Schismisms

If there is one thing Lake County can't get enough of, it's pseudo-science. Local voters are jumping at the chance to teach their kids creationism in leaps and bounds. As reported on this blog ...

Creating a Stir

Lake County voters will have an opportunity in April to elect some creationists to their local school boards.

Its proponents portray creationism as a legitimate scientific theory -- an established scientific alternative to the theory of Evolution. If operatives are wondering why anyone would go to the trouble and expense of running for their local school board to get a rival scientific theory on the curriculum, the Daily Herald provides the answer ...

Creationism is the theory that God created the universe and humankind, typically as described in the biblical book of Genesis.
Candidates: Teach creationism in science classes

Creationism of course is code for Religion. And no op need wonder why someone would go to the trouble and expense of running for their local school board to get their Religion on the curriculum.

With creationism being taught in the schools, ha ha, don't expect your kid to get into Harvard Medical. Not if that kid writes on their SAT exam that the rhinovirus originated from an unguarded sneeze on Noah's Ark.

When creationism does become the established curricula throughout Lake County schools, other pressure groups will be emboldened to pack their own candidates on their school boards to propagate their own special interests. Your LakeCountyEye has polled some of these fringe elements and it's simply a matter of time before seeing any or all of the following ISMs on the curriculum at your school:

Ten More Special Interest Units Soon to be Taught in Lake County Schools

Rastafarianism Antidisestablishmentarianism Know-Nothingism Yellow Journalism Magical Realism Hooliganism Jingoism Bushisms Anachronism Fanaticism

Now even you can learn somnambulism! Watch for your LakeCountyEye, coming to a neighborhood near you.

Fact Check

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Albert Einstein said that, so it must be true.

John Patterson, who writes the political blog for the Daily Herald, demonstrates how a theory need not be inconvenienced by something like the facts. Patterson has a theory about our Governor, bleepin' Rod Blagojevich. Patterson says Blagojevich "never ever missed an opportunity to use an official state action to his benefit or advancement."

A pretty good theory. Except that Patterson himself points out that Blagojevich missed just such an opporunity during his Dec 19 Friday press conference. On that same day, Blagojevich pardoned someone who was unjustly imprisoned for 20 years.

"But imagine the effect if Blagojevich has used his national spotlight on Friday to announce the pardon" writes Patterson. This would send a strong message to the House Impeachment Committee. "A message to those who’d rush to judgment before his case has even gone to a preliminary hearing."

In other words -- and as Patterson ably demonstrates -- if the theory isn't illustrated by the facts, then make up some facts to illustrate the theory.


http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/1144

Now Mark Curran, Lake County Sheriff, also has a theory.

Curran, who was elected as a Democrat, recently switched to the Republican Party: "I am changing parties as a matter of conscience." Curran explained why to WBBM reporter, John Cody. He thinks the Democratic Party is the party of corruption.

Another pretty good theory, all things considered. That is, until Cody brought up ex-Governor George Ryan. Ryan is sitting in a federal prison, convicted on charges of corruption. Also Ryan is a Republican.

If Curran was phased by this inconvenient fact, he wasn't letting on. "That just shows Ryan was acting like a machine Democrat", explained Curran.


http://www.wbbm780.com/Sheriff-Mark-Curran-Switches-Parties/3497642

In Sheriff Curran's universe, apparently, if someone is corrupt, they must be acting like a Democrat.

Now, Einstein showed that we live in a very strange universe indeed. But just the thought of Albert Einstein somehow ever crossing paths with Sheriff Curran, makes my head explode.