Block the Vote

Lake County wants $130,638 from the Illinois State Board of Elections:

State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity

The Lump Sum Grant is intended to help the County strike fraudulent voters from the rolls. To be sure, at 130K it would seem that Lake County has more ghost voters that it has graves. But one veteran observer says don't be fooled by the numbers, look at the figures instead: "I don't think there are 130,000 ghost voters registered in Lake County. That works out to only one dollar per vote!"

In any event, this ghost story will have to wait until next year. Because of the budget impasse, the check isn't even in the mail:

Local election authorities will lose more than $4.4 million in grant funds this year that pay for, among other things, purging ineligible names from voter registration rolls.
State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity

Princess Nudelman did not return your LakeCountyEye's calls.

On the Wrong Side of the Tracks

What are the chances an exploding oil train will explode in Lake County? One bookmaker told your LakeCountyEye that the exact odds would depend on the over/under. So your LakeCountyEye took a measuring tape to Round Lake Beach and observed the over/under there to be about 13 feet & 6 inches:

In fall 2015, what turned out to be the largest road-improvement project in Lake County history provided a Canadian National Railway overpass at Rollins Road, along with additional lanes and a modified intersections at Rollins and Route 83, which eased flow to an estimated 41,500 vehicles per day.
Lake County, IDOT hit with $7.1 million judgment in Rollins Gateway lawsuit

Haha, to build the overpass for the Canadian National Railway, Lake County had to seize property. The owner sued:

Lake County and the Illinois Department of Transportation must pay $7.1 million to the owner of a Round Lake Beach shopping center as compensation for land taken and other damages as part of the Rollins Road Gateway Project.
Lake County, IDOT ordered to pay $7.1 million to Round Lake Beach business owner

A knowledgeable insider explained how the Lake County Treasury operates: "One $7 million wrongful eviction lawsuit here, one $7 million wrongful eviction lawsuit there, and pretty soon you're talking real money."

Note to Railroad Ops: Always build your tracks over the road. Railway underpasses are subject to floods. Just sayin!

Mr Curran Goes to Springfield

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Daily Herald website:

According to the Herald story ...

DuPage County Board Vice Chairman John Curran has been appointed to replace the state senate seat left vacant by Christine Radogno, a Lemont Republican, officials said Saturday. Curran has served as a DuPage County Board member since 2008, most recently as vice chairman since 2012.
DuPage County Board member appointed to state Senate vacancy

Curran no doubt should be thrilled at his appointment to the State Legislature. By anyone's estimation this counts as an out-and-out promotion. Curran's tenure as a County-level elected official reaches back to the mid 2000's. And one does not often see a public servant leapfrog out of County government and straight into the Springfield Capitol dome. Your LakeCountyEye sends hearty congratulations to State Senator Curran!

Grade on a Curve

Some people would rather take clean-up detail after a catastrophic flood than be asked to solve a story problem. If you are that guy, here is this week's story problem:

An exploding oil train, measured from the tip of the cowcatcher to the tail of the caboose, is 27 miles long. And you would swear it was moving along no faster than ¼ mile per hour. How much time would you have to kill at the crossing before this train rolled by?

Answers must be submitted in a SASE. Please show your work.

SPOILER ALERT!

The correct answer is:

108 hours
(27 miles ÷ .25 mph = 108 hours = 4½ days)

Coincidentally, 108 hours is also the duration that the CN rail crossing in Mundelein will be down this week:

Route 60/83 at the Canadian National Railroad tracks in Mundelein closed Monday morning as work began on repairs to the grade crossing there. The crossing is scheduled to remain closed until 6 p.m. Friday, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation.
Repair work begins on Mundelein crossing

Note to Ops: This is why you had to learn algebra.

Missed the Boat

Your LakeCountyEye just rowed in from Waukegan Airport. And boy are your LakeCountyEye's arms tired!

Haha, If you haven't received your FEMA disaster relief money yet, the check is in the mail, your LakeCountyEye has learned. Or as the case may be, in the mailboat.

The delay is attributed to Governor Bruce Rauner's reluctance to declare Lake County a flood disaster area:

Rauner is getting trounced in the local media for failing to visit, fly over, make a statement — or even send a tweet — after an unprecedented amount of rainfall in northern Illinois caused flash flooding, leaving subdivisions under water, shutting down a major amusement park, flooding a community college and even prompting the evacuation of a local hospital.
Rauner stumbles on Midwest flood response

For the record, there is no truth to the rumor that Rauner fell overboard while surveying the floods and has been missing at sea ever since. That is because Billionaire-Governor Rauner did declare Lake County a flood disaster area, the very minute it became a political liability to not do anything.

