Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Stick to Your Gunsels

"zero emissions endless possibilities"
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that we're saying Merry Christmas again. So as a consequence, this year's holiday quiz will test your vocabulary.

The News-Sun wants to know ...
what word is best to characterize those who commit crimes, engage in criminal activity and terrorize neighborhoods and residents. "Hoodlums" used to be an all-around catch-all phrase cops once employed. "Perps" is another police-friendly phrase. "Gunsels" is quite dated.
Words can hurt, but then so can thugs and gunsels
  • Hoodlum
  • Perp
  • Gunsel
Now, your LakeCountyEye can tell you what a hoodlum is. And what a perp is. But -- huh -- what's a gunsel?
gunsel

Pronunciation
/ˈɡʌnsəl/

Etymology
From Yiddish גענדזל‏ (gendzl, "gosling")

Noun
  1. A young man kept for homosexual purposes; a catamite.
Wiktionary
Operatives are reminded, don't overdo it this Thanksgiving weekend. Go easy on the stuffing.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Rub-a-Dub-Dub

Build the Wall!
Does anyone know who Denise Rotheimer is? Not your LakeCountyEye.

But the sources say Rotheimer is a candidate for State Rep in Grayslake. And it appears that three men are running against her:
A financial adviser from Grayslake is the fourth Republican to declare his candidacy in the 62nd District state House race.
Grayslake businessman to seek GOP nomination for 62nd House seat
Do you really need this many men to challenge someone in a Primary?
  1. Bob Bednar
  2. Ken Idstein
  3. Adam Solano
Your LakeCountyEye doesn't think so.

Now, your LakeCountyEye visits the job websites every couple hours. And while jobs are out there calling for three men, none are for ballot candidates.

Ten, for those who are counting:
10 Three-Man Jobs
  1. Stunt Double for the 3 Stooges

  2. Waukegan Casino 3-Card Monte Dealer

  3. Grease the Skids on a 4-Man Bobsled

  4. Correctly Spell Triumvirate

  5. McDonald's Triple Thick Shake Q/A Tester

  6. A Full Cast for Two and a Half Men (Plus an Understudy)

  7. Out-Rush the Chicago Bears

  8. Mayor of Third Lake

  9. Give the Three Finger Salute

  10. One to Hold the Light Bulb and Two to Turn the Ladder
Look for your LakeCountyEye touching the third rail of politics near you.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Three's a Crowd

give'm a run for their money
Rule #1 in politics:
You campaign in poetry. And you govern in prose.
Take for instance Hillary Clinton. In 2016 she campaigned in prose. And now today her book is available on Amazon for just $17.09 (hardcover):
What Happened
by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Now that Ms Clinton has shown the glass ceiling can be broken, women everywhere are stepping up to the plate to run for office. Like for instance ...
Wauconda Trustee Linda Starkey announced Wednesday she'll run for the Lake County Board in 2018. Starkey, whose political resume includes two terms as North Barrington's mayor, is seeking the Republican nomination for the county's 17th District seat.
Wauconda trustee to run for Lake County Board
And no sooner was the ink dry, another woman announced a week later.
A third Republican candidate has entered the race for the Lake County Board's 17th District seat. North Barrington resident Eleanor Sweet McDonnell has announced she wants the job.
Third GOP candidate running for 17th District Lake County Board seat
Both ladies are challenging Michael Danforth, who in February was appointed to fill a vacancy in County Board District 17. This contest is widely considered an open seat.

Your LakeCountyEye did the math: At the current rate of one per week, Michael Danforth could end up with a dozen women candidates competing against him on the Primary ballot. Which means the voters in Danforth's district will have plenty of female candidates to choose from. A win-win-win for everyone.

Your LakeCountyEye doesn't know what Michael Danforth's secret is -- but he should bottle and sell it!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

A Word to the Ives

The GOP has a new battle cry:
You can't have a Party without some women!
And it should be no surprise the Lake County GOP last month threw a fundraiser Celebrating Women Republican Leaders.

One of those leaders is surely Gubernatorial candidate Jeanne Ives. Ives will be challenging Governor Bruce Rauner in the 2018 Primary. Ives is running on a platform of conservative values and keeping promises.

Operatives hoping to find Ives-for-Governor nominating petitions on the Lake County GOP website, however, had to wait. Rauner-for-Governor petitions are available there, but nothing for Jeanne Ives.

That is, until now:

Lake County Republican Petition Download
Sharpeyed Operatives will spy another Gubernatorial candidate on the Lake County GOP website, William J. Kelly:
Who is William J. Kelly? Your LakeCountyEye has no idea either. But one thing is for certain. If you're in a mood to stick it to the man, and you want to stand behind someone with conservative values who will keep their promises, then next March be sure to vote for William J. Kelly for Governor.

