Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Ganja Line Starts in Mundelein

You Don't Have To Be A Star, Baby While three on a match may be bad luck in a vape lounge -- it won't be in Mundelein. Per the Pioneer Press:
Mundelein attracted all three businesses that were given licenses to sell medical marijuana in Lake County.
Mundelein lands all 3 medical marijuana dispensaries in Lake County
For the inside dope, your LakeCountyEye contacted the one party who wouldn't be just blowing smoke on the subject: Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Potted Plants at the College of Lake County.

"I don't know how many dikes there are in Mundelein," chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "but with three marijuana dispensaries, the town will be the Amsterdam of Lake County."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like HaHa.

"Ya," added Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "with all those new clinics, the Village is going to have to beef up its EMS services. Do you know if anyone has a deal on a used ambulance?"

Your LakeCountyEye seemed to recollect a fire-sale up in Antioch.

"Last year, Mundelein shelled out $150,000 for a new town logo -- one with a prominent orange M at the top." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi recalled. "Now we know what that M stands for: Medical Marijuana. Very farsighted of their village government."

Your LakeCountyEye was mucho misconvinced, to say the least.

"Branding is important, also, when it comes to marijuana sales." opined Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "One Mundelein dispensary has already trademarked a strain of cannabis they are calling Hawley Wowie."

Your LakeCountyEye could not imagine its street value.

"If you read the fine print, however" continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "the Village of Mundelein can host only one clinic. Those other dispensaries will need to set up shop elsewhere in Lake County. Some sites under consideration are Grass Lake, Highwood, Bhangs Lake, Volo Bong State Park, and Long Grove."

Long Grove?

"Convenient access to the Route 53 Extension." explained Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Of course, the secret to any retail endeavor is franchising. And medical marijuana is a growth industry. I can get you in on the ground floor."

Your LakeCountyEye would need some seed money. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?"

"If your Operatives know anyone selling farmland in Lake County, call me immediately!"

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