High Relief

Lake County has been allocated three medical marijuana dispensary licenses. Some municipalities are reacting with more than token resistance. The Sun-Times says ...

The City of Highland Park can't bar a medical marijuana dispensary from setting up shop in town, but it's proposing to ban terms like marijuana, cannabis, weed and pot on signs identifying the business.
Highland Park wants to keep medical pot business low key

For the straight dope on the story, your LakeCountyEye hit up Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of High Finance at the College of Lake County.

"I can see why they are freaking out in Highland Park." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "If I were some stoner who just drove down from Wisconsin, where would I go? Downers Grove? I don't think so. I would make a beeline for a town with a name like Highland Park. Why not just go and call your town Bong Grove or something?"

Your LakeCountyEye noted the unfortunate confluence of village appellation and statutory mandate.

"Don't expect them to call the dispensary anything like the Pot-in-a-Box Clinic either." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi said with air-quotes. "Not classy enough. Also, the High Roller Exchange has already been trademarked by the Park City Casino, so that one is a non-starter as well."

Your LakeCountyEye was beginning to appreciate how runaway government regulation is a reef that wrecks the hopes of able bodied businessmen throughout Lake County.

"Well, all the tea in China isn't going to change that fact that there is a lot of money to be made." opined Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "You set up a strip mall with a marijuana dispensary, and nextdoor a 24 hour convenience mart, and next to that a weight-loss clinic, and pretty soon you are looking at some serious cash."

That must be what they mean by corporate synergy, mused your LakeCountyEye.

"We'll know right away if the city decides to green-light the dispensary." Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi confided. "Just watch to see if [Lake County Rap Star] Chief Keef moves back to Highland Park."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep an eye peeled.

"Bear in mind that some towns would welcome a marijuana dispensary, and are offering incentives." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Like free yard waste service for the seeds and stems."

Your LakeCountyEye needed to know if there was there any parting advice for the ops.

"These marijuana dispensaries will all be zoned commercial." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Keep on truckin!"