Thursday, January 17, 2019

Meet the New Bill

Government redundancy.
Global Warming notwithstanding, David McSweeney was given a snow job. Last week, ex-abominable Governor Bruce Rauner vetoed a bill sponsored by McSweeney -- one that could dismantle some Lake County Townships.

But while Governor Rauner needs to be spoken of in the past tense, David McSweeney continues to be the sole remaining Lake County GOP lawmaker in Springfield. McSweeney has promised to resuscitate the bill:
State Rep. David McSweeney pledged Monday to reintroduce a plan to make it easier for McHenry County voters to abolish local townships after it was vetoed by outgoing Gov. Bruce Rauner. The plan also would have required townships in Lake and McHenry counties to dissolve road districts that maintain less than 15 miles.
McSweeney vows to continue push for suburban consolidation plan despite veto
Surprisingly, local Township office holders were cool and collected. One unnamed official, speaking on condition of not being named, said: "We just won't plow the roads.  Is that snow I see?  It looks like nobody will be going to Springfield any time soon.  Not before the Spring thaw."

Furloughed government climate scientists were unavailable for comment.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

The Runaround Agenda

43-Yard Field Goal Challenge
Who knew? As things turn out, it is easier to shut down the Federal government than to shut down Township government. DMW Governor Bruce Rauner proved he is no Donald Trump by vetoing a bill that could have eliminated some Lake County townships.

Lake County's lone remaining Republican State legislator, David McSweeney, who sponsored the bill, was fit to be tied:
State Rep. David McSweeney, the Barrington Hills Republican who carried the bill through the Illinois House, said Rauner's veto represents an appropriate end cap to his final days in office. "Gov. Rauner leaves office as a liar, a hypocrite, a phony, the worst governor in the history of the State of Illinois," McSweeney said. "This just shows what a phony he really is."
Gov. Bruce Rauner vetoes McHenry County township consolidation bill
Attempts to reach McSweeney, to find out how he really feels, failed.

Speaking on conditions of anonymity, however, one anonymous source told your LakeCountyEye: "What's not to understand? We get no blowback from the TOI or any elected Township officials. And at the same time we get to go home and tell our constituents that we voted to eliminate the Townships. It's a win-win for everyone!"

Note to Ops: So much winning.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Q the Eye/01.10.19

Dear LakeCountyEye,

If this is an Instagram world then call me the Insta-Clam. What is the secret to successful Internet dating?

Lake County GOP Precinct Committeeman
Dear Dinosaur,Ὥρος Hōros

Your LakeCountyEye polled some chatroom correspondents, and this is what they look for in an online date:
  • Emotional Maturity
  • Openness
  • Honesty
  • Respectful and Sensitive
  • Independent
  • Empathetic
  • Physically Affectionate
  • Funny
But there is one thing over and above everything else that special member of the opposite sex is looking for in a mate: They want to see an 8x10 glossy photo.

Now, your LakeCountyEye suspects that you're an individual who can win an ugly sweater contest without wearing a sweater. So do what the professionals do when dating online -- pass along a photo of your LakeCountyEye:

Your LakeCountyEye (circa 1969)
Note to Ops: Always be sure to choose the photo of someone who isn't going to sue. Just Sayin!

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just under investigation by the Special Counsel, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Day Of Service Community Expo

Tenth Dems Organizing Day Of Service Community Expo To Bring Together Local Organizations And Community Members

Over 35 Not-For-Profit Groups To Have Opportunity To Discuss Their Organizations, Recruit Volunteers, And Work On Service Projects
Vernon Hills, IL — Ahead of their inauguration as Illinois’ next governor and lieutenant governor, JB Pritzker and Juliana Stratton have urged all of us in Illinois to give back to our communities. As a response to this call for a Day of Service, the Tenth Congressional District Democrats (Tenth Dems) is organizing a Day of Service Community Expo on Saturday, January 12th. It will be from 11 AM to 1 PM at the Sullivan Center, 635 N. Aspen Dr., Vernon Hills, IL 60061. Admission is free. The Community Expo will be a family-friendly event. Refreshments will be served.
The Community Expo will bring together local organizations and community members. At least 35 not-for-profits will have tables to showcase what they do, hand out flyers, recruit volunteers, and encourage attendees to take part in real-time service projects or sign up for future projects. This will be a great opportunity for community outreach and promoting volunteerism.
Tenth Dems believes politics should be about more than just elections–it’s about working together to improve our neighborhoods, state, country, and world. While Tenth Dems strives to do that year-round, the group will certainly put that into action on this Day of Service. January 12th has the potential to make a difference in the lives of thousands of neighbors. It will be a meaningful day at a critically important time for our state.
Tenth Dems is a grassroots political organization that works to elect Democrats to all levels of government within Illinois’ 10th Congressional District.
For questions about the Day of Service Community Expo, including your own group’s participation, email events@tenthdems.org.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

War Clouds on the Horizon

War is Hell.
Chief Illiniwek has cause for concern. That's because this week the Lake County GOP took Elizabeth Warren's scalp:
The leader of the Lake County Republican Party central committee dismissed concerns about a meme posted on the group's Facebook page that mocked U.S. Sen. and Democratic presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren's claims of Native American heritage. The image features puffs of smoke rising into the sky. The text reads, "Actual photo of Elizabeth Warren announcing her candidacy for president of the United States."
Lake County GOP leader dismisses concerns about meme targeting Sen. Elizabeth Warren
Scouts report the Lake County Republicans are circling the wagons and loading their guns. Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

... BREAKING ... LIVE UPDATE ...

It turns out those weren't smoke signals, after all. It was only the Lake County Republican ethylene oxide toxic cloud.

Note to Ops: It's a joke.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Bad Paper

... but the signatures are real.
It's unanimous. Everyone in Lake County has made the same resolution for the new year: To do their ballot nominating petitions right in 2019:
At least 16 candidates for elected offices in Lake County could be knocked off April 2019 ballots because of challenges to their paperwork.
16 Lake County candidates facing petition challenges
Why are these candidates getting their walking papers? To find out, your LakeCountyEye asked Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Follicle Professor of Legal Hairsplitting at the College of Lake County.

"Ya, scientists have discovered that there are more ways to get bounced off an Illinois ballot," said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "than getting your County P-Card bounced in downtown Chicago."

That would be quite a number, by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning.

"State law is very specific about how to submit your nominating papers." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "For instance, your candidacy will be in jeopardy if your paperwork does not contain the requisite $100 dollar bill."

What happens if the papers are not all in order?

"That used to be a capital offense." deadpanned Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "But ever since the death penalty was abolished in Illinois, you now only get thrown off of the ballot."

Almost the same thing, opined your LakeCountyEye.

"Candidates will do anything to stay on the ballot." continued Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "I recall one candidate who did not have enough signatures. So he made a copy of every page and submitted those as well. When asked why he had duplicate signatures, the candidate said it was all perfectly legal -- those were people who were going to vote for him twice. True story."

Your LakeCountyEye believed it.

"Lawyers for Donald Trump," added Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "challenged Hillary Clinton's nominating papers in 2016."

Your LakeCountyEye did not know that.

"Trump insisted there was no collation."

Your LakeCountyEye had heard enough. Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Operatives that it is much easier, anyways, to run as a write-in. You only have to remember how to spell your name."