Sunday, February 25, 2024

Don't Bet on It

Don’t push your luck. Pull it.
Today's Question of the Day is a story problem:
Q: The 2024 Presidential horse race has left the gate, and Ron DeSantis already came in dead last. Would DeSantis have done better in that horse race if he had four legs?

A: If Ron DeSantis had four legs, he'd be working for Disney.
HaHa, Lake County Moneybags Richard Uihlein bet a million dollars on Ron DeSantis. And lost:
A billionaire couple from Lake Forest who are among the nation's top Republican donors gave more than $1 million to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' failed bid for the presidency in the final three months of 2023, federal records show.
Uihleins spent more than $1 million on DeSantis’ presidential campaign in fall — will they now back Trump
This would not mark the first time that Richard Uihlein dropped a bundle on an also-ran. In 2022, he gave $3,500,000 to Darren Bailey's failed gubernatorial campaign. And Uihlein, that same year, pumped $1,000,000 into an effort to stop a Constitutional Amendment -- the Illinois Right to Collective Bargaining. That ballot referendum sailed to victory by 17 points.

In related news, the Lake County GOP issued an urgent plea: "Please consider making a donation here in Lake County. We will have plenty of loser candidates on the primary ballot in March."

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Saturday Night Special Cartoons

The McHenry County man who shot himself in the foot was outdrawn last week. By the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist:
Will there be more mash-ups for the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ and the McHenry County Man Who Shot Himself in the Foot™ any time soon? Not likely. One McHenry County MAGA man told your LakeCountyEye: "They bus in their pen-men from Chicago to make renditions of our Second Amendment patriots. And they bring with them their diseases and their crime into McHenry County. We need to build that paywall now."

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Ash from a Hole in the Ground

beautiful clean coal
Question of the day:
Q: How rich is rich?

A: Rich is when you donate your Tesla to Kars4Kids because the ashtray is full.
HaHa, the City of Waukegan's ashtray is full. With coal ash:
As Midwest Generation seeks modification of its handling of coal ash at its decommissioned Waukegan power plant from the Illinois Pollution Control Board, it is reconsidering its earlier proposal to cap one coal ash pond and remove the other. Local officials, including Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor, have pushed Midwest to remove both ponds. State Sen. Adriane Johnson, D-Buffalo Grove, and state Rep. Rita Mayfield, D-Gurnee, introduced legislation in the Illinois General Assembly requiring removal.
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'
You can add toxic coal ash to the list of expensive environmental messes in the upper right corner of Lake County. Waukegan Mayor Ann Taylor said ...
the company has refused to cooperate with the city removing the pollution its coal furnaces have spewed for nearly a century. Waukegan already has five Superfund sites from other polluters in its industrial past, much of it along the lakefront. "The residents of Waukegan cannot bear the financial cost of yet another environmental catastrophe caused by a private company," Taylor said "This company is failing to address its environmental mess adequately. Waukegan residents deserve better."
Coal ash ponds the subject of Pollution Control Board hearing; 'Waukegan residents deserve better'
The Waukegan Airport quickly released a statement: "No, the Waukegan International Airport will absolutely not be annexing the coal ash for its runway expansion. Whatever gave you that idea?"

Saturday, February 10, 2024

School of Hard Knocks

CRTs are radioactive. Always use LED monitors.
How about a quick run of fantasy football before the Super Bowl?

This is the line up: Your quarterback is the Antioch Village Trustee who wants to direct school policy even though she does not sit on the school board:
Trustee Petrina Burman began objecting last year to certain materials dealing with gender identity being made available to students in Antioch School District 34. That sparked an investigation by an outside agency. The citizens group and Burman have since taken to social media to express their viewpoints.
Antioch officials want to focus on plans rather than gender-identity debate; ‘This is … a distraction from getting these projects completed’
Suddenly there is a wide opening far downfield:
Lake Zurich Community Unit School District 95 is accepting applications from candidates to fill a school board vacancy.
Lake Zurich Dist. 95 seeking applicants for school board vacancy
Is this an opportunity to pick up a seat on a school board?  Not so fast --  applicants must reside in the school district. This means that Antioch Village Trustees are ineligible and would need to find other means to exert their influence. Perhaps by waging a social media campaign against that school district.

Hike!

Monday, February 5, 2024

People Unclear on the Contempt

not to put too fine a point on it
Did you hear the one about the candidate who filed a nominating petition for school board? However, she failed to check her paperwork. And was elected village trustee instead. HaHa, true story.

One Antioch Village Trustee was so unhappy with her school district that she took to social media in a big way:
Trustee Petrina Burman began objecting last year to certain materials dealing with gender identity being made available to students in Antioch School District 34. That sparked an investigation by an outside agency. The citizens group and Burman have since taken to social media to express their viewpoints.
Antioch officials want to focus on plans rather than gender-identity debate; ‘This is … a distraction from getting these projects completed’
Things became embarrassing to a degree that the Village Board censured their Trustee:
Antioch trustees have reprimanded one of their own, saying it's time to move on from social media distractions and focus on village business.
Antioch village trustee censured for ‘disruptive’ conduct
Note to Ops: You can exert more influence over school district policy by sitting on that school board. And not your village board.

Just sayin!

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Thunder from Down Under

Where's the Fire?
It's been so cold in backwoods Kane County that some people are hoping the exploding bomb train can warm things up in their town.

HaHa, Kane County is building an underpass for the exploding Lake County train:
Things are looking up for motorists who suffer multiple daily delays waiting for slow-moving freight trains to cross Randall Road on the border of Elgin and South Elgin. Kane County officials have announced the county has been awarded $25 million in federal funding for a new overpass that will allow drivers to travel over the Canadian National railroad tracks.
Relief in sight for Randall Road drivers in Kane County frustrated by freight trains
One regional functionary told your LakeCountyEye that anyone craving winter entertainment won't need to drive through an expensive holiday light show. They will be able to drive over the exploding bomb train instead. And all for free.

