Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Stay Abreast of the News

hootersvilleCourtesy the Barrington Courier-Review, here is the LakeCountyEye headlight headline of the week:
Police are now investigating eight thefts of bras and other undergarments from the South Barrington Victoria's Secret store.
Still not busted: Shoplifters steal more bras from Victoria's Secret
Unlike Port Barrington, there is a town South of Barrington called South Barrington. Among other things, South Barrington hosts a Victoria's Secret retail outlet, a feat matched in Lake County only by Deer Park. To date, thefts have not been reported at the Deer Park store. Your LakeCountyEye speculates that no self-respecting shoplifter would plan a job that required a getaway down Rand Road.

2nd Amendment advocates say a repeat crime like this will cease only when clerks at Victoria's Secret are granted permits to concealed carry. They also say it won't hurt to grant concealed carry permits to the waitstaff at Hooter's.

It is unknown what kinds of bras were boosted -- in particular, if the holdup netted any hold-up bras. And, in what may be a let-down to the thieves, your LakeCountyEye has been told that the black market is currently blousy lousy with hot bras. These stories can't all be uplifting.

Operatives are advised to move along, there is nothing more to see.

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