Thursday, October 19, 2017


Noooo they be stealin mah refund!
US President and legitimate businessman Donald J Trump ordered the government to stop paying for your health insurance:
the federal government will cease crucial federal payments to health insurers that provide coverage to low-income Americans. Illinois on Friday joined more than a dozen states that have filed a lawsuit to block the payment cuts. Trump's order is the latest salvo in Republicans' effort to topple the law commonly known as Obamacare
Suburban Chicago Republican congressmen back Trump health care move as Democrats go on attack
The move did not escape the attention of Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman. Roskam, a personal-injury attorney, issued a carefully worded statement:
"The Administration's actions today reinforces our system of government as laid out in the Constitution that gives Congress the ultimate authority to determine how these funds are used," Republican U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam of Wheaton said in a statement.
Suburban Chicago Republican congressmen back Trump health care move as Democrats go on attack
It's All Legal
In related news, the Lake County 911 Emergency Dispatch Task Force says a consolidation of 911 centers would realize nearly $3 million in cost reductions. A Task Force report proposes a two-step process where ...
The first phase would result in about $400,000 in annual savings and the second phase would result in savings of about $2.3 million, according to the report.
'Turf wars' challenge effort to consolidate Lake County's 911 dispatch services
One 911 dispatcher told your LakeCountyEye: "When all those uninsured people start calling 911, we're going to need that $3 million!"

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Cartoon Violence

If you see a youngster dressed as an action superhero at your door that may be a sign that you live in the Lake County Fairgrounds. That's because the Lake County Comic-Con is at the Fairgrounds this weekend.

Haha, Count-i-Con – Lake County's Biggest Pop-Culture Event -- will be here faster than Quicksilver and The Flash in a 3-legged race ...
Count-i-Con 2017

October 20-22, 2017
Friday: 6pm-10pm
Saturday: Noon-7pm
Sunday: Noon-5pm

Lake County Fairgrounds
1060 East Peterson Road
Grayslake, IL 60030
Informed sources have informed your LakeCountyEye that no firearms will be raffled off at the event.

Weapon/prop policy
for Count-i-Con 2017
Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Q the Eye/10.17.17

Dear LakeCountyEye,

I just found out the Lake County Republicans held a "Second Amendment" fundraiser last week, and they gave away AR-15 Assault Weapons. Did you shoot any photos?

They Got the Numbers but We Got the Guns
Dear Math Death,Ὥρος Hōros

Your LakeCountyEye is under injunction to maintain a 500 ft perimeter whenever near a gun auction, and regrettably did not attend the GOP firearm raffle. However your LakeCountyEye did find a picture of an AR-15 that was seized in Round Lake Beach this week:

An AR-15 with a loaded 30 round magazine was seized in a warrant search Friday in Round Lake Beach that also uncovered a large cache of marijuana, authorities say. (Round Lake Park Police)
Drug cartel linked to 600-pound marijuana bust in Round Lake Park, police say

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ...

Monday, October 16, 2017

24 Gun Salute

Mrs Peel, We're Needed
The message sent by the Lake County GOP is loud and clear:
Suit Up
Last Friday, the Lake County Republican Party held a gun raffle. As a result, County statisticians now track at least twenty-four more firearms:
Twenty-four firearms were raffled off at the $75-per-person fundraising dinner, including at least two safes filled with guns.
Lake County GOP gun raffle draws about 100 protesters
In related news, the Lake County 911 Emergency Dispatch Task Force estimates that a consolidation of 911 centers would realize nearly $3 million in cost reductions. A Task Force report proposes a two-step process where ...
The first phase would result in about $400,000 in annual savings and the second phase would result in savings of about $2.3 million, according to the report.
'Turf wars' challenge effort to consolidate Lake County's 911 dispatch services
One 911 dispatcher told your LakeCountyEye: "With all those new guns on the street, we're going to need that $3 million!"

Sunday, October 15, 2017

The Sources of North Korea's Conduct

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Bruce Cumings, Swift Distinguished Service Professor at the University of Chicago, will discuss the current conditions in North Korea and the historical factors that led up to them.
  • Sunday
    October 22, 2017
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • $15
    (Students Free)

Saturday, October 14, 2017

The Forseeable Future

It's official. Not everyone in Illinois will be running for State Attorney General next year. That's because Jack Franks will not be running for Attorney General.