Monday, November 13, 2017

The Trump Administration's Attack on Sanctuary Cities


Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Sanctuary Cities are those that have their own policies on how to deal with undocumented immigrants in their communities. Edwin C. Yohnka, the Director of Communications and Public Policy for the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois, will outline the efforts of the Trump Administration to deny federal funds to municipalities designated as Sanctuary Cities.
  • Sunday
    November 19, 2017
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
    773-281-0378
  • $15
    (Students Free)

Saturday, November 11, 2017

The Proft Motive

At the risk of sounding redundant, McHenry County has its own fake news source, the McHenry Times. Like the Lake County Gazette (Lake County's #1 fake news source), the McHenry Times is one of many freeshopper tabloids published by conservative talk show host Dan Proft.

As if to flaunt their fake news bona fides, the McHenry Times incorrectly reported that Craig Wilcox is challenging Pam Althoff for State Senate.

None of this escaped the attention of the McHenryCountyBlog:

Take a look at this screen shot from McHenry Times, a publication financed by Dan Proft: Other than getting Wilcox' opponent wrong, the article gives favorable treatment to Wilcox.
Dan Proft’s McHenry Times Screws Up
Note to Dan Proft Ops: You're not even fooling the McHenryCountyBlog any more.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Taxed Out of House & Home

a real cutup
It should be no surprise that this week's surprise quiz is about the new GOP tax bill. The News-Sun observes that ...
Among the residents of Zion are 60 percent renters, 40 percent overtaxed homeowners and one tenant city officials have been struggling to evict for nearly 20 years.
Gamma radiation detectors: just one reminder of Zion's nuclear legacy
Now answer these questions:

By eliminating the property tax deduction, will the new GOP Cut Cut Cut Act drive these Zion homeowners out of their homes and into rented apartments? And who is that tenant they've been unable to evict for 20 years?  Is he the author of the Cut Cut Cut Act -- Lake County's vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam?

If you answered YES to any of these, give yourself an attaboy.

But the correct answer is still the Zion Nuclear Plant:
Those statistics can be attributed to the storage of spent nuclear rods on the property of the closed Zion Nuclear Power Station
Gamma radiation detectors: just one reminder of Zion's nuclear legacy
Note to Ops: As Zion goes, so goes the nation.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Sleight of Hand

There is no truth to the rumor that the Lake County Republican Party is holding a fundraiser to pay for the new GOP tax plan. So you will have to pay for the Cut Cut Cut Act out of your own pocket:
The Illinois congressman who's one of the major authors of the big new GOP tax plan says he's solidly behind it and intends to vote to enact it—even though local tax authorities say tens of thousands of homeowners in his district would be affected by a new cap on property-tax deductions, potentially cutting into and maybe eliminating any overall tax cut they would enjoy under the rewritten rules.
Roskam lauds GOP tax plan that could hit thousands of constituents
That Illinois Congressman is Lake County vestigial Congressman Peter Roskam. According to the Daily Herald:
"Most people in my district are interested in tax relief, not interested in the equation," Roskam said.
Roskam says new Republican tax plan is good for middle class
Here Roskam demonstrates how he worked out that equation by hand:

"Nothing Up My Sleeve"

PRESTO
How about a big hand for another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
The big beneficiaries of Roskam's tax bill were unavailable for comment.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Dot Your Ts and Cross Your Is

An actual unretouched screencap from the invitation card to the Lake County Republican's Celebration of Women Republican Leaders:

A Celebration of Women Republican Leaders
Featuring Lieutenant Governor

Evelyn "Sanguinettti"
One informed source told your LakeCountyEye: "Once again the Lake County GOP missed a bet. With that many Ts to play with, we could've thrown a golf outing."

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Fabled in Story and Song

An actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Republican's GOP fundraiser to honor women:

"In a world where Republicans are stereotyped as being old, white, and male, we were proud to showcase our diversity and fabulous women leaders and trailblazers," said Lake County Federation President Larry Falbe.
Lake County Republican Federation Pleased with Success of
"A Celebration of Women Republican Leaders"
Note to Ops: More adjectives to be found at Team America's 10th District Blog.

[h/t: s/a]

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

The Woman Scorned

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Jeanne Ives.

Jeanne Ives who?

crickets
Haha, in case you don't know, Jeanne Ives is a Republican candidate for Governor. Illinois Gubernatorial candidates need 5000 petition signatures to qualify for the ballot. You are not likely, however, to see someone canvassing for Jeanne Ives at your door.

