Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Favorite Martin

Stassen was later best known for being a perennial candidate for the Republican Party nomination for President, seeking it ten times between 1944 and 1992.
Your LakeCountyEye assumes everyone knows that Andy Martin is the Harold Stassen of Illinois politics. Martin has probably run for US Senate as many times, and is running again in the Republican primary for Obama's seat, the one being kept warm by Roland Burris. Given his past, Martin no-doubt is engaged in promoting Andy Martin and whatever products and services he has for sale, and overall might charitably be described as a missing link in the political food chain.

So your LakeCountyEye considered it a dubious honor to discover that Martin is a fan of the Eye. Well, more precisely, Martin's Senate campaign has been spamming your LakeCountyEye with what seems like daily press releases. OK, that doesn't necessarily mean Martin reads the blog. But wait, take a looksee at the call-out on his latest presser:
Has Mark Kirk become the "Hamlet" of Illinois politics?
Well could there be more convincing proof? Your LakeCountyEye thinks not. Not only does Martin read the blog, but he steals our ideas. LOL

All of this is a roundabout way of explaining how your LakeCountyEye came to be reading Martin's press release this morning. And a remarkable presser it is. So jam-packed it is with LOLZ (intended & unintended) that your LakeCountyEye is a new convert.

Just one example. The presser is pretty much a 500 word attack on Mark Kirk. More to the point, an attack on Kirk's presumed US Senate candidacy.

Here's the set up from Martin's press release:
Martin is launching "Kirk Week" to attack Representative Mark Kirk on Kirk's political record. "There will be no personal or family smears against Kirk from me," says Martin.
Hmm, no personal attacks? A refreshing change in tactics for Martin? Well ... keep reading:
Kirk may have been distracted by his recent divorce, but if a simple family matter throws him off track, how can he stand the stress and struggle of a statewide campaign?
And then read some more:
Obama smeared his Democratic primary opponent in 2004 with marital woes. He smeared Jack Ryan, his original 2004 opponent with Ryan's 'sexless' sex scandal. More marital muck. He was gearing up in 2008 to smear Senator John McCain with McCain's marital history. Can Kirk expect his divorce to become an issue? Obama is addicted to smearing opponents with marital dirt. Hello?
Hello Kitty -- meow.

And that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg -- this presser is the funniest thing to hit Illinois politics since Alan Keyes. One cannot buy comedy of this quality. Take it from your LakeCountyEye who knows firsthand how difficult it is to put together some semblance of decent political satire (especially when one's beat is limited to Lake County).

All of which is a roundabout way of explaining why your LakeCountyEye is breaking with standing tradition of political neutrality and will endorse a candidate for US Senate. That's right, Andy Martin, you got the LakeCountyEye's first (and maybe only) endorsement for an Illinois Republican US Senate candidate. Keep the jokes coming, Mr Martin, and you can count on the Eye's support thru Nov 2010. We'll even take a yardsign.


Nicki said...

My favorite part of his press release is where he repeatedly refers to himself as "internet powerhouse Andy Martin." What does that mean - that he has a blog?

Thanks for bringing this comic relief to our attention. He bears watching.

barney baxter said...

If I didn't know any better I would've assumed Martin was putting on a parody of a Senate campaign. Sort of like when Pat Paulsen ran for President on the old Smothers Brothers Show.