Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Withering Heights

National Talk Like a Pirate DayAn actual, unedited Daily Herald headline from an actual, unedited letter to the editor:
Traditional morality has weathered away
Haha, nothing a coat of whitewash can't fix.

Whether this is a bellwether that points to the withering of journalism in Lake County or just means that Herald letter writers get to draft their own headlines, is not known. Your LakeCountyEye observes that while spell checkers have all but banished the misspelt word from Internet journalism, they have created a new kind of faux pas -- the spellaprop -- a spellchecker induced malapropism.

With the unchecked proliferation of both online spell checkers and online journalism, your LakeCountyEye foresees many more future LOL spellapropisms coming down the pipe. For those operatives who cannot wait for the future, your LakeCountyEye made up ten hilarious headlines that sooner or later are guaranteed to appear in some Lake County newspaper or other:
Ten Comical but Authentic Headlines Recently Seen at the Lake County Newsstands
  1. Arrests Up In Lake County For Driving Under The Affluence

  2. Villages Crack Down On Loiter Bugs
    One Mayor Vows to Personally Take Out the Trash

  3. County Chairman Tolled: Route 53 Extension Will Be Costly

  4. Legislator: "Scientists 'Cry Wolf' Too Often Over Global Warning"

  5. Is A Levy On Bullets Really Attacks On Gun Owners?
    Sheriff: "These Are Not The Type Of People You Want To Target"

  6. Senator Offers Tokin' Support To Medical Marijuana

  7. County Board Promises Flood Relief, Also To Rain In Excess

  8. House Member Denies Casino Bill Would Legalize Private Gambolling Parlors
    "We Have Red Lights For That In The Bill"

  9. County Health Official Admits Malingering Doubts Over Flu Vaccine

  10. Gay Couple Repeat Marriage Vows: "Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky"
Look for your LakeCountyEye, driving under the effluence.

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