The Road Not Taken

So a guy is lost and ends up on the Amstutz Expressway. He stops at a gas station to get directions. He says "How do I get to Chicago?" The cashier says "I couldn't tell you." The guy says "OK, how do I get to Milwaukee?" The cashier says "I couldn't tell you." The guy says a couple other cities and each time the cashier says "I couldn't tell you." By now the guy is annoyed. "Do you even know where we are?" the guy says. The cashier looks at the guy and says "Son, you're on the Amstutz. You can't get anywhere from here."

HaHa, true story.

The rest of the world may know it as the Road to Nowhere, but you call it the Amstutz. And now, throwing redundancy to the wind, the City of Waukegan will be shutting down the Amstutz Expressway next week for a movie shoot:

Regular Waukegan City Council Meeting
7_00 PM - 06-02-2025

In related news, the Long Grove Bridge is on the move and will be relocated to the Amstutz Expressway. A spokesman said: "If anyone can find the bridge there, they are welcome to crash into it."

The Hits Just Keep on Coming

Stop your LakeCountyEye if you've heard this one before: So, some guy who is driving a truck crashes into the Long Grove bridge.

HaHa. In related news, some guy crashed into the Long Grove bridge:

Water is wet. The sky is blue. Someone hit the Long Grove Covered Bridge again.
Long Grove bridge hit by moving truck, allegedly for the 67th time

In related news, the village is working to sanction a NASCAR track -- one that would go under the Long Grove bridge. One spokesman said: "Most people go to these stock-car races to see the crashes anyways. It's a win-win."

Be the YOU You've Always Been

This is someone you know, a friend or relative, even. He wants to pass for normal and presents an identity well within the bounds of convention, but secretly knows it is a deception. Until one day he cannot go on living the lie -- and he comes out, proclaiming his true nature.

Your LakeCountyEye refers to former Republican Congressman Joe Walsh. Lake County GOP favorite son Joe Walsh says he is now a Democrat:

Joe Walsh, who previously represented Illinois' 8th Congressional district as a Republican, said Tuesday he is becoming a Democrat
Former Illinois Rep. Joe Walsh says he's becoming a Democrat

Of course, one does not simply switch parties -- from Republican to Democratic -- just like that. Mr Walsh is currently being held at an undisclosed location in El Salvador, while Immigration and Customs Enforcement processes the paperwork.

Aim for the Stars

The McHenry County Man who shot himself in the foot is lucky to be alive. That's because the McHenry County Man who discharged his weapon in the direction of River Road (in McHenry) discharged his weapon in the direction of River Road (a busy thoroughfare):

McHenry man accused of firing gun to ‘scare’ woman faces new charge he shot at ‘busy’ road

The McHenry County Man who shot off his mouth declined to comment.