Sunday, December 5, 2021

OMG Omicron

With great power comes great responsibility.
Note to Ops: Run for your lives. The Omicron Variant is coming:
As Lake County awaits first omicron variant case, health officials suggest everyone ‘continue using the same precautions we have been using all along’
One public safety expert told your LakeCountyEye: "Make no mistake, the Omicron Variant is dangerous. But this is no Thanos or Dormammu. As far as Marvel Villains go, I'd rank Omicron Variant somewhere between Doctor Octopus and Green Goblin. No need to call a Spiderman or Wolverine. Captain America would be able to clobber an Omicron Variant."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Motivated Seller

It looks like your LakeCountyEye will not have Joe Walsh to kick around any more:
Former U.S. Rep Joe Walsh sells Mundelein home for $685,000
Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh got notoriety in the early 2010s when he exposed Lake County to the Paranoid Style in American Politics:

Rep. Joe Walsh yells at his constituents
One long-time political scientist told your LakeCountyEye: "It's too bad that you can't copyright your shtick. Walsh would be a gazillionaire today."

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Tough Guy

He is a former anti-abortion lobbyist. State Senator Daniel McConchie now wants you to go to jail:
 
Illegal abortions are guaranteed to be on the rise this year. Dan McConchie says ...
this year rising crime rates will be even deadlier!!

Women who need an illegal abortion brazenly thumb their noses at the law. While McConchie condemns those who ...
work insidiously to lift up the lives of felons and those with no respect for rule of law

Women who receive illegal abortions are criminals who should be kept in jail. And McConchie strongly opposes ...
efforts to allow prisoners to walk out of jail without bail

Lock them up!

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Turkey Shoot

I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold dead turkey.
BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving has been cancelled in Lake County.

Armed with an AR-15 military-style assault weapon, the Thanksgiving Turkey this week gunned his way out of the turkey farm.

The Thanksgiving Turkey was subsequently apprehended. But despite being in illegal possession of a lethal firearm, and despite admitting to the use of deadly force, a jury acquitted the Thanksgiving Turkey of all charges.

One jury spokesman said it was a clear-cut case of self-defense.

The whereabouts of the Thanksgiving Turkey is currently unknown.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, November 20, 2021

High on the Tokin' Poll

Buy Low, Sell High
Heads up. Is one marijuana joint enough for the Village of Lake Zurich? Maybe not:
Just two weeks after Lake Zurich leaders voted to allow the village's first marijuana dispensary, a new group pitched a plan to build the second.
The Village of Lake Zurich hears plan for second marijuana dispensary
By the same token, it looks like the Village of Lake Zurich might be on a roll. Village approval ratings are flying higher than a kite:
The village of Lake Zurich was given its highest marks yet in several categories by residents participating in the biannual community survey, with 96% of respondents rating their town as a good or excellent place to live.
Lake Zurich receives high marks from residents in community survey
What possibly explains a 96% approval rating?  Your LakeCountyEye obtained a copy of the survey to find out what residents are saying about the Village of Lake Zurich. All ten of them:
10 Most Frequently Heard Responses
to the Lake Zurich Community Survey
  1. Totally Awesome

  2. Rad

  3. Cowabunga

  4. Gnarly

  5. Most Excellent

  6. Primo

  7. Bitchin

  8. Tubuler
  9. 5 Yelps  

  10. Da Bomb
That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Smoke'em if ya got'em.

Monday, November 15, 2021

When the Going Gets Tough the TIF Get Going

the gift that keeps on giving
Note to Ops: Cue the snow. Santa Claus is coming to Lake County:
Santa will jump-start the holiday season when he arrives via firetruck Saturday night at the Deer Park Town Center. His visit coincides with the annual tree-lighting and fireworks display.
Santa's on his way to Deer Park
What is hiding in Santa's sleigh-full of gifts? A TIF district for Deer Park:
Deer Park officials may create a special taxing district to raise money for public improvements and to encourage development in its part of the Rand Road commercial corridor.
Deer Park weighing special taxing district on Rand Road to boost development
A spokes-elf issued a statement from the North Pole: "Santa made a list and checked it twice. All you naughty Deer Park schools, libraries and parks are getting a lump of coal this year."

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Creeping Stagnation

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:
"Number of teachers pledging to teach Critical Race Theory in Fox Lake stagnates at one"

In related news, the number of journalistic ethics observed at the Lake County Gazette dissipates to zero.

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Explosive Material

Boom Boom Boom Boom / I'm gonna shoot you right down / Right off your feet / Take you home with me / Boom Boom Boom Boom
The Lake County exploding oil train did not explode. And the Lake County ethylene-oxide cloud did not explode either. Nor, for that matter, did the Lake County nuclear plant, nor the Lake County mosquito abatement truck.

