Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Must Bust in Early May Orders from the DA

market forces
Honorary Lake County Republican Patrick Kenneally wants more, not fewer, nanny-state regulations. Kenneally, the McHenry County States Attorney, has mandated that local shop owners post signs which warn that their products ...
may contribute to mental health problems, including psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia, increased thoughts of suicide and suicide attempts, anxiety, and depression. Risk is greatest for frequent users.
McHenry Co. Dispensaries To Warn Of Mental Health Risks
Did Kenneally intend these signs for gun shops? No, they are meant for marijuana dispensaries.

Despite the fact that gun violence is an ongoing public health crisis, Kenneally is not demanding to see warning signs in gun shops. In fact, Patrick Kenneally, opposes sensible gun control legislation and has taken measures to make it easier to purchase an AR 15 assault weapon in a gun shop:
McHenry County state’s attorney files lawsuit against Illinois ‘assault weapon,’ high-capacity magazine ban
What up with that?

One public watchdog told your LakeCountyEye: "Everyone in McHenry County was home-schooled. So logical consistency is not a high priority with the voters there."

Friday, September 15, 2023

Drugstore Cowboys

smoke'em if you got'em
Those who observed Patrick Kenneally at the Miracle in Mundelein have been asked to notify the concert organizers. You were having some awesome hallucinations and they want to know what kind of weed you were smoking.

HaHa, the last person anyone would expect to see at an outdoor marijuana party would be McHenry County States Attorney Patrick Kenneally. He says marijuana has no medical benefits and users instead face risks to their mental health. As States Attorney, Kenneally
threatened to sue dispensaries if they do not remove references to the medical benefits of marijuana from their marketing and add signage "to warn customers of the mental health dangers associated with use, including psychosis, depression and suicidal ideation."
Medical marijuana users push back on McHenry County state's attorney's stance
Of course, an election is coming and being tough on drugs is a proven Republican vote-getter. But it should be noted that Patrick Kenneally is also tough on guns -- in the sense of being tough on anyone who supports reasonable gun control:
The McHenry County state's attorney on Thursday filed a lawsuit challenging the constitutionality of Illinois' ban on "assault weapons" and high-capacity magazines.
McHenry County state’s attorney files lawsuit against Illinois "assault weapon," high-capacity magazine ban
It's one thing if McHenry County voters are armed with AR-15 assault weapons. But another thing entirely if those McHenry County gun owners were also psychotic or depressed or given over to suicidal ideation.

Especially with an election year coming up.

Monday, September 11, 2023

Miracle Drugs

dead heads
That giant sucking sound you heard this weekend was a throng of pot smokers in Mundelein:
this weekend will mark a new experience in Illinois: a cannabis concert where smoking weed is legal. The Miracle in Mundelein, an outdoor music festival Saturday and Sunday headlining stoner rappers Cypress Hill, will not only allow but encourage cannabis consumption.
Miracle in Mundelein brings legal cannabis consumption to concerts in what could be part of an emerging trend
HaHa, perhaps with the assumption that Canadian wildfires would mask any incriminating odors, the Village of Mundelein gave their OK to a concert with open marijuana consumption.

Your LakeCountyEye has learned, in fact, that officials have submitted an application to the County for a new Mundelein Village motto:
The Mile High City
Not to be caught flatfooted, the Mundelein Backyard Chicken Association issued a statement saying they will no longer sell denver omelets. Instead they will be selling mile-high omelets.

Note to Ops: If you have a yard waste pickup this week expect a high volume of seeds and stems.

Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Pen and Lentil

It is quite possible that the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ observed Labor Day by paying a visit to his labor attorney. Why? Because the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ is not the only grand guignol creator on the Trib editorial page. The Chicago Tribune has been publishing submissions from the Creepy Cartoonist's Evil Twin™ as well:
And not only that but his Evil Twin™ is also stealing ideas from the Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™, like this picture:
Note to Ops: Is someone stealing your IP? Don't get mad get even. Submit your drawing of Audrey Jr eating your Evil Twin™:
Oh Snap!

