Thursday, November 13, 2014

Q the Eye/11.13.14

Dear LakeCountyEye,

Applications are being accepted for the Lake County Board District 20 seat being vacated by David Stolman, who recently won election as Lake County treasurer. The seat officially will be declared vacant on Dec. 1. County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor, with consent of the board, must fill the vacancy within 60 days. The appointee must live in District 20, which includes the Buffalo Grove and Long Grove area, and be a Republican like Stolman. The appointee will fill the remaining two years of the term. Send a resume and letter of interest to Lawlor at Lake County Board office, 10th floor, 18 N. County St., Waukegan, 60085

Applications sought for vacant Lake County Board seat
Dear Lawlor, Ὥρος Hōros

Despite still being tighter than a Waukegan Casino slot machine, the election for Illinois Treasurer is all over. At least in the opinion of one candidate, David Stolman, who will resign from his Lake County Board seat and is already measuring the drapes in the treasurer's office. (One can always count on the Lake County Election Commission to deliver an election, especially when one happens to be the incumbent!)

So it has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that an opening on the Lake County Board has materialized in District 20. There can be no higher calling than public service, particularly when that calling materializes in the form of a sinecure with a healthy per-diem, plus expense account. Granted, the empty District 20 seat is not even cold yet, having been kept warm all of these years. And while these are big seat cushions to fill, your LakeCountyEye nevertheless humbly requests to be appointed to the Lake County Board.

Your LakeCountyEye's resume is attached below. Please do not mistake this for an Internet top ten list. Which is totally different:
Necessary Qualifications to Fill a Vacant Lake County Board Seat
  • Goes by a bitchin mononym, like Lawlor.

  • Republican, like Stolman.

  • Never recalled from elected office.

  • Never charged with carjacking.

  • Never operated a carwash in a forest preserve.

  • Never sold bootleg shoes out of a Pleasant Prairie motel.

  • Never ran down a spouse with the Cadillac.

  • Knows where the County Board meets.

  • Knows what the County Board is.

  • Q: The Route 53 Extension?
    A: Where are the shovels!
Look for your LakeCountyEye at the next COW near you.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

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