Note to Ops: If a Coast Guard Cutter weighs anchor on your front lawn, you can tell them to call off the search & rescue operation.

Same Name Different Lake

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Daily Herald website:

According to the story, which is attributed to the Sun-Times ...

A haggard-looking Dennis Hastert can be seen in a booking photo released Wednesday -- the first public image of the former House speaker after his 13 months in federal prison for scheming to cover up his sexual abuse of boys. The image comes from the Lake County sheriff's office, where Hastert, 75 -- called a "serial child molester" by a federal judge -- was processed after his release from a Minnesota prison.
Lake County sheriff to electronically monitor Hastert

Sparing no expense, your LakeCountyEye conducted a thorough analysis of public records and can now report that there is a Lake County in Minnesota. Also there is a Federal Prison in Lake County Minnesota. And that former US Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was incarcerated in that Lake County Federal Prison. In Minnesota ...

Lake County, Minnesota

Note to Ops: If Hastert owes you money, this means you won't be able to collect in Waukegan.

Lake County Bailout

Demonstrating a keen grasp of the obvious, Governor Bruce Rauner declared Lake County a disaster area. The News-Sun said:

Gov. Bruce Rauner toured flooded areas in Lake County on Friday as officials warned that the worst is yet to come in some areas, with the potential for record flooding along the Fox and Des Plaines rivers. While some anticipated the governor might declare the county a disaster area when he went to Gurnee around 10:45 a.m. to survey the damage and meet with local officials, he initially did not, drawing criticism from two local Democratic legislators and others. Hours later, at about 5 p.m., Rauner reversed course, issuing the disaster declaration not only for Lake but for Kane and McHenry counties as well.
After tour of flooding, Rauner declares Lake, Kane, McHenry counties disaster areas

Illinois Billionaire-Governor Rauner was not quite as stingy in the past when it came to doling out the flood disaster declarations, as this 2016 press release attests:

A state disaster declaration makes a wide variety of state resources available that can help communities respond and recover from flooding. Such resources include sandbags, sand, pumps, trucks, inmate crews and other assistance to ensure public safety.
Governor Rauner Adds 11 Counties to State Disaster Proclamation for Flooding

Note to Ops: do not try to be reimbursed for repairs to your leaky cabin in the Dells.

To be sure, along with the great power of a disaster declaration comes great responsibility. Declaring Lake County a disaster area has consequences -- consequences mandated by the State of Illinois, and having impacts as far-reaching as they are wide. Well, no more than 10 of them, by your LakeCountyEye's count:

Spoiler Alert: What to Expect When Lake County is Declared a Flood Disaster Area

Illinois Beach State Park will be moved to McHenry County. Scoop the Loop host to classic Land Yachts as well as Sea Yachts. All wrongful convictions henceforth decided under Maritime Law. Lake County sinkholes will be registered as inland lakes. The Race to Mackinac Island to start from Hawthorn Woods. Asian carp are now eligible to vote. No more jokes about why it's called Port Barrington. The Lake County Joint Action Water Agency would be rebranded as the Lake County Water Abatement District. Goodbye: Route 53 Extension Hello: Route 53 Suspension Bridge Lake County will be renamed: No-Wake County

Look for your LakeCountyEye dowsing near you.

Flight from Liquidity

If the mission of the Lake County Joint Action Water Agency is to bring Lake Michigan water to the homes of Lake County, it may be time to rethink that mission. As of late, most Lake County homes are under Lake Michigan.

Haha, Illinois Billionaire/Governor Bruce Rauner found time to be in Lake County today. Your LakeCountyEye got this snapshot of the Governor surveying the floodwaters:

You've been served, Gov. Rauner

While the Governor was earning his sea legs, he may not have seen these Tweets:

"Lake County residents have been working to pick up the pieces after major flash floods hit the area. The governor has not declared a state of emergency for Lake County, so residents with devastating property damage and no flood insurance have been unable to get access to low-interest loans that help people rebuild."

"Today, the governor will be in Lake County touring flood sites. The devastation experienced by our constituents over the last few days needs to be seen to be understood. Clean up from this historic flooding is going to take all of us working together."