Friday, September 1, 2023

Ask Me No Questions I’ll Tell You No Lies

If the #1 rule every attorney must follow is "never ask a question you don't know the answer to" then the Lake County Gazette may be Rudy Giuliani. An actual unretouched screencap of headlines from Lake County's #1 fakenews source, the Lake County Gazette:
Note to Ops: If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Don't Have a Cow

Der Ring des Nibelungen
Has your B.S. detector been chirping lately? At random intervals? Those may be false alarms:
Barrington Hills police are urging caution and asking for the public's help in locating a stray bull that was last seen in the area of Route 62 and Old Sutton Road.
Barrington Hills police warn of stray bull near Route 62 and Old Sutton Road
Barefoot runners are being asked to exercise extreme caution.

A spokesman for Tyson the Bison said that "Mr Bison's lawyer has spoken to the Sheriff and at present Mr Bison is not a suspect in the case".

Note to Ops: No sacred cows were harmed in the production of this story.

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

White is the New Black

Pop Quiz! Put on your thinking caps:
Question: Are you a white guy?
Don't know? The McHenryCountyBlog posted some guidelines from the National Museum of African American History and Culture:

Which begs the question: Are the tinfoil theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog white guys? Let's find out ...

The McHenryCountyBlog would prefer to have a two-tiered justice system:
White guys, however, think no man is above the law:
The McHenryCountyBlog are COVID anti-vaxxers:
The McHenryCountyBlog are also global-warming deniers:
White guys, however, believe in science:
The evidence is irrefutable: There may not be any white guys at the McHenryCountyBlog!

Friday, August 18, 2023

Illiberal Education

Note to Ops: Is your organization losing elections year-in and year-out? And you get stuck with the blame every time? Then why not hand the reins over to outside political consultants? And they can start taking the blame.

HaHa, a PAC from Washington DC will be parachuting into Lake County. Their mission is to "teach conservatives of all ages how to succeed in politics, government, and the media". Specifically, they want to teach you how to get elected:
Candidates are encouraged to attend the unit on how to fundraise:
... because that is a skill you will need:

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Bucks to Buckeyes

Gotta be in it to win it.
Fun fact: Pennsylvania is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh separated by Alabama. But did you know that the Midwest is Illinois and Ohio separated by Indiana?

HaHa, Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein is at it again. Uihlein had been observed donating more than $1 million to the political campaign of Florida Man Ron DeSantis. And now $4 million has been pumped into Ohio, to oppose abortion rights:
New campaign finance records show Illinois Republican megadonor Richard Uihlein is funding the bulk of the campaign aimed at thwarting a constitutional amendment on abortion in Ohio.
GOP megadonor pours millions into effort to hinder Ohio abortion amendment
Note to Ops: Are there any Republicans left in Illinois? If you happen to come across one, be sure to let Richard Uihlein know. That way he won't need to funnel his money out of state any longer.

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Trojan Mouse

Lake County favorite son Ron DeSantis ...
Ron DeSantis in Illinois!!
is a candidate for President.

Sources tell your LakeCountyEye that the campaign committee -- Ron DeSantis for President -- is being run like a mickey mouse operation. A fair assessment? Lake County moneybags Richard Uihlein is betting not:
A billionaire couple from Lake Forest who backed Donald Trump's previous presidential campaigns is supporting Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' bid for the White House in 2024. Richard and Elizabeth Uihlein each gave the pro-DeSantis Never Back Down super PAC $1 million this spring
Once Trump supporters, billionaire Uihleins now spending millions to help DeSantis
Lake County Republicans are asked to show their support for Ron DeSantis by stocking up on Disney merch, direct from ULINE:
Note to Ops: Sooner or later everyone works for The Mouse.

Sunday, August 6, 2023

Hit the High Notes

That haze that is everywhere in the air may not be smoke from the Canadian wildfires:
Mundelein is preparing to host a music festival purported to be the first in the state to allow on-site cannabis consumption. The Miracle at Mundelein will be hosted across the street from Rise, the village's lone dispensary, at 1325 Armour Blvd., Sept. 9-10. Attendees will be allowed to bring cannabis they purchased at an Illinois dispensary
Legal weed at outdoor concert? Mundelein prepares for purportedly state's first to allow it
A significant portion of attendees aren't expected to show up until 4/20 -- so there should be plenty of parking available on festival days.

It is not known if Chief Keef has agreed yet to headline the festival.

If you have volunteered to help clean up after the festival, you are asked to bring your own leaf blower. This request does not apply to Lake Bluff residents.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. There's nothing more to see here. Keep rolling.

