Monday, August 17, 2015

Travel Incentives

That's the signpost up ahead -- your next stop, the Special Taxing District. One corporate gravy train has exploded in Lake County. Organizations looking for tax incentives from the County may want to think twice, because, according to the Daily Herald ...
The county board on Tuesday unanimously approved an incentive policy that outlines several conditions, including a measurable return on investment, that must be met before county officials would consider rebating sales or property taxes for a project.
Lake County puts conditions on tax incentives for businesses
Every law has unexpected consequences. This one has the Route 53 Extension Blue Ribbon Panel crying foul. To find out why, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi -- Professor of Corporate Extortion at the College of Lake County.

"Ya," chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, "that asphalt albatross will never get built if Lake County demands an ROI out of the Route 53 Extension. The Toll Authority will have to slap a $20 surcharge on their Oasis burritos, before they would offset those sweetheart tax-breaks that the County Board promised."

That would not sit well with the Lake County motorists?

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi produced a calculator. "If you figure the average automobile toll at $5, and figure ten million cars every year -- at a cost of $3 billion, it will take 60 years to pay for the Route 53 Extension!"

That's a lot of rubber on the road.

"Not to mention leaky crankcases." grimaced Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "The Toll Authority is studying how the airline industry makes its profit. Motorists on the Route 53 Extension will be hit with extra fees -- like a finder's fee. Anyone who breaks down and wants a tow-truck to find them, pays a fee."

Wouldn't public transportation be better?

"Lake County's public transportation system is called Uber." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Studies prove that a small fleet of Uber drivers could move more people through the Route 53 corridor -- and quicker -- than any 45mpg limited access parkway. And at a fraction of the cost."

How much of a fraction?

What fraction is $3000 of $3 billion?

That would add up to an enviable ROI, to be sure.  Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your operatives my Uber ID is #LikeaBhatschidtkhrazziOuttaHell. Ping me any time 24/7/365."

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