Thursday, July 19, 2018

An Easy Marksman

AK-47 through 12
Bad news for those who can't keep a babysitter. There will not be a children's table at the next Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner and Gun Raffle.

Ex-Lake County Congressman Joe Walsh had been promoting a program to arm preschoolers with guns, called Kinder-Guardians.  And gun-owners were hoping to bring their toddlers to the next Lake County GOP gun raffle -- where some lucky little shaver would take home a pea shooter or a cap pistol or a rocket propelled grenade launcher.

Your LakeCountyEye has recently learned, however, that it was all too good to be true:
Former Illinois congressman Joe Walsh joined a growing list of conservative politicians blasting comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's new Showtime series "Who Is America?" after Walsh said he got duped into supporting a fake program in Israel providing firearms to 4-year-old children.
Former Rep. Joe Walsh explains how 'Who Is America?' star Sacha Baron Cohen duped him
The same Kinder-Guardian program that Joe Walsh had been seen promoting on YouTube now seems to be a flimflam.

Operatives who had enrolled their children in Kinder-Guardians are encouraged to contact Joe Walsh for a full refund.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Joe PWNED

Shockjock, and former Lake County Congressman, Joe Walsh may be down on his luck. Walsh is now doing PSAs for the NRA:

Who Is America?
Walsh delivers an on-camera endorsement for a program to put guns in the hands of pre-schoolers, called Kinder-Guardians.

Is kindergarten too early to acquire a rudimentary knowledge of mortars? Joe Walsh doesn't think so:
"The intensive three-week Kinder-Guardian course introduces specially selected children from 12 to 4 years old to pistols, rifles, semiautomatics and a rudimentary knowledge of mortars. In less than a month -— less than a month! -— a first-grader can become a first grenade-er."

"Happy shooting, kids."
It is unknown if Walsh has a personal financial stake with Kinder-Guardians.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

The Real China Challenge Updated


Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
John L. Rogers, professor and legal counselor, will address China's aggressive acquisition of US technologies that impact this country’s military and economic strengths.
  • Sunday
    July 22 2018
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773-281-0378
  • $15
    (Students Free)

Saturday, July 14, 2018

A Kick in the Pence

Fiddy Pence
US Vice President Mike Pence was in town yesterday to raise money for Peter Roskam. Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam, on the other hand, was AWOL:
U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam is skipping Vice President Mike Pence's appearance Friday in Rosemont -- planning to be in Washington to take votes instead -- but Gov. Bruce Rauner will be at the event to introduce Pence, officials confirmed Thursday. Pence is expected to headline a fundraiser for Roskam and other Republicans in the area
Roskam, Hultgren to skip Pence event in Rosemont, but Rainer won't
Roskam had known about the Vice President's visit, officials confirmed.  Roskam could not attend however because he mistakenly believed the Vice President would be headlining a townhall.

Note to Peter Roskam campaign Ops: Waitstaff for the $25,000 fundraiser report an unclaimed sack of cash. Please hurry.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

25,000 Pence

QOTD:How many guns does someone take home from an Illinois GOP fundraiser for a $25,000 donation?
Answer:Ask Peter Roskam.
Legitimate businessman and US Vice President Mike Pence is in town to raise money for Peter Roskam:
On Friday, Pence is scheduled to return to the Midwest for an American First Policies tax event and a fundraiser in suburban Chicago. The vice president is advertised as the headliner for a fundraiser for Rep. Peter Roskam, whose district — carried by Hillary Clinton in 2016 — is the number one Democratic target in Illinois. An invitation to the fundraiser asks for a $25,000-a-couple donation.
Pence launches Midwest damage control mission
Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, no doubt needs the liquid assets to pay for some pricey, nautical-themed Internet ads:
If you haven't seen these ads, you need to sign-up with YachtWorld.

Note to Ops on the lookout for wealthy donors:  Your LakeCountyEye has obtained an advance list of those potentates attending the Peter Roskam $25,000 fundraiser:

"May I put you down for $25,000?"
Even Mr Magoo could see that this is another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Lovey was unavailable for comment.

Monday, July 9, 2018

Easter in July

The first week of July is a national holiday in Lake County, where the voters take a day off from work and hunt for Easter Eggs.

Your 2018 Easter Egg contains Lake County Chairman Aaron Lawlor, who has logged cameo appearances in many YouTube videos.

