Off the Track

The exploding bomb-train has regularly failed to explode in Waukegan.

A panel of industry experts recently were able to identify the root-cause of the problem: The railway lines in Waukegan have long been abandoned by Canadian National ...

Canadian National Railway switches and sidings have gone unused for years and are an impediment to the development of Waukegan's south lakefront.
Waukegan eyeing purchase of abandoned railway right of way

Industry experts unrelated to those other industry experts said: "As soon as you guys pony up some cheddar, we can refurbish those tracks and get those bomb-trains rolling again."

EXTRA: Exterminator Extinguished

If Voldemort Vladimir Putin can be persuaded to end his war of attrition on the Ukraine population, can the South Lake Mosquito Abatement District end its war of attrition on insect populations? Like leaded gasoline, it appears that the insecticide truck is at the end of the road:

It could be the beginning of the end for the South Lake Mosquito Abatement District, with the Lake County Board voting 18-1 in favor of an ordinance proposing its dissolution
Lake County moves to dissolve South Lake Mosquito Abatement District, last of its kind in the county

Even though Summer is coming to an end, the birds and the bees have been observed doing the happy dance. That's because the last Lake County Mosquito Abatement District may be going extinct -- before they do.

No Ifs Ands or Bots

Don't laugh, AI wrote this joke.

HaHa, something else that AI should not be monkeying with is psychoanalysis. According to the Lake County Gazette, it is now illegal for the ChatGPT to dispense psychiatric advice in Illinois:

legislation prohibits AI chatbots from providing therapy services or representing themselves as qualified mental health professionals.
Pritzker signs bill banning AI bots from acting as therapists in Illinois

Fun fact: All of the content you read in the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source) is generated by AI chatbots that were trained in Russian Troll Farms. So, if the Lake County Gazette is your beacon of sanity, technically you are in violation of Illinois Law.

Trickle-Down Theory

Summer safety tip: When grilling outdoors, be careful with that petition you've been asked to sign. While Illinois nominating petitions must be numbered consecutively, nothing in the statutes say they must be fire-proof. The 2026 Primary may be seven months away, but petition season has already begun, thanks to a new law.

Odds are, that petition will be for a Democratic candidate:

At least 62 candidates have already announced their intentions to run for the five federal offices, 47 of them Democrats
As political petition passing begins, Illinois Democrats have flood of candidates; Republicans have a trickle

Both political parties have their own pipeline of candidates.  And with the Republican Party they add up to a few drips:

While Democrats have seen a flood of candidate announcements, for Illinois' moribund Republican Party, it's more of a trickle.
As political petition passing begins, Illinois Democrats have flood of candidates; Republicans have a trickle

One fact-based political scientist said: "It is no surprise that the GOP has only a trickle of candidates. The Party of Trump is a Party of aging males in decline and of perceived privilege. A visit to the urologist may be in order."

Gurnee Days 2025

Gurnee Days 2025

Curses, FOIAed Again

So, you got a burning desire to knee-cap the Deep State, but your name is not Elon Musk. Do not despair. Turn off that chainsaw, and fill out a FOIA request, instead.

As readers of this blog are aware, the Lake County Gazette had weaponized the FOIA by soliciting files from no fewer than 25 Lake County police departments:

Mob FOIA

Well, the Lake County Gazette is at it again, this time spamming no fewer than 50 Lake County Village governments with FOIA requests:

Lake County Gazette FOIA request sent

What does the Lake County Gazette want? They want from each Village, "access to all emails sent by the mayor or president over the past 30 days." They also want "a fee waiver, citing their role as a media professional involved in disseminating information."

Their goal is obvious: to rummage through your local Village's business while neglecting the fees. This is known within the craft as Sniff and Stiff.

The FOIA information obtained will, nodoubt, find its way back to the same Russian troll farms that concoct the content for the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fakenews source). Lake County Village administrators are advised to learn some basic Russian.