Saturday, June 20, 2015

Q the Eye/06.20.15

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I take umbrage against your recent diatribe against McHenry County gun owners and 2nd Amendment patriots. It was simply false to assert that McHenry County hospitals are reporting a pandemic of self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the leg.

When you wrote in A Leg Up that "McHenry County is populated by erstwhile bipedal unidexters with a knack for shooting off their feet", nothing could be further from the truth. Speaking as a McHenry County native and life-long gun owner, I can state with certainty that I do not lack any appendages below my belt-line. And I assure you, as an eyewitness, that this is true of every McHenry County gun owner in my acquaintance.

If anyone is a "one-legged human pogo-stick with an itchy trigger-finger" those would have to be the people of Lake County. And I can prove it.

The Illinois State Police have issued 3,142 concealed carry permits to McHenry County gun owners. With a population of 307,283, that works out to about 1 permit for every 100 McHenry County residents.

But Lake County on the other hand, with a population of 705,186, has received 5,179 concealed carry permits. Mathematically, it means that for every 100 Lake County residents, 0.7 of those have a concealed carry permit.

You read that correctly, each concealed carry permit in Lake County is held by zero-point-seven, or seven tenths of a person. Is that even possible? It absolutely is, if that means those people are all missing appendages.

I submit to you that it is gun owners of Lake County who are shooting off their feet, and not the crack marksmen of McHenry County.

And I demand an immediate retraction!

I Second That Amendment
Dear Second Banana,Ὥρος Hōros

Your LakeCountyEye stands corrected.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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