Last year, Lawlor scored a cameo celebrity-chef walk-on in this Lake County sponsored cooking video:

The Bounty of Lake County
And who can forget Lawlor's spot-on cameo Homer-Simpson-imitation in this classic Lake County paid-for video:

Visit Lake County Illinois,
Best Day of My Life in Lake County,
Illinois. Tourism
Well, Mr Lawlor is at it again. Of late, Lawlor has been actively pushing back against the movement to elect the Lake County Assessor. Can you spot Aaron Lawlor's cameo appearance in this Lake County Assessor video:

Julie Simpson for Lake County - "Elect The Assessor"
LakeCountyEye Easter Egg Hunt winners receive a free assessment.

Friday, July 6, 2018

I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO VOTE BUT DIDN'T!

Didn't You?
Did you know that 90% of voters when given an opportunity to vote for their township assessor, chose to sit that election out? Even more worrisome, there is another election scheduled, 4 months from now, on November 6. Don't people know that voting only encourages them to keep running?

If you are like your LakeCountyEye there is nothing you hate more than being governmental-body shamed into voting at someone's stupid election. The good news is you don't have to. Not if you have a legitimate excuse not to vote. Not to mention ten:
10 Absolutely Appropriate Grounds for
Sitting Out the 2018 General Election
  1. Fell in the Antioch Sinkhole.

  2. I'm Princess Nudelman.

  3. 3 Words: West Nile Virus

  4. I Don't Speak English, Capisce?

  5. Willard is My Pollwatcher.

  6. The Canadian National Train was Double Parked on the Tracks.

  7. Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran + Jeff Sessions = BFF
    ... Nuff Said!

  8. Totaled the Car on the Long Grove Covered Bridge.

  9. The 100-Year-Flood Ferry-Boat Shuttle-to-the-Poll Sank.

  10. The GOP Does Not Allow It.
Look for your LakeCountyEye trolling Lake County floodwaters near you.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Election Meddling

don't ask for permission
Suppose they gave an election and nobody came? If the question was solely up to the Lake County Board, you would never know.

A Bill sitting on the Governor's desk could give you, the voter, the responsibility to elect your Lake County Assessor. Currently, the County Assessor is appointed by the County Board Chair, Aaron Lawlor.

No surprise, Lawlor is none to pleased and wants the Bill, SB2544, vetoed:
Lawlor argued that the legislation was passed with political trickery by gutting a bill and inserting the proposal in it so it could be approved in the waning days of the legislative session.
Lake County Board committees back opposition to putting assessor's post on November ballot
Not to be outdone, two Lake County Board committees turned a blind eye to their own political trickery and passed their own resolutions:
Members of the Lake County Board ignored the taxpayers who support SB2544 and chose, instead, to pass a resolution opposing the bill that included baseless accusations and turned this taxpayer initiative into a political circus by recommending that the governor issue an amendatory veto on the bill.
LAKE COUNTY BOARD VOTES AGAINST CONSTITUENTS, TURNS TAXPAYER BACKED MEASURE INTO POLITICAL CIRCUS
One observer close to the ground said: "I haven't seen this many tricks since David Copperfield played Las Vegas."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, July 2, 2018

You Can't Spell Courage Without an Entourage

If you blinked you would have missed Peter Roskam.

Cryptoanalysts have verified that Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam was in Palatine on Saturday:

Palatine Hometown Fest parade draws a crowd, despite the heat
Roskam is in the picture, flanked on all sides by campaign volunteers. As far away as possible from the crowd.

Next Week:
Don't Touch Kanye
  • Never put your hands on the boss
The Dos And Don’ts Of Being Kanye West’s Bodyguard

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Research & Disease

If you went to a Families Belong Together Rally on Saturday hoping to see Peter Roskam, you were disappointed:
Arlington Heights, Elgin, other suburbs join national Families Belong Together rallies
He was with one constituent however, Dan Proft, host of Chicago's Morning Answer. Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, met the cigar-wielding Proft in his underground bunker and walk-in humidor:
Topic #1 of discussion was R&D, aka Research and Disease ...
Peter
Roskam:
"R & D on research and diseases, infrastructure spending, all of these sort of things are crowded out based on Medicare that is taking more and more and more."


[tl;dw]
ATC: Dan Proft & Congressman Peter Roskam (R-IL6)
Note to Peter Roskam campaign Ops: Cough Cough

Friday, June 29, 2018

Q the Eye/06.29.18

Dear LakeCountyEye,

My name is Jenn and I'm the Editor at Jen Reviews. I was doing research on ratatouille recipes and just finished reading your wonderful blog post: Q the Eye/07.02.09

In that article, I noticed that you cited a solid post that I've read in the past: Ratatouille

We just published a delicious ratatouille recipe complete with step-by-step pictures and detailed instructions. You can find it here: Rustic Ratatouille Recipe

If you like the recipe we'd be humbled if you cited us in your article. Of course, we will also share your article with our 50k newsletter subscribers and followers across our social platforms.

