Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Pop a Pill

Do the Dew
Pop Quiz!

Can you identify this substance? What is ...
  1. Addictive.
  2. Induces euphoria.
  3. Lacks nutritional value.
  4. Creates animus when proscribed or subject to tariff.
If you answered ...
OPIOIDS
... good guess! But the correct answer is:
SODA POP
Haha, were it not a multi-billion dollar industry, your carbonated beverage would be classified as a Schedule I Controlled Substance. But as things stand, millions of soda pop addicts are held hostage daily to the carbonated beverage cartels -- and woe unto anyone who deems it wise to impede the flow of sugary (and artificially sweetened) beverages:
It's been just over a week but Cook County's new tax on sweetened beverages is on the fast track toward becoming one of the more vilified public policies in recent memory.
It's been 9 days. It's time to repeal Cook County's soda pop tax
What do the candidates have to say about the universally reviled soda tax? Ammie Kessem is a candidate for State Rep in District 19, on Chicago's Northwest side:
Ammie Kessem for State Rep
And as far as your LakeCountyEye can tell, Kessem has nothing whatsoever to say about the soda tax in Cook County:
Ammie Kessem for State Rep: Issues
Note to Ammie Kessem Ops: Your candidate is missing a bet.

Just sayin!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Nobody Here Except Us Chickens

a chicken in every can
Who doesn't eagerly look forward to their next Lake County rubber chicken dinner? If that is you, your LakeCountyEye has good news. The bottom just fell out of the market:
The movement to grow backyard chickens has caused controversy in many suburbs, so it should be no surprise that a proposal to house thousands of them just outside North Barrington's village limits is drawing resistance from the birds' prospective neighbors. If approved, a plan calls for the cluckers to be used for egg production on a large-scale poultry farm at the southwest corner of Scott Road and Route 59.
Thousands of chickens on suburban farm? Plan has neighbors upset
Basic market forces dictate that whenever your supply of chickens go up, your catering costs necessarily go down. It doesn't necessarily mean it will cost your pocketbook less to attend that next rubber chicken dinner. But analysts do agree you can look forward to a lot more rubber chicken dinners.

Analysts, however, are in disagreement over what the word clucker was doing in the aforementioned Daily Herald story ...
"a plan calls for the cluckers to be used"
After looking up clucker in the dictionary your LakeCountyEye has some ideas. No fewer than ten:
10 Words that Rhyme with Clucker
  1. Pucker
  2. Sucker
  3. Chukkar
  4. Muckraker
  5. Smucker's
  6. Scupper
  7. Bugger
  8. Fluffernutter
  9. Clunker
  10. Clusterbump
Look for your LakeCountyEye winning the Pullets-er Prize near you.

Monday, August 7, 2017

The Price is Right

Willie Sutton robbed banks. Nowadays just go to Congress instead.

Haha, the banking sector is giving away money to your US Representatives. For instance, Randy Hultgren has taken home more than $1,000,000 from financial interests:
Rep. Randy Hultgren: Campaign Finance/Money - Industries - Representative Career | OpenSecrets
Perhaps not coincidentally, Hultgren, Lake County's boreal Congressman, voted recently to repeal the Dodd-Frank Act:
A bill that repeals it has made its way through one level of Congress. The Financial Choice Act, passed by the House of Representatives last week, repeals many of the financial rules and regulations in what's called the Dodd-Frank Act that was passed in 2010.
Illinois Reps weigh in on House vote to repeal Dodd-Frank regulations
The new Republican Bill would ...
tie the hands of bank regulators and make it easier for banks to again take risks that endanger our economy. The bill would repeal the Volcker Rule, which prohibits banks from gambling with customer money;
What is the Financial CHOICE Act (HR 10)?
Perhaps not coincidentally, Randy Hultgren was seen this week at the Waukegan Casino:
Keep calm and Carey on. This is merely another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Note to Ops: Your odds are better at the craps table.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Block the Vote

Lake County wants $130,638 from the Illinois State Board of Elections:

State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity
The Lump Sum Grant is intended to help the County strike fraudulent voters from the rolls. To be sure, at 130K it would seem that Lake County has more ghost voters that it has graves. But one veteran observer says don't be fooled by the numbers, look at the figures instead: "I don't think there are 130,000 ghost voters registered in Lake County. That works out to only one dollar per vote!"

In any event, this ghost story will have to wait until next year. Because of the budget impasse, the check isn't even in the mail:
Local election authorities will lose more than $4.4 million in grant funds this year that pay for, among other things, purging ineligible names from voter registration rolls.
State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity
Princess Nudelman did not return your LakeCountyEye's calls.