simoleons

Eight mayors a-bilking

Seven Bobs a-bungeeing

Six Genesees in-layaway

Five golden things

Four Couvalling bards

3/10 Dems

Two tort reforms

And a goldfish in a ballot box!

Merry Festivus to all & to all a good night!


Nicki said...

Well done! Happy New Year.

Anonymous said...

Well done, but, seriously, Mark Curran for State's attorney!!!! Makes me shudder

Barney Baxter said...

And a Merry 2010, Nicki.