The news was dutifully reported by the old media this week:
McHenry County Chairman Jack Franks won't run for attorney general

McHenry County Board Chairman Jack Franks says he won't run for Illinois attorney general
No surprise, your LakeCountyEye predicted the same all the way back on September 21, three weeks ago.

Here is an actual unretouched screencap taken from this blog:

Same Name Different Race
It is not known if the news has made it to McHenry County yet.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

The Silencers are Deafening

What if they gave a gun raffle and nobody came?

As readers of this blog are aware ...
Please Pass the Guns and Butter
The Lake County Republicans are hosting a 2nd Amendment Dinner and Gun Raffle fundraiser in Kildeer on Friday.  The controversial event has resulted in a media firestorm and at least one high-profile no-show:
Lake County Board Chairman Aaron Lawlor, a Republican, said Thursday evening he would not attend, sponsor or contribute toward the 2nd Amendment Dinner.
Protest organized ahead of GOP gun raffle in Kildeer
Will anyone from the Lake County GOP be in attendance? Your LakeCountyEye notes at least one willing participant:
Larry Falbe, president of the Lake County Republican Federation, an independent group that raises money for Republicans including the local party organization, supported moving forward with the fundraiser. "I would think that canceling the event would suggest there's something wrong or something to be ashamed of for having this kind of dinner that is supporting people who believe very strongly in the 2nd Amendment," said Falbe, whose group bought a sponsorship.
Suburban Chicago Republicans moving ahead with gun giveaway fundraiser 2 weeks after Las Vegas massacre
This is the same Larry Falbe who created Lake County's #1 political blog ...
Sharpeyed operatives will observe there is a $75 ticket price to get in the 2nd Amendment Dinner and Gun Raffle. Which may be beyond the means of anyone who draws a blogger's salary. Particularly a blog that hasn't published anything since 2013.

Your LakeCountyEye notes however, that tickets are reduced to $50 for "Joe Walsh Volunteers". Do not be surprised if you see Mr Falbe after all!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Please Pass the Guns and Butter

The Lake County Republican Federation will be raffling off a Mossberg 500 shotgun on Friday. There is no truth to the rumor, though, that the winner will be chosen with a spin of a russian-roulette wheel.

Haha, the Lake County GOP is hosting a fundraiser:
Lake County Republicans are moving ahead with a fundraiser where at least a dozen firearms will be given out to donors Friday night, less than two weeks after the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history in Las Vegas. The "Lake County Republican 2nd Amendment Dinner & Gun Raffle" in northwest suburban Kildeer features an AR-15-style semi-automatic rifle for those who pay $2,000 to sponsor the event, raffles for a 12-gauge shotgun and a 9 mm handgun, and other gun-related packages.
Suburban Chicago Republicans moving ahead with gun giveaway fundraiser 2 weeks after Las Vegas massacre
The Lake County Republican Party bought a domain to publicize the event:
If you're bad at remembering web URLs, here is a helpful mnemonic that is easy to learn:
Lake County Republican Gun Dinner Dot Com
The GOP website provides a nice color catalog of the guns that will be available:
One military analyst observed: "That's enough firepower to launch a ground assault on Pyongyang!"

While in outward appearance a gun show, the GOP fundraiser, from a legal perspective, is a dinner event. One source showed your LakeCountyEye a menu. "Be sure to sample the stuffed shells in the bump stock broth. To die for!"

The cash bar is open at 5:30 PM. Innocent bystanders are asked to steer clear of Lake County the night of the event.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

A Foreclose Conclusion

We wish to welcome you to Mnuchin Land
Did you hear the one about the Sheriff's deputy who had himself incarcerated? He wanted to work from home. Haha, as readers of this blog are aware ...
House Arrest?
the Lake County Sheriff has been buying residential homes throughout Lake County. News of these purchases was first broken by the Lake County Gazette ...
Sheriff LK Cty and Kaplan acquires 188 Woodstone Drive, Buffalo Grove

Sheriff LK Cty and Ross acquires 3832 Harwick Lane, Park City
Even so, Sharpeyed operatives will point out that the Lake County Gazette is not only Lake County's #1 fake news source, but that both stories are erroneous. These were not purchases made by the Lake County Sheriff, but in fact were tax sales.  This can be verified by the very sources cited in the same Lake County Gazette stories:
BlockShopper: 188 Woodstone Drive Buffalo Grove

BlockShopper: 3832 Harwick Lane Park City
Note to Ops at the Lake County Gazette: Your web-bot is scraping up inaccurate reader content. Please notify your minimum-wage botmaster that a home purchaser and a home seller are totally different. At least within the State of Illinois.


