Sunday, August 26, 2012

Conventional Forces

the Love Boat promises something for everyoneGreetings from sunny Tampa Florida, the site of the 2012 Republican National Convention. Your LakeCountyEye hitched a ride down to the Sunshine State with the Antioch Rescue Squad, who will be on hand for the festivities.

While typically focused on the party's Presidential nominee, this year's convention buzz is all about Mitt Romney's opponent, Hurricane Isaac. Your LakeCountyEye has been told that Romney has taken a personal interest in tracking the storm, particularly as it passes over the Cayman Islands.

The mood down here, though, is generally upbeat. Gay Festive GOP conventioneers are cocked, locked & ready to party, and seem to be unconcerned about the impending storm clouds over the horizon. One Lake County delegate asked your LakeCountyEye "you're talking to the owner of the Libertyville Wind Farm -- why should some pipsqueak hurricane scare me?"

The general consensus among conventioneers is that predictions of bad weather are like global warming -- junk science foisted on a gullible public by the lame stream media:
The Disconnect Between American Liberals and Africans in Tampa's Methodist Convention
Nonetheless, your LakeCountyEye has learned that GOP prayer circles have been organized to pray the Hurricane away. Also, every conventioneer has been given an action plan to follow in case of an emergency. For instance, in the event of a rising storm tide GOP conventioneers are cautioned not to cling to their guns -- because that will only cause them to sink to the bottom of the ocean.

One notorious convention no-show, who will be high and dry this week, is Lake County's comical congressman, Joe Walsh. Walsh who was disinvited to opted to skip his party's convention, cited difficulties he would face finding a teevee camera in Tampa to talk to:
Congressman Joe Walsh to Skip Republican Convention
Chooses constituents over politics – Calls on opponent to do the same
A spokesperson confirmed to your LakeCountyEye that Walsh's opponent will be skipping the Republican convention as well. A major concession to our very own banty rooster, Joe Walsh!

In the meantime, look for your LakeCountyEye blogging this week from the same place where your home mortgage is held: underwater.

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