"With more flooding expected to occur this weekend, we urge Governor Rauner to do what Governor Walker has already done, declare a state of emergency and call in the National Guard to provide much-needed relief to flood victims. Lake County residents need this help immediately."
'Asleep at the wheel': Yingling, Bush call on Rauner to issue disaster declaration for Lake County

A spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "The Governor is an old-hand when it comes to filling sandbags. The Bruce Rauner Turnaround Agenda has been sandbagging the State of Illinois since 2014!"

[h/t: Crain's]

Damn Over the Water

There is no truth to the rumor that a leaky Lake Michigan water pipe in Grandwood Park is responsible for the flooding in Lake County. As a matter of fact the widespread floods were delivered by storms of global warming Biblical proportion.

The News-Sun got the scoop:

Torrential rains pounded Lake County overnight Tuesday into the Wednesday morning commute, with flash flooding closing major roadways, shutting down Six Flags Great America and the College of Lake County, swamping basements and forcing the evacuation of residences from Mundelein to Fox Lake.
'It just didn't stop' — flooding sweeps Lake County during series of storms

One spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "This is the third or fourth hundred year flood we've seen this century. And it's only 2017. The truth in advertising statutes may obligate us to change the name of Lake County to Flood County."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Water is the New Oil

Lake County got some new pipes. Has there been a spike in medical marijuana sales? Nope, these pipes disperse Lake Michigan water:

An often overlooked part of daily life in the 1,900 homes and businesses that comprise Grandwood Park changed last week as Lake Michigan water began flowing from taps, showers and hoses.
Lake Michigan water flows into new areas of Lake County

There is no truth to the rumor, your LakeCountyEye learned, that the water is for a new bottling plant that will truck bootleg, tax-free soda into Cook County.

In reality, the pumps are running dry. The Daily Herald talked water with Grandwood Park resident and Lake County Board member, Steve Carlson ...

he supported the need for a new source after the well system basically dried up years ago during a drought. "It's something we had to do," Carlson said.
Lake Michigan water flows into new areas of Lake County

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Lifestyle of the Party

Note to Ops: unless your lifestyle approaches the lifestyle of the rich and famous be prepared to lose your health insurance. Lake County Congressmen Peter Roskam and Randy Hultgren both voted to repeal your Obamacare. And you're to blame. That's because it's your unhealthy lifestyle that is driving up everyone else's insurance premiums.

Haha, the GOP figured out they can keep their premiums low by excluding from Trumpcare those who make poor life choices. And since your LakeCountyEye has never met an Operative who did not maintain the lifestyle of a college sophomore, they mean you!

Despair not, however. Trumpcare is all about choices. You may choose to pay a lot of money for a junk policy. Either that or you can make some existential choices, live healthy, and forgo health insurance entirely. Either way and whether you like it or not, the GOP will make you adopt a healthy lifestyle.

Despair not, however. Your LakeCountyEye has surveyed the best healthy-living clickbait the Internet has to offer. Not only is a healthy life within reach, but you can get there in 10 easy steps:

Ten Lifestyle Mistakes to Avoid in Lake County
	Don't Try Any of This ...	... Unless You're Ready for Some of This!
1.	Living Near the Route 53 Extension	Lung Disease, Heart Attack, Stroke
2.	Living Near an Exploding Oil Train Track	Exploding Oil Trains
3.	Living Too Far from Cook County	Muffin Tops, Bat Wings, Turkey Wattles and Tax-Free Soda
4.	Living Too Close to McHenry County	You May be a Redneck
5.	Jogging in a LCFPD	Ebola Transmitting Mosquitoes
6.	Driving Your Car	Lake County Sinkholes
7.	Getting Out of Your Car	Ticks!
8.	Fourth of July	See: Exploding Oil Trains
9.	Substitute Beer for Sunblock	SPF Zero
10.	Blow Off the Boss's Rubber Pizza Re-Election Fundraiser	Unemployment Insurance

Look for your LakeCountyEye living it up near you.

Boom or Bust

The Lake County exploding oil train did not explode in Lake County yesterday. In fact it failed to explode.

WLS-TV reports that ...

