Sunday, September 2, 2012

Q the Eye/09.02.12

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I've been serving in Congress, nonstop, since 2009. I'm good looking and ambitious and photogenic. And I'm still not President. Or Governor. Or something. What's the trick for someone like me to get ahead?

Shocking Pink
Dear Peter Envy,

Ὥρος HōrosThere's no trick to it. Just follow the lead of one suburban Congressman who has served since 2007. This Congressman, who will go unnamed, is already his party's the fourth-ranking Republican leader, their Chief Deputy Majority Whip.

The trick to this still unnamed congressman's success is an old tried and true formula: raise a lot of money to help other Republicans get elected to Congress who will reciprocate by helping you rise up in their leadership.

There's no trick to raising a lot of money. As readers of this blog are richly aware, you can use your Congressional franking privilege to pay for your campaign advertising:
A Frank You Letter

Chick Lit
All those campaign contribution dollars saved can then be used to support the election of other candidates -- like being the featured speaker at a fundraiser for State Rep candidates in Muscatine IA:
MUSCATINE, Iowa — The fourth-ranking GOP member of the U.S. House of Representatives gave local Republicans a look on Saturday at how their party is doing things under the dome in D.C. today, while a junior GOP delegate took them under the dome in Des Moines for a glimpse of the future.
Local Republicans raise funds and rally support
Haha, that was not a typo. This unnamed Congressman is raising money for State Rep candidates in Muscatine IA -- not Mundelein IL. He can already count on the support of the other Illinois Congressional Republicans. So don't expect to see this unnamed Republican Congressman in someplace like Mundelein raising money for an Ed Sullivan or a Sandy Cole any time soon.

You do the same and you'll be Speaker of the House faster than you can say John Boehner.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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