Friday, September 24, 2010

Gator Brigade

Your LakeCountyEye will not be wrestling the alligators at the Shedd Aquarium any more. You read about it here first at ...
A Blink of the Eye: 05.10.06
where operatives were invited to witness your LakeCountyEye and some of the Shedd's meanest & greenest lizards go at it -- mano-a-mano.

But, bad news for nature lovers. As of today, the LakeCountyEye summer job -- shows at 10, 1 and 2 -- is officially in mothballs.

Just between us operatives, who hasn't absentmindedly pocketed an office item or two from the workplace? Even a three foot long & green office item? Well, who knew the Shedd would have a zero tolerance policy? The Daily Herald has the sad details ...
Buffalo Grove police capture 3-foot alligator
It goes without saying that an alligator makes for a nice handbag. However, in this instance it was your LakeCountyEye who got sacked.

Released from the grip of a now toothless confidentiality agreement, your LakeCountyEye can report, in an exclusive, that plans had been underway to locally build a pod of specially trained alligators. Attack alligators were being bred in an undisclosed Chicago River location for the purpose of ridding Lake Michigan of Asian carp. An 800lb gator can eat its weight in the tasty carp, and the plan probably would have worked had not the Northern Lake County Lake Michigan Water Planning Project threatened to blow the whistle, effectively deep-sixing the top secret project. Everyone knows how the New York sewer system has been clogged up for years because it is overrun with the fast breeding NYC alligator. The Northern Lake County Lake Michigan Water Planning Project did not want to find, under no uncertain terms, alligators nesting in any of its 45 mile water pipeline from Lake Michigan.

Much backroom maneuvering is expected to ensue. But as it stands, the Asian carp get to live another day. Or as they say in Rome, carpe diem. Nonetheless NCAA fans may not have to wait until January to see the next Gator Bowl. To put it in other terms, expect to see your LakeCountyEye bathroom lights lit all through the night. Just sayin!

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