Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Bad Paper

... but the signatures are real.
It's unanimous. Everyone in Lake County has made the same resolution for the new year: To do their ballot nominating petitions right in 2019:
At least 16 candidates for elected offices in Lake County could be knocked off April 2019 ballots because of challenges to their paperwork.
16 Lake County candidates facing petition challenges
Why are these candidates getting their walking papers? To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Follicle Professor of Legal Hairsplitting at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, scientists have discovered that there are more ways to get bounced off an Illinois ballot," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "than getting your County P-Card bounced in downtown Chicago."

That would be quite a number, by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning.

"State law is very specific about how to submit your nominating papers." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "For instance, your candidacy will be in jeopardy if your paperwork does not contain the requisite $100 dollar bill."

What happens if the papers are not all in order?

"That used to be a capital offense." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But ever since the death penalty was abolished in Illinois, you now only get thrown off of the ballot."

Almost the same thing, opined your LakeCountyEye.

"Candidates will do anything to stay on the ballot." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I recall one candidate who did not have enough signatures. So he made a copy of every page and submitted those as well. When asked why he had duplicate signatures, the candidate said it was all perfectly legal -- those were people who were going to vote for him twice. True story."

Your LakeCountyEye believed it.

"Lawyers for Donald Trump," added Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "challenged Hillary Clinton's nominating papers in 2016."

Your LakeCountyEye did not know that.

"Trump insisted there was no collation."

Your LakeCountyEye had heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that it is much easier, anyways, to run as a write-in. You only have to remember how to spell your name."

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