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Foreign Legion

well that stinks
There is an old saying in Lake County: "I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Republican."

HaHa, GOP Presidential frontrunner Ron DeSantis is mad enough to eat nails over one recently passed Illinois law:
A new bill allowing eligible non-U.S. citizens in Illinois to become police officers was signed into law by Governor J. B. Pritzker on Friday, amid criticism from some Republican lawmakers.
Fact Check: Can Illegal Immigrants Now Become Police Officers in Illinois?
What's the hoo-ha all about? DeSantis says ...
"Illinois is now letting illegal aliens become police officers."
Pritzker: DeSantis 'isn't smart enough to be president'
Illinois GOP Congressmen Lauren Boebert and Mary Miller are both mad enough to kick a cat, as well:
Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) and Rep. Mary Miller (R-Ill.) are among the conservative lawmakers criticizing the new law.
Pritzker: DeSantis 'isn't smart enough to be president'
And then there is Lake County backbench Representative, Martin McLaughlin.  How mad is McLaughlin? Mad enough to have voted for the bill:
Rep. McLaughlin votes to allow noncitizens to become Illinois police officers
What up with that?

One spokesman insisted the GOP is still a unified party in Illinois: "We're only looking out for your interests. Let's say you're on Route 14 and the police nab you for speeding. All you have to do is make a citizen's arrest, and hand that cop over to the INS. And, waa-laa, no more speeding ticket."

Friday, July 28, 2023

Blast Shields

Question of the day:
When in Lake Bluff, what do you say to a pickleball player?
See you in court.
HaHa, the legal guns are out in Lake Bluff and the target is pickleball:
The use of pickleball courts in Lake Bluff's Blair Park has ignited a contentious battle between the village and the Park District, with both sides appearing to dig in for a protracted fight. In a dispute stemming from a noise complaint coming from play on pickleball courts, the two government entities are at odds whether the Park District acted within its authority to operate the courts, and whether village approval was required for the conversion from tennis to pickleball courts.
Lake Bluff, Park District at odds over pickleball courts; 'We have to enforce the zoning code'
Along with noisy pickleball, the Village of Lake Bluff has also banned noisy leaf blowers:
Following a regional examination of the issue with participation from many North Shore communities, the Lake Bluff board instituted the seasonal ban earlier this year as the use of gas-powered leaf blowers have generated environmental concerns and the noise they make is considered an irritant by some.
Lake Bluff denies leaf-blower exemption for prominent local couple; 'We take great pride in the appearance of this property'
All that peace and quiet in Lake Bluff no doubt made it easier to hear all of the gunfire coming from neighboring Lake Forest. Where the Shields Township GOP held a social, with open-range target shooting:
Note to Ops: Are there little ones running around? Then make sure all of your firearms are equipped with child safety locks!

Sunday, July 23, 2023

What the Dickens was That?

Has the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist been inhaling too much Canadian wildfire smoke? The Chicago Tribune (a family publication) syndicated this drawing from the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™:
Readers were left with the grim task of putting a name to the picture:
A spokesman for Cthulhu says the picture looks nothing like him.

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Leaves for Greener Pastures

Is that a leaf blower in your pocket?
Much to the chagrin of Lake County moneybags Dick Uihlein, nothing in the Village of Lake Bluff blows:
The Lake Bluff Village Board has denied a request by a prominent local couple, known for making large financial donations to conservative political candidates, for a two-year exemption from the village's new seasonal ban on gas-powered leaf blowers. At their June 27 meeting, village board trustees unanimously supported the recommendation to deny a request from Liz and Dick Uihlein for a two-year exemption on the village's newly instituted seasonal prohibition of gas-powered leaf blowers — which runs from May 15 to Sept. 30 — at their home in Lake Bluff.
Lake Bluff denies leaf-blower exemption for prominent local couple; ‘We take great pride in the appearance of this property’
Note to Ops: Does City Hall fail to pay you your proper respect? Well, don't get mad, get even. Your village trustees aren't being paid anything to pass those onerous ordinances, and there is a reason for it. That's because the system is set up to encourage rich and powerful guys, as well as local business interests, to get stooges elected to their city councils. And then those stooges can pass onerous ordinances more to your liking.

It's as simple as selling shipping supplies in an age of on-line marketing. Just sayin!