Mortality Tables

Note to Operatives: When it comes to military-style assault weapons, you don't want to gamble. And even if you bought a Lake County Republican Gun Raffle ticket last week, odds are you did not win that fully equipped Smith & Wesson M&P®15 Sport™ II.

The smart money bought a table. A table sponsor at the GOP Gun Raffle & Dinner was guaranteed to take home ...

Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle

And all for only $2000!

The Lake County Republican Central Committee A-1 List would be expected to identify these table sponsors and new owners of that muscular Smith & Wesson assault weapon:

Lake County Republican Central Committee A-1 List

If you don't recognize the name, Howard Cooper is the Lake County Coroner:

Coroner's Office, Lake County, IL

Readers are asked to make up their own joke here.