Tuesday, October 3, 2017

House Arrest?

Lake County's #1 fake news source, the Lake County Gazette knows where you live.

The Lake County Gazette has been looking up the public records and publishing the names and addresses of home sales in Lake County:
Lake County Gazette: Real Estate
Sharpeyed operatives will observe a pattern of acquisitions being made by one buyer ...
Sheriff LK Cty
While the Lake County Gazette no doubt has scored a big financial scoop, the identity of this buyer remains a mystery:
  • Who is Sheriff LK Cty?
  • Why is he acquiring all of this property in Lake County?
  • Is he a land speculator?
  • Or simply flipping homes?
As far as your LakeCountyEye is concerned, any news story that only raises more questions than it answers has not been put to bed.

Louis CK Cty was unavailable for comment.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

The Warren Piece

Lake County's #1 fake news source, the Lake County Gazette knows what you get paid.

The Lake County Gazette has been looking up the public records and publishing the paychecks of municipal employees in Lake County:
Highest Paid Municipal Employees in Lake County
The salaries of employees at some 35 Lake County villages are disclosed. For instance, do you know who is the highest-paid employee in the Lake County Village of Warren?
Who are the Village of Warren's highest-paid employees?
If you do not know the answer, that may be because there is no Village of Warren in Lake County. Wikipedia does say there is one in Jo Davies County:
Warren, Illinois
Warren is a village in Jo Daviess County, Illinois, United States. The population was 1,428 at the 2010 census, down from 1,496 at the 2000 census.

Warren, Illinois
Note to Ops at the Lake County Gazette: Cable Russia immediately and tell your minimum-wage content providers there that the Village of Warren and Warren Township are totally different. At least within the State of Illinois.


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Hold the Bezos Bus

Overheard today somewhere in Lake County:
"Siri, tell Mr Bezos to build his new Amazon headquarters in Waukegan."
Haha, everyone is in a bidding war to get the new world headquarters. And by everyone, your LakeCountyEye means the City of Waukegan:
Waukegan has joined the legions of communities vying to be the home for online retail giant Amazon's proposed second headquarters, hoping that its proximity to Chicago and the interstate system will give it an edge. The city's planning and zoning department is in the process of reviewing potential sites, which will then be submitted to Lake County Partners
Waukegan, Lake County Partners plan bid for Amazon's second headquarters
Naysayers will say that they are more likely to see a $5 minimum casino built in Waukegan than a $5 billion corporate megaplex. But the smart money says Waukegan not only has an edge, it has the inside track.

Your LakeCountyEye recently discovered this internal document ...
Amazon Route 53
Those who click the link will as surprised as your LakeCountyEye to learn that has purchased the naming rights to the Route 53 Extension:
Amazon Route 53
Note to Ops: If you haven't invested in any northeast Lake County bottomland yet, what are you waiting for?

Saturday, September 23, 2017

French Fry the Franchise

Question of the day ...

If Russian hackers are eligible to vote in Illinois. And if the potato is the national vegetable of Russia. Does that mean you should vote like a couch potato?

Haha, this may explain a recent video made by the Lake County Clerk's office, called Vote Like a Couch Potato:
A short video called Vote Like a Couch Potato! starring a faux Mr. Potato Head was created and posted on YouTube, the county website and in newsletters.
Lake County honored for 'Vote Like a Couch Potato' campaign
Sources tell your LakeCountyEye that the video is a followup to a successful GOTV campaign by the previous Lake County Clerk. That one was called Vote Like a Goldfish:
In related news, a Fish & Chips dinner announced that he will be a candidate for Illinois Attorney General:
Note to Ops: Petition period began only a week ago and already the slates are filling up!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Same Name Different Race

This actual, unretouched screengrab proves there are no spam filters on this blog:

Yes We Have a 2nd Banana
In related news, Lake County favorite son Scott Drury says he is running for Illinois Attorney General:
Drury says he’s in the AG race
Drury, it is widely believed, is a former federal prosecutor. You can now add to that: Former Gubernatorial Candidate.