So, what did explode in Lake County last week?
There is no question many northern Lake County residents either heard or felt something Friday afternoon. But what it was remains a mystery. At about 3:30 p.m., emergency dispatch centers began getting reports of what sounded like a large explosion.
'It sounded like a bomb going off': Loud boom heard Friday in Lake County remains a mystery
Note to Ops: Has anyone seen Kyle Rittenhouse's ammo dump?

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The enervated theocrats at the McHenryCountyBlog are blaming the Democrats for the high cost of Medicare prescription drugs:
Note to Ops: Cognitive impairment can strike anywhere, at any time. If your prescriptions are too expensive, try this over-the-counter remedy:
Did you know Prevagen is made from jellyfish?

Saturday, October 30, 2021

Those Who Cannot Remember the Past are Condemned to Repeat It

Can I put you down for a yardsign?
A Halloween treat goes to the first person who can name this Illinois GOP Congressman who gained notoriety for opposing Donald Trump. You would be as likely to see him on TV as in his Congressional office. His far-rightwing Congressional career ended because of redistricting. And he is now widely expected to run for President in 2024.

The answer, of course, is Lake County favorite son Ex-Congressman Joe Walsh:
Joe Walsh raises 'White Flag' with new podcast
In related news, some unknown downstate Congressman says he will not run for re-election:
The time to move on 'is now': Adam Kinzinger won't run again for Congress in 2022
The Halloween contest winner may claim their Snickers.

Thursday, October 28, 2021

Bald Faced

Being that time of the year when the nation gathers to remember the dead, the Lake County GOP is celebrating Halloween:
Note to Ops: You are welcome to attend but your Halloween mask is not:
Now that's scary!

Saturday, October 23, 2021

The Fantasy Press

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fake news source:
"No new teachers in Deerfield sign pledge on Oct. 10 to teach Critical Race Theory"
In related news, no new Lake County Gazette editorial staff members have started beating their wives.

On October 10.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Park Your Drachmas in a Harvard Barn

Oh Noes Moto
Anyone who has ever seen the McHenryCountyBlog will not be surprised -- but the Russian Mafia has bought McHenry County.

A shell corporation called Optima bought the defunct Harvard Mororola plant in western McHenry County. Big surprise, the US Government now says the plant was not bought to stamp out iPhones:
the DOJ complaint notes that the Harvard plant purchase was part of the sprawling Optima money laundering scheme (including fraudulent loans used to purchase the plant in the first place).
A Ukrainian Oligarch Bought a Midwestern Factory and Let it Rot. What Was Really Going On?
U.S. prosecutors say the decaying plant was part of a broader scheme to hide millions in stolen dollars across the American Midwest.
Don't plan on moving to Harvard to find work at the plant, it will have to be demolished by the Village ...
the net cost for that, after salvage, is probably three to five times the city's annual budget. It will be a financial catastrophe.
A Ukrainian Oligarch Bought a Midwestern Factory and Let it Rot. What Was Really Going On?
Note to Ops: If life gives you turnips, make borscht. Don't tear down that plant. Convert it into a Halloween Haunted House. Dress up the actors to look like Vladimir Putin. Now that's scary!

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Kash in the Barrel

And Justice for All
What a difference a day makes. The last time Lake County favorite son Kash Jackson appeared in this blog, he was an Illinois gubernatorial candidate:
Wither Winderweedle
Now he is under arrest for threatening to kill two Lake County judges:
A man who ran for Illinois governor in 2018 was taken into custody Thursday and accused of threatening to kill two Lake County judges, authorities said. Grayson K. Jackson, who also is known as Kash Jackson and Benjamin Winderweedle, 43, of Paris, Arkansas, made the threats Oct. 7, according to Lake County Sheriff’s
Former Libertarian gubernatorial candidate charged with threatening two Lake County judges
One legal scholar told your LakeCountyEye: "Well, that's an unconventional way to clear the courts."

In related news, Lake County favorite son Mark Curran is a candidate for the Illinois Supreme Court.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

A Friend in Need is a Friend in High Places

How many times has this happened to you? You receive a total of $15,000 in donations from a wealthy family.

Never?

Well then your name isn't Ex-Barrington Hills Mayor Martin McLaughlin.

As readers of this blog are aware ...
The Friends in High Places Zone
over the past 5 years, members of the Sanfilippo family donated $15,000 to Martin McLaughlin.

And now McLaughlin is holding a fundraiser at the Sanfillipo Residence in Barrington Hills. Coincidence? Your LakeCountyEye does not think so:
Note to Ops: Politics is about raising dough.  This is the recipe for success:
  • Solicit funds from a wealthy donor.
  • Use those funds to hire that donor to host a fundraiser for you.
  • Solicit funds from the wealthy donor.
  • Repeat as often as needed.
  • Any excess money raised is pure gravy!