Thursday, March 13, 2014

Q the Eye/03.13.14

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I'm just a simple minded Illinois voter who doesn't know anything about politics, but I'm as mad as hell. I want to find my representatives in Springfield but I can't locate them anywhere on the map. The Illinois map of Legislative (Senatorial) and Representative Districts looks like it was drawn by a cigar smoking manatee, buzzed on ibogaine. What can us simple Illinois voters do?

Eager Beaver
Dear Gerrymathers, Ὥρος Hōros

Is there a feeling more awful than knowing that, were it not for gerrymandering, your State Senator or Representative would probably be driving a school bus today? Well, don't get mad -- jump on the fair map bandwagon instead. Demand that Illinois's legislative maps get drawn up by some independent governing body, TBD.

The devil, of course, is in the details. The first thing you need to do is shoot a smarmy but humorous video that mocks the redistricting process. This video shows a condescending cool guy making fun of some clueless computer nerd with Asperger's Syndrome. Here, the Asperger's guy has been tasked with carving up the minority vote:

"I'm using C++ and a proprietary algorithm to carve up this Hispanic neighborhood in four different districts where they will have no electoral say."
The message is undeniable. Don't be like the Asperger's guy. Be like the cool guy instead. Which means be like your LakeCountyEye and start demanding that Illinois's legislative maps get carved up by some independent governing body -- like a commission with a redistricting app written in C++ -- or maybe a drugged manatee.

Also, be aware that the Illinois legislative map is a statewide map. Do not be tempted to demand fair County Board maps. County board maps are totally different -- the County Board redistricting process does not want to be reformed. County Board maps are always drawn up fairly and squarely:
... like in Lake County, where the Hispanic vote was totally not carved up four ways to deny them any electoral say. Totally not.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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