It is not known who Cal Skinner is:

Yes We Have a 2nd Banana
Your LakeCountyEye: Uncannily predicting the future since 2008!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

The United States and the World Economy

Adlai Stevenson Center on Democracy
Lyric Hughes Hale, editor in chief of EconVue, a website which publishes independent economic news and analysis, will speak on:
The United States and the World Economy:
Why Things are Really Different this Time
  • Sunday
    September 24, 2017
    2:00 pm
  • The Stevenson Center on Democracy
    25200 N St Mary's Rd
    Mettawa (Libertyville), IL 60048
  • $15
    (Students Free)

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Yes We Have a 2nd Banana

a hot button
Did you know that Lake County favorite son Scott Drury is a former federal prosecutor? And if that don't beat all, next year Drury will be a former gubernatorial candidate.

As readers of this blog are aware, State Representative Scott Drury is running for Governor this cycle:
Q the Eye/06.09.17
Anyone twenty-five years old (and/or worth a billion dollars) is qualified to be Governor in Illinois. But election law stipulates that anyone who wants to appear on the Illinois ballot must also meet an inflexible requirement: Find a Lieutenant Governor candidate to be your running-mate.

The Capitol Fax reports that Drury's last campaign manager is his Lt Governor choice:
Drury's apparent running mate ran his last campaign
To be sure, nothing says the wheels have flopped off the campaign wagon than when you have to ask an old campaign manager to be your running-mate. Well, short of asking a pro-Palestinian socialist -- but who's counting?

One knowledgeable insider told your LakeCountyEye: "When you have a plan you stick to it. Your guy runs for Governor. After he loses the Primary, he runs as an Independent for his old State Rep seat and wins easy. He goes back to a divided Statehouse in Springfield and there is a bidding war for his allegiances. It's a big win for Democracy!"

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

If 7 Was 9

Seven of Nine
Q:How many candidates in the Sixth Congressional District does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:Who's counting?

Haha, there is already a crowded field of candidates in the Sixth Congressional District. The Daily Herald counts seven:
The already packed field of Democrats seeking to unseat U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam in the 6th Congressional District got a little more crowded Thursday when Sean Casten, a scientist and clean energy entrepreneur from Downers Grove, announced he's joining the race for the Democratic nomination.
Seventh Democrat announces plans to challenge Roskam
While the Pioneer Press recognizes nine:
Downers Grove resident and scientist, Sean Casten announced Thursday plans to run in the 2018 Democratic primary for U.S. Rep. Peter Roskam's 6th District seat. So far, nine Democrats are planning to seek the nod to appear on the ballot
Downers Grove scientist is ninth Democrat to announce run for Roskam's seat
At the rate things are going, there will be more Democratic candidates for the Sixth Congressional District than there are voters. Statistics like those hardly bode well for incumbent Republican Congressman Peter Roskam.

The good news for Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman) is there is a theoretical limit to the number of candidates that can appear on a primary ballot. Divide the number of voters by the number of petition signatures required, and your LakeCountyEye reckons there can be no more than 1,000 names on the Democratic ballot. Give or take a few.

Note to Ops in the Sixth Congressional District: Your petition period began last Tuesday.

Just sayin!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

House of Misrepresentatives?

An actual unretouched screencap from the LakeCountyEye Inbox:

Informed sources tell your LakeCountyEye that Sheri Jesiel is not a member of the US Congress. For the record, Jesiel (R-Ill) is the Illinois State Representative in the 61st District.