Your local committeeman is expected to download nominating petitions from the Lake County Republican website -- where every GOP candidate is represented. That is, every candidate except Jeanne Ives. Door knockers can download petitions for Bruce Rauner and Evelyn Sanguinetti; there are petitions for State Reps, County Board, even judicial candidates. But no petitions for Jeanne Ives:
Lake County Republican Petition Download
It goes without saying that you cannot get on the ballot without any petition signatures. Note to Jeanne Ives Ops: Your LakeCountyEye has found your missing link ...
Illinois Governor Candidate Jeanne Ives
Your LakeCountyEye: proud to be Lake County's first and only online source to Jeanne Ives for Governor nominating petitions!

Monday, October 30, 2017

The Other Woman

Don't be surprised by that oddly dressed ragamuffin at the door, begging your indulgence. It's that time of the year again -- for gathering petition signatures in Illinois.

According to the Daily Herald, State Rep Jeanne Ives ...
announced this weekend that she is circulating petitions to challenge the governor in the March primary.
Ives: 'We expect to be on the ballot' against Rauner
Ives for Governor petitions can be downloaded from the Lake County Republicans website.

Haha, j/k. There are no Jeanne Ives petitions on the Lake County GOP website. There are however plenty of Bruce Rauner petitions:
The omission is conspicuous given that the Lake County Republican Party just threw a fundraiser honoring GOP Women in Leadership:
A Celebration of Women Republican Leaders
One informed source told your LakeCountyEye: "They booked one woman to deliver the keynote address -- Bruce Rauner's running mate, Evelyn Sanguinetti. How many women in leadership do you want?"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Cherchez la Femme

Lock her up!
Faster than a speeding bullet, the Lake County GOP has organized another fundraiser:
The Lake County Republican Federation will celebrate female GOP leaders at a political fundraiser Friday in Lake Forest.
GOP fundraiser to honor women
This fundraiser has been scheduled hot off the heels following the Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle.

It is not known how many guns will be raffled off at the Lake County Republican Woman fundraiser.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Mortality Tables: The Final Round

Is it Opposite Day? Instead of taking money from the Gun Lobby, both Lake County Congressmen Peter Roskam and Randy Hultgren gave money:

Lake County Republican Central Committee A-1 List
To make some sense of those topsy turvy turn of events your LakeCountyEye contacted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Paranormal Research at the College of Lake County.

"Holy simoleons." said Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Roskam and Hultgren donated $1000 to the Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle. Each! That can buy somebody a bundle of bumpstocks."

Your LakeCountyEye noticed that Hultgren's PAC is a PO Box maildrop. And the address of Roskam's PAC is Tampa, Florida.

"Where banking regulations are non-existent." offered Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

According to the Lake County GOP Gun Raffle brochure, anyone with a $2000 donation would take home a Smith & Wesson assault rifle.

"Then Roskam & Hultgren should've pooled their money." suggested Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "They could have fought for who got to keep the gun."

Fight for the gun -- how?

"It's a basic rule of hand-to-hand combat." replied Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The first one who gets to aim the gun owns the gun."

As things stand neither got a gun. Then why donate $1000 to a gun raffle at all?

"Roskam is a personal injury attorney and Hultgren owns funeral homes." noted Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Having more guns in circulation would have to be good for business."

Does that mean Roskam and Hultgren are in the pocket of the gun lobby?

"Why, nothing of the sort." scoffed Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The gun lobby says that firearms reduce crime and other acts of violence."

Your LakeCountyEye was all like: haha, good one.

"Cracked myself up with that one." chortled Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi.

Your LakeCountyEye observed that neither Roskam or Hultgren attended. Both missed out on a free chicken dinner.

"Ya, and they also missed out on a photo-op with Joe Walsh. Former Congressman Joe Walsh gave the keynote address. That $1000 was earnest money toward not seeing a Joe Walsh challenge in the Primary."

Too crazy. Did Dr Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives, to go ahead and run in the Primary, but neither Peter Roskam nor Randy Hultgren are afraid of 2nd Amendment remedies."

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Shooting Fish in a Barrel

Q:Has anyone seen Joe Walsh lately?
A:Haha, trick question.

Former Congressman Joe Walsh gave the keynote at the Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle. Here is an actual unretouched screencap from the Lake County Republican website:

2nd Amendment Dinner – October 13, 2017
Walsh is on the right.

The Lake County GOP also took the opportunity to unveil their new Party logo:
For the record, Talk Like a Pirate Day is on September 19.