In related news, Friday is Groundhog Day. Do you ever have déjà vu?

Friday, January 26, 2024

Flight Payment

it pays to fly
Did you hear the one about the Illinois County that built a bridge through terrain that saw no traffic at all? They paid for it with a toll both.

HaHa true story. Which may explain how this story happened:
one thing motorists won't meet when they drive over the Longmeadow Parkway bridge is a toll taker, electronic or otherwise. With construction nearly complete and the bridge across the Fox River expected to open later this year, it's now official that the span will be toll-free.
Longmeadow Parkway bridge will be toll-free when it's expected to open this fall after much controversy
Enjoy it while you can, however. One ostensibly regional authority told your LakeCountyEye: "The minute that parkway is annexed for the Waukegan International Airport runway expansion, the toll booth goes back up. It costs money to run an airport."

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Bomb Trains Bursting in Air

artist's rendition
It's been so cold in Lake County that some people are hoping the exploding bomb train can warm things up in their town.

HaHa, the Village of Barrington is building an overpass for the exploding Lake County train:
Drivers traveling through Barrington along Northwest Highway know what it’s like to suffer long delays as they wait for freight train traffic to clear along the Canadian National Railway tracks near Route 59. But relief is on the horizon. Work begins this year on a $94.1 million project to build a long-awaited underpass carrying Route 14 traffic between Route 59 and Valencia Avenue below the railroad tracks.
'Long awaited and longed for': Underpass work in Barrington set to begin
One regional functionary told your LakeCountyEye that anyone craving winter entertainment won't need to drive through an expensive holiday light show. They will be able to drive under the exploding bomb train instead. And all for free.

In related news, the Waukegan International Airport is expected to file a legal claim on the overpass for its runway expansion project.

Friday, January 12, 2024

Boom Town

boom and bust
Pyrophiles will not have to wait until the Fourth of July this year. The Village of Fox River Grove wants to blow up part of its downtown in April:
Fox River Grove is one step closer to revitalizing its downtown as the village plans to start demolition on a full block along Route 14 in the spring.
Fox River Grove aims to start demolition on downtown block in April
The Village of Fox River Grove will demolish 6 heirloom storefronts on Rte 14 to make room for a 5 story apartment building. The properties were acquired by eminent domain:
Fox River Grove uses eminent domain to buy downtown properties, meaning possible redevelopment but also New China’s closure
In related news, the Waukegan Airport issued a cease-and-desist order: "Not so fast, there, Village of Fox River Grove. The Waukegan International Airport shall be exercising eminent domain authority to seize that land for its runway expansion project."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Sunday, January 7, 2024

No One Ever Went Broke Underestimating Artificial Intelligence

Has the Lake County Gazette been downloading its content from AI ChatBots? The evidence indicates the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) got ChatBot to fabricate this story:

Who are these people?

Major General John Smith, possibly "(May 7, 1750 – March 5, 1836) was a Virginia planter and politician who served in both houses of the Virginia General Assembly as well as the United States House of Representatives."
John Smith (Virginia representative)

Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Johnson MBE RLC, might be the Commander of the 154 (Scottish) Regiment British Army's Royal Logistic Corps.
154 (Scottish) Regiment RLC

It's anybody's guess who General Mark Johnson, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is U.S. Air Force Gen. Charles Q. Brown, Jr.
Charles Q. Brown Jr.

Finally, the Lake County Gazette gave a H/T to State Representative Tom Weber for the stiory idea:

Who is Tom Weber? No doubt some rando that ChatBot pulled out of the Internet.

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Cooked Up Confections

Given Donald Trump's penchant for filing frivolous lawsuits, it should be no surprise that the Lake County Gazette has a story about orange tortes:
The Lake County Gazette asked one real person about pumpkin pie. He said:
Speaking about the significance of this day, John Doe, a pumpkin pie enthusiast, shared his enthusiasm, saying, "Christmas and pumpkin pie go hand in hand for me."

And the Lake County Gazette asked another real person about pumpkin pie. She said:
Jane Smith, a resident of Illinois, expressed her pride, stating, "Pumpkin pie holds a special place in our hearts here in Illinois."

And the Lake County Gazette (aka Lake County's #1 fakenews source) sent a H/T to Tom Weber for the story idea:
For the record, that is State Rep Tom Weber. If that is his real name.

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Santa's Coming to Town

Is there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about? The McHenry County Blog knows, courtesy good ol' Charlie Brown:
"Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

The tinfoil theocrats at the McHenry County Blog also want you know something else -- that a busload of migrants from Texas were dropped off in Fox River Grove:
Note to Texas Migrants: Move along. There is no room at the inn, here.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

A Republian in Name Only

Say CHEESE
The McHenry County man who misspelled REPUBLICAN on his nominating papers will get to run as a Republican anyways:
Misspelling won't keep candidate for McHenry County Board off ballot
Officials do concede there are ways to get thrown off the ballot in McHenry County -- even with a misspelled Party name. Ten of them by your LakeCountyEye's count:
10 Commonly Misspelled Party Names
Seen on a McHenry County Ballot Petition
  1. Repugnican
  2. RepubliConMan
  3. The GOOP
  4. The Party of Nixon
  5. The Silly Party
  6. RepuliThisIsWhyYouShouldBeInvestingInBitCoin
  7. The Know Nothing Party
  8. RePutinsPuppet
  9. The Stag Party
  10. The Guilty Party
Look for your LakeCountyEye at a hollyday party near you.