Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Down for the Recount

Q: How many people does it take to recount an election?
A: Who's counting?
Haha, Lake County is recounting:
Discovery recounts move forward in Lake County sheriff and Barrington-area statehouse races
The discovery recount ...
will include precincts selected from almost every township. Townships like Ela, Cuba, Libertyville, Antioch and Benton had six to 11 precincts for review, while Waukegan will have 21.
Discovery recounts move forward in Lake County sheriff and Barrington-area statehouse races
Does that mean that they don't know how to count heads in some townships? Nope. That's where the votes are:
Note to Ops: When asked why he robbed banks, Willie Sutton said "That's where the money is."

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Internet Challenge!

You must use ink.
The voters have spoken, the 2018 election is over and certified. But, haha, not so fast, there. The voters have been asked already to speak again. Voters will have to step up -- and challenge their 2019 election candidates nomination petitions:
Two Waukegan aldermanic candidates booted from ballot
Voters have a civic responsibility to get their candidates thrown off the ballot. If not, the 2019 election will be held as scheduled. When the voters will then need to evade their civic responsibility to vote.

Note to Ops: Carbon paper is a dead giveaway that those petition signatures are fake.

Monday, December 3, 2018


Mark your calendars: Today, the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist® officially ran out of ideas:

Nancy Pelosi...again
Sure, that whole gals & gargoyles look was hep ... maybe back in 1979:
Did Jabba make you laugh so hard your sides Hutt? Haha it's another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Next Week: The Creepy Tribune Cartoonist reveals the identity of Nancy Pelosi & Michael Madigan's love-child!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Ethylene Alley

If thick smog is choking your air, blame the Route 53 Extension. That's because the IL Toll Authority has money to burn:
The Illinois Tollway is going ahead with a $25 million environmental study of a plan to extend state Route 53, even though the project is no longer designated a local priority. Last month, the region's planning agency knocked the controversial, long-debated proposal to extend Route 53 from Cook County into Lake County off its priority list. This means it is no longer eligible for federal funds.
Route 53 study goes forward, despite project's demotion
Any environmental study should note that the Route 53 Extension is to be paved right under the toxic ethylene oxide cloud in Gurnee:
Vantage Specialty Chemicals in Gurnee reported to another office at the EPA that during 2014 it released 6,412 pounds of ethylene oxide — more than either Sterigenics or Medline did during the same period.
2 Lake County polluters emit same cancer-causing gas as Sterigenics, but authorities haven't warned the public
... where it may be prudent to dig an underground tunnel through Gurnee for that leg of the Route 53 Extension.
Note to Toll Authority Ops: That ought to wrap up that environmental study of yours. Please send the $25,000,000 to

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Wear Pollution

This sign contains ethylene oxide.
Your LakeCountyEye has good news and bad news. The good news is Lake County does not have to worry about pollution coming from Foxconn in Wisconsin. The bad news is that's because Lake County already has plenty of pollution coming from Waukegan:
More than 19,000 people live within areas at risk from ethylene oxide emitted by a Medline Industries facility near Interstate 94 in the southwest corner of Waukegan
2 Lake County polluters emit same cancer-causing gas as Sterigenics, but authorities haven't warned the public
What does Medline manufacture? Wait for it ...

Hazmat Suits:
A local company is working side by side with many health care facilities to create protective wear for medical workers. Medline, a Mundelein-based company, is in high demand right now. They are making life-saving protective gear
Mundelein company's protective Ebola suits in high demand
Note to Ops: Make up your own joke here.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Blue is the New Red

That giant sucking sound you hear are the paper shredders working overtime in Waukegan.

Haha, despite having campaigned for votes by stoking fears against minorities, the GOP has become the minority party in Lake County. In fact, the EPA is reevaluating its policy of not enforcing of the Endangered Species Act. The Republican Party is near extinction in Lake County.