Emergency crews are on the scene of a freight train derailment in far southwest suburban Plainfield Friday evening. The derailment happened around 7:30 p.m. near Rte. 59 and Riverwalk Court. No injuries have been reported. About 25 cars derailed, police said. Police said about 40,000 gallons of crude oil have leaked from three cars. Firefighters have barricaded off the leak and prevented it from reaching the DuPage River. They are also taking all possible precautions to prevent a fire from starting. The Canadian National train was traveling northwest at the time of the derailment.
About 40,000 gallons of crude oil leak after derailment

The CN train that failed to explode in Plainfield is the same Canadian National line that crisscrosses Lake County:

One spokesman with his ear to the rail explained the misfire: "The train derailed in Plainfield and not in Lake County for the same reason Canada observes the Fourth of July on July One: Canadians operate on their own time schedule."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

The Road to Ill Health is Paved with 53 Extensions

Note to Operatives: If you are sick of hearing about the Route 53 Extension then hit the volume on your Beltone. That's because the Route 53 Extension will make you sick.

According to the Daily Herald:

Opponents of a proposed Route 53 extension into Lake County are seeking support for a study to determine potential health impacts of the highway.
Grassroots group wants health study of Route 53 extension

Along with being pancaked under an 18-wheeler, other health risks associated with prolonged exposure to a highway include lung disease, heart attack and stroke. And if to add insult to injury, no one living near the Route 53 Extension will have any health insurance, because the GOP is going to kill the Affordable Care Act.

Peter Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman), who voted to repeal Obamacare last month, was quick to issue a statement: "Voters can rest assured that Trumpcare will be a huge improvement over Obamacare. Under Trumpcare your exposure to the Route 53 Extension will be classified as a pre-existing condition -- a major benefit. Provided, of course, the Route 53 Extension gets built first!"

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Please bend over and cough.

A Door to Door Campaign

Ever since Peter Roskam voted to repeal Obamacare, he's been having trouble sneaking out of buildings. His constituents are now all standing at death's door.

Haha, Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has taken to secreting himself in and out of public venues to avoid contact with voters and the press. The press noticed, nonetheless:

Several congressmen, including Roskam, slipped through the side doors of the restaurant
After protesters gather, Rauner skips Republican fundraiser

What Roskam, a Republican from Naperville, does not like is meeting with actual voters, not unless he can hand-pick them.
Come out, come out, wherever you are, Peter Roskam

constituents of Congressman Peter Roskam — one of the most powerful Republicans in Congress – have accused him of ducking their questions. As CBS 2 Political Reporter Derrick Blakley explains, Roskam is now ducking reporters' questions as well.
Rep. Roskam Avoids Angry Constituents At Chicago Appearance

The closed door meeting comes just four days after Roskam's staff in his West Chicago district office abruptly canceled a meeting with 16 constituents who had arranged to meet with them about their concerns over a repeal of the Affordable Care Act.
Protesters gather outside GOP meeting attended by Roskam

Of course, if you're in a hurry and the front door is out of the question, there usually aren't many other options available. Unless you are Peter Roskam -- who by your LakeCountyEye's count has found 10 alternate exits to look for whenever he's in the sights of a reporter or voter:

Ten Doors to Watch for Peter Roskam

The Back Door The Side Door The Stage Door The Revolving Door Better a Door Than a Window The French Doors The Trap Door The Barn Door The Double Doors The Pompa Door

Look for your LakeCountyEye to defenestrate near you.

Love Goes Out the Door When Money Comes Innuendo

Everyone knows that if it is Thursday it is time to play the game sweeping the Internet by storm ...

Which Door Will Peter Roskam Take?^®

This week's winner is the Daily Herald. The Herald (who was all over Governor Bruce Rauner like duct tape on actual ductwork) spotted Roskam in a Rosemont doorway:

Tickets for the "Cocktails with the Congressmen" event at Gene & Georgetti steakhouse ranged from $10,000 for hosts to $100 for general admission. Along with Rauner, congressmen Peter Roskam of Wheaton, Randy Hultgren of Plano, Rodney Davis of Taylorville, Mike Bost of Murphysboro and Adam Kinzinger of Channahon were scheduled to attend the event, closed to members of the media. Several congressmen, including Roskam, slipped through the side doors of the restaurant, to the jeers of the roughly 50 protesters outside.
After protesters gather, Rauner skips Republican fundraiser

Sharpeyed operatives should note that Peter Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman) was seen slipping through the side door.

If you did not win, there will be another opportunity next week (and every week) to play ...

Which Door Will Peter Roskam Take?^®

Campaign trackers and Roskam PAC staff are not eligible.