Either way, keep up the great work!

Warmly,
Jenn
Dear Warm Jenn,Ὥρος Hōros

Nice bot.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

This Stock Will Go Through the Roof

Your hot stock buy today comes direct from Lake County vestigial Congressman, and market maker, Peter Roskam.

The Background:
Peter Roskam is bearish on Boeing (NYSE: BA).  For more than a year Peter Roskam has been ...
urging the president to block a multibillion-dollar deal between Boeing and Iran Air, "the terror-supporting transport-arm" of a network that is now facing steep sanctions from the Trump administration.
Republican Congressman Urges Trump to Block Boeing's Deal With Iran Air
The Fallout:
Unless you shorted your Boeing (NYSE: BA) you lost money:
The chief executive of the aerospace giant Boeing downplayed the fallout from the president's decision to withdraw from the Iran nuclear pact, saying on Wednesday that the company would abide by the Trump administration's decision to cancel Boeing's licenses to sell $20 billion of aircraft to Iran.
Boeing C.E.O. Downplays Loss of $20 Billion Contract With Iran
The Uptake:
Aerospace giant Boeing (NYSE: BA) faces fierce competition for government contracts from aerospace giant Northrop Grumman (NYSE: NOC).

The Bottomline:
Peter Roskam says: These are unmistakably strong buy signals for Northrop Grumman (NYSE: NOC).

Northrop Grumman Opens New Illinois Facility with Ribbon Cutting and Reception
Next Week:
Peter Roskam explains the Republican Tax Bill which Peter Roskam wrote. More tax dollars going into the pockets of corporations means more dollars going into the pockets of shareholders!

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Stealth Peter

Stealth this Shirt
Peter Roskam surfaced last week, only to find himself in the Eighth Congressional District.

Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, represents the Sixth Congressional District. He was in the Eighth Congressional District last week at the corporate offices of Northrop Grumman.

It should be no surprise that Roskam, who does not like to be seen in his home district, wisely chose to attend a corporate fête in a totally different Congressional District:
"I want to congratulate Northrop Grumman on opening a new facility in Arlington Heights that will employ many people in the Sixth District," said Congressman Peter Roskam.
Northrop Grumman opens new Illinois facility with ribbon cutting, reception
Northrop Grumman is an aerospace/defense contractor and manufactures the Stealth Bomber.

Roskam, impressed by the Stealth Bomber, was observed making inquiries. He wanted to know if Stealth technology could be harnessed for other purposes.  Say, for instance, a Stealth Congressional Townhall?

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. No one to see here, move along.

Friday, June 22, 2018

Telepath Townhall

An actual unretouched screencap spirited from the Daily Herald newssite:

Northrop Grumman Vice President Mary Petryszyn talks to U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam about the company's new offices in Arlington Heights during a ceremony Monday.
Northrop Grumman opens offices in Arlington Heights
Is the photo a really bad photoshop attempt to show two people talking? Nope. In reality, Peter Roskam was communicating with the Northrop Grumman executive, from a remote location, using ESP.

This is not the first time that Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has used his psychic powers to communicate with constituents:
Republican U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam of Wheaton says he's no fan of "circus" town hall meetings and prefers a more controlled setting for town-hall-style meetings by telepathy, which he will conduct on Monday night.
Roskam says he prefers doing town hall meetings over the psychic hotline
One spokesman said: "Anyone participating in the telepathy townhall will not be allowed to ask questions. Congressman Roskam already knows which questions will be asked."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised before future developments warrant.

Monday, June 18, 2018

Talking to a Brick Wall

The last time anyone saw Peter Roskam, he was podcasting from his bio-secure underground bunker:

Bunker Mentality
At the same time and 500 feet up, at ground level, Parkland survivors rallied in Naperville for sensible gun control ...
On Saturday, the group held a town hall in Naperville, where Republican congressman Peter Roskam has been a consistent supporter of gun rights and has received donations from the NRA.
Parkland students aim to shakeup ‘detached politicians’ aligned with NRA
Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, was unavailable for comment. Embedded informants say Roskam had been quickly hustled to a new underground secure supermax location:

Join me in calling on the administration to revisit their decision to impose tariffs that will hurt manufacturers
Note to Peter Roskam campaign Ops: Reclaimed brick is timeless. Worth every penny!