The results in the 2018 election are in.  The Lake County Board flipped to a 12-9 Democratic majority. Every Republican Congressman in Lake County was swept out of office. All countywide offices that mattered -- Treasurer, Clerk, Sheriff -- were turned over to Democrats. There were enough flips, sweeps and turnovers to weave a new toupee for Donald Trump:
With the last votes from the Nov. 6 election finally counted, Democrats have a majority on the Lake County Board for the first time in the county's 179-year history. And Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran -- who won office as a Democrat in 2006 and infamously jumped to the GOP two years later -- looks to be out of a job.
Democrats gain control of Lake County Board; Curran ousted as sheriff
By no means does this represent a total annus horribilis for the Lake County Republicans. After all, the majority of past GOP office holders have always been closet Democrats. These were candidates who knew they couldn't get elected in Lake County running as a Democrat. Expect now to see these RINOs try to -- erm -- horn their way into the Democratic Party. Note to Ops: The Democrats are going to need someone to run for State's Attorney in 2020. Preferably someone with a law license and experience at holding down a countywide office. Preferably in law enforcement. Just sayin!

The biggest loser of 2018, of course, is your LakeCountyEye. How are you going to top this?

Friday, November 16, 2018

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

The Russian Twitter Bots that generate the news content in the Lake County Gazette have gone bonkers. For bad girls.

Here is an actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Gazette, Lake County's #1 fakenews source:

School discipline: Which Lake County districts reported suspending the most girls?
Note to Ops: Girls Gone Wild on Blarney Island are now available on Blu-ray DVD!

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Fact Check, Please!

The Russian Twitter Bots that generate the fakenews content for the Lake County Gazette have hacked the Chicago Tribune.

See for yourself ...

Regarding the 2018 election results, Lake County GOP Chairman Mark Shaw told the Tribune:
Turning to specific results, Shaw pointed out that Republicans "managed to maintain the same number of elected officials from Lake County representing us in the Illinois General Assembly."
'Results were not what we wanted to see': Lake County Republican chair reflects on election
The Facts:
Lake County has 5 Illinois Senate seats. None were flipped.

Lake County has 9 Illinois Legislative seats. No Democratic seat flipped. But Republican Sheri Jesiel was defeated. And Republican Helene Walsh currently trails in the vote count. At least 1 and very likely 2 legislative seats will have flipped from Republican to Democrat in Lake County.
The Verdict:

Four Pinocchios

Regarding the Lake County board, the Tribune said:
Lake County followed McHenry into new territory, with both of its county boards now featuring a Democratic majority.
'Results were not what we wanted to see': Lake County Republican chair reflects on election
The Facts:
The Lake County board will have a Democratic majority. The McHenry County board, however, will not. It is not expected to flip any time before the 2100s.
The Verdict:

Four Pinocchios

Regarding the future:
Mark Shaw, chairman of the Lake County Republican Central Committee (LCRCC), said in a post on the group's Facebook page that local Republicans should still hold their head up high.
'Results were not what we wanted to see': Lake County Republican chair reflects on election
The Facts:
This one does not pass the laugh test.
The Verdict:

Four Pinocchios

Note to Ops: Don't let the Russian Twitter Bots infiltrate your news server!

Saturday, November 10, 2018

An Embracement of Riches

I know it was you Fredo, you broke my heart.
If elections have consequences then the consequence of the 2018 election is there are no one left for your LakeCountyEye to make fun of.

Haha, luckily there still is legitimate businessman and US President Donald J Trump.

Trump had this to say about vestigial Lake County former Congressman Peter Roskam:
President Donald Trump on Wednesday is scorching House Republicans who did not embrace him and lost election bids on Tuesday, including Rep. Peter Roskam, R-Ill. "Peter Roskam didn't want the embrace," Trump said.
Trump blasts Roskam, other losing House Republicans, for not embracing him
Note to Roskam campaign Operatives: Your do-over election is less than 2 years from now. That is not a lot of time to arrange for some video footage of the Ex-Congressman and the future Ex-President locked in that embrace.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Your Last Chance to Vote!

... early and often.
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that there will be an election tomorrow, Tuesday Nov 6 2018.

Who knew? Not your LakeCountyEye.

Early voting ended today in Illinois. That means tomorrow will be your last chance to vote.

Note to Ops: Will tomorrow be your last chance to vote?

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Roskam Resignages

If you haven't seen any Peter Roskam yardsigns in Lake County, it is not because they got stolen. No, someone is not stealing Peter Roskam yardsigns.