In Your Case I'll Make an Exemption

It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that property taxes are due in Lake County. Two weeks ago. Oops.

While searching the sofa cushions to take care of the minimum payment, your LakeCountyEye came across a tip for reducing your tax bill. It's called a General Homestead Exemption, according to this Daily Herald story:

Homestead exemptions, granted for homes occupied by their owners, make up as much as 95 percent of eligible property in some townships but as little as 70 percent in others.
How suburban assessors discovered hundreds of illegal exemptions

And while you can claim the exemption for your primary residence, enterprising home owners are also taking the exemption for their vacation homes, rental properties, and most importantly Florida real estate.

While technically not legal, this seems a win-win by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning. Even if it did mean you would have to live in Florida.

Chicken Dance

Hindsight being 20/20, it is now apparent that Joe Walsh was voted out of Congress for not being extreme enough. And while there may be no second acts in life, the ex-Lake County Congressman quickly slid into broadcasting, where he is now a DJ. And (as his rabid fans attest) Walsh performs under the stage-name DJ-Walsh-Alt.

Note to Ops: Need a superstar DJ to beat-mix your next Rave, EDM Cellar or wedding rehearsal, and you don't have an unlimited budget? DJ-Walsh-Alt will have even your sleepiest septuagenarian tripping the light fantastic quicker than you can say gangnam style.

Catch these snaps of DJ-Walsh-Alt on the floor ...

Joe Walsh Holds Summer Shindig

... of a recent McHenryCountyBlog hootenanny:


"What do you say we turn up the music and kick up some fun?"


You put your right wing in,
You put your right wing out ...


You put your right wing in,
And you shake it all about ...


You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around and ...


... I wanna dance with you,
With you my Lambada, Lambada.
La La La La La La Lambada!

[h/t: McHenryCountyBlog]

Q the Eye/06.09.17

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Speaking for every public servant who has spent 5 years in the Illinois legislature, I deserve a gold clock -- and not a primary opponent. Objection your honor!

A Former Federal Prosecutor

Dear With Whom Do You Wish to Speaker?

Your LakeCountyEye firmly believes that if Illinois legislators were intended to serve for life, there wouldn't be term limits.

You are not alone, one Lake County favorite son finds himself in a similar predicament:

The first statewide project coordinator for the Illinois Medical Cannabis Pilot Program is planning to challenge state Rep. Scott Drury of Highwood in the Democratic primary next spring.
A challenge for Drury

Take heart, your LakeCountyEye firmly believes that whenever there is the political will there will be a political way. In your case, the way is to simply vacate your legislative seat and run for Governor instead.

To be sure, a state-wide campaign will pose challenges totally at odds with running for some local office from out of your kitchen. Totally. And you're probably thinking "anyone like me who ran for Governor is asking to get his clock cleaned." And you would be right. Don't expect to make it through the primary with more than a few hundred votes. But -- wait for it -- after that defeat, file to run as an Independent for your old legislative seat. With the ballot name recognition gained from running in a state-wide contest, you would be a shoo-in.

And you go back to Springfield where that gold watch is waiting. Tick tock!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Two Thumbs Up

Note to Ops: If you want to see Peter Roskam at a townhall you will have to first get a job -- a job on the editorial board of Chicago's leading business publication. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, sat down with Crain's Chicago Business last week for a one hour interview. In the video, Roskam confirms that legislating is indeed like making sausages -- he wanted to get out of there in the wurst way.

See for yourself. Slide the shimkus over to the last minute, at about -1:10 ...

Watch Roskam's interview with Crain's

Crain's:	Thank you for coming by.
Roskam:	YEAH IT'S GOOD ALRIGHT (Thumbs Up)

Peter Roskam subsequently disappeared faster than the Republican Liberty Caucus prescription Rogaine at the US Capitol drugstore. It is not known if Roskam exited by way of the back alley.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Townhall on Affordable Health Care

Adopt-a-District Town Hall with Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky

Join the Coalition for a Better Illinois 6th as they host Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky for the first open town hall meeting with a sitting Member of the U.S. Congress in Illinois’ 6th congressional district in a very long time. Everyone is invited to attend.

• Saturday
  June 3, 2017
  5:00 to 6:30pm
  (Doors Open 4:30)
  
  
• Fremd High School Auditorium
  1000 S Quentin Rd
  Palatine, IL