Instead people have been posting comments around Roskam yardsigns:

It's so common that there now is a website for posting comment signs next to Roskam yardsigns:
IL Citizens Ignited
And that Peter Roskam's old lawfirm has filed a temporary restraining order, to make them stop it:
NRA support for Roskam triggers a battle over yard signs
Election Day is Tuesday. There is not a lot of time left to post a comment of your own:
Note to Ops: Did your LakeCountyEye mention that Peter Roskam is Lake County's vestigial Congressman?

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Must Have Brains

So a paid campaign canvasser went door knocking on Halloween. On that day, he did not shave. Or comb his hair. Or wash. If his clothes looked like they were slept in, that's because they were. A homeowner took one look at the frightful doorknocker and said: "That's the best Halloween costume I've seen all day." The paid canvasser said: "What, today is Halloween??"

Haha, true story.

The prize this year for best scary costume by a Lake County career politician goes to David Stolman. Stolman's costume is called the Zombie Stare:
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, an absolute spot-on zombie makeup job.

Stolman is running for Treasurer. And despite the fact that the Lake County Treasurer cannot either raise or lower taxes, Stolman promises to lower your property taxes anyways:
Note to Ops: Make sure you see them drop that Property Tax adjustment into the Halloween sack.

Trick or Treat!

Monday, October 29, 2018


Answering the call of the wild, Lake County boreal Congressman Randy Hultgren migrated South this weekend. Hultgren traversed more than 300 miles of rugged terrain to Murphysboro Tennessee Illinois where he was sighted with legitimate businessman and US President, Donald J Trump:

Trump campaigns to eager crowd in southern Illinois, calling state 'such a special place'
Hultgren represents chunks of Northern and Western Lake County. Why would he travel far downstate to campaign, less than 10 days before an election?

Randy Hultgren was there to model the new Fall arrivals from the Trump CollectionTM ...

The Trump Collection
Note to Ops: Are you tired of being empty suit? The Trump CollectionTM is tailor made for you. Clothes make the man!

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Country Trumpkins

Legitimate businessman and US President Donald J Trump was in downstate Murphysboro for a Make America Hate Again campaign rally. Where is Murphysboro IL? Dunno. Points south of the Mason-Dixon line, your LakeCountyEye has been told.

Legitimate businessman and shorttime Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner was seen in the stands, wearing a MAGA foam hat:

President Donald Trump to hold rally in Southern Illinois, Gov. Bruce Rauner will attend
Not seen at the rally was Lake County's vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam:
Since being elected, Trump has avoided the Chicago area, where Republican U.S. Reps. Peter Roskam of Wheaton and Randy Hultgren of Plano face their own tough challenges in the suburbs. The president is less popular there than in many areas downstate.
President Donald Trump to hold rally in Southern Illinois, Gov. Bruce Rauner will attend
Undeterred, Trump dispatched an advance team to the Western suburbs, lead by his Secretary of Non-White-People, Kanye West:
Rapper Kanye West visited Pepe's Mexican Restaurant in Naperville on Thursday and after dining played pool at the restaurant's bar, known as "The Can." West came in to the 1272 E. Chicago Ave. restaurant with eight bodyguards and three other people about 2:30 p.m.
Kanye West eats tacos, plays pool at Pepe's Mexican Restaurant in Naperville
Speaking on behalf of Peter Roskam, your LakeCountyEye invites Donald Trump to campaign for the Representative up in the Sixth Congressional District. Peter Roskam welcomes Trump with open arms, your LakeCountyEye has been told -- Roskam would like to be appointed Ambassador to Taiwan after the 2018 election.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Guns and Guber

Shorttime Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner was in Lake County for Sweetest Day. And while money can't buy you love, it does buy guns. As in hired guns.

In an effort to buck up his conservative streetcred, Rauner posed with Helene Walsh and Ken Idstein:
Helene Walsh and Ken Idstein were last seen at the Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle.

Here Helene (née Joe) Walsh points to a big rod and some guy with an AR-15:
Here Ken Idstein is seen huddling in back with shockjock Joe Walsh:
Gobbling up the foreground is Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran. Records indicate that no one died in the Lake County jail on that night.

And after parachuting into Lake County for his lock'n'load photo-op, Bruce Rauner was gone faster than you can say NRA.
The End.


Just Sayin!