Note to Congressman Randy Hultgren (R-Ill) campaign Ops: Watch your backs.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Chain O' Lakes Smoke

second generation smoke
Not to be outdone by Cook County's effort to raise a soda tax, Lake County wants to raise the smoking age to 21:
A move to raise the minimum age to purchase cigarettes to 21 in unincorporated Lake County has cleared two hurdles. Two different Lake County Board committees — financial and administrative, and health and community services — unanimously recommended adoption of the proposed ordinance, which means it will next be sent to the full board for a final yes or no.
Lake County committees back raising minimum age for purchasing cigarettes to 21
The move may be too little too late:
Smoke from forest fires in Canada created quite a stir Thursday when it settled across northern Illinois. Whether the smoky haze lingers Friday in McHenry County depends on the extent of the fires and how long they persist
Wildfires in Canada bring haziness throughout McHenry County
Transportation authorities have issued a travel advisory: Expect heavy traffic from Cook County into Lake County, where beverage drinkers can obtain tax free soda. And into McHenry County where they are going to smoke.

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Nothing to see here.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Ocean Vu Walk 2 Train

ObamaCare Repealed: Pay Hospital $100
It's been raining so long in Texas that even your LakeCountyEye's basement is flooded. And while the basement of a single parent is as good a place to blog from as any, it has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that 3 feet of water plus electrical devices is not a long-term plan for success. As a consequence, your LakeCountyEye has been apartment hunting.

Peter Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, is advertising a sublet in Barrington:
Roskam pays $200 a month to Barrington for his small satellite office that's considered market value, according to his village lease that runs to Jan. 2, 2019.
Roskam protest in Barrington centered on Medicaid, Medicare
Informed sources say $200/mo is quite reasonable, even for antebellum Barrington. (Your LakeCountyEye discovered the hard way that Barrington is not an inexpensive town.  A night out there can set you back $200 -- in soda tax alone!) Zillow says in Barrington $200 covers the rent for maybe a mail-drop and nothing more. And anyone who has ever lived out of a mail-drop knows that both parking and the washroom are down the street.

Long story short, your LakeCountyEye hurried over to 200 South Hough Street in Barrington to put down a security deposit -- only to be told that Congressman Roskam had no plans to vacate before the 2018 election.

Note to Ops: November 2018 is a long time to wait. Who is running against Roskam in the Primary?

Just askin!

Saturday, August 26, 2017

The Rauner Mash

If amateurs imitate. And if pros steal. Then the Chicago Tribune Creepy Cartoonist™ is a pro. Long story short, the Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ drew a cartoon this week that could have been posted in the LakeCountyEye.

As readers of this blog are aware, a good story starts with someone else's good idea. In this case, your LakeCountyEye stole (from Crain's) a cartoon of Billionaire/Gov. Bruce Rauner athwart the Titanic:

Flight from Liquidity
And as readers of this blog are aware, no story is a good Bruce Rauner story without a borrowed dinner jacket. In this case, your LakeCountyEye stole an image from the Ty‑D‑Bol Man:

Missed the Boat
Simply mashup these old LakeCountyEye stories, and presto‑change‑o, you have this Creepy Tribune Cartoonist™ cartoon:

Captain Rauner of the Titanic
Note to Ops: When you steal from your LakeCountyEye you know you steal from the best!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Pad the Bill

Billionaire/Gov. Bruce Rauner does not trust Lake County voters. Rauner vetoed legislation that would empower the voters of Lake County to decide whether or not to elect their County Board Chairman. According to a Daily Herald story, the Bill ...
would have required a 2018 referendum in which voters would decide whether to make the chairman a publicly elected post or leave it for other county board members to decide.
Rauner vetoes bill allowing public to elect Lake County chairman
Predictably, the Daily Herald was none too pleased. Haha, j/k -- they were pleased as punch. In a followup editorial, the Herald said the Bill ...
would require voters to elect the Lake County Board chairman rather than let the 21 board members themselves determine who will lead them. Wisely, Gov. Bruce Rauner recognized the legislation for the presumptuous overreach that it is and vetoed it last week. Lawmakers could consider whether to override him, but there don't seem to be enough votes in the House for such an effort to succeed. Good.
Editorial: Rauner veto reinforces local control in Lake County
To be sure, requiring Lake County voters to elect their County Board Chair is one thing. And requiring a referendum to ask those same voters to decide the matter, is another thing entirely.

And while the Daily Herald may have applauded Gov Rauner for vetoing the former, in point of fact he vetoed the latter.

When asked to explain the mixup, one spokesman said: "Well sure, if the editors had read their own story in the pages of the Daily Herald they would have understood the Bill. But who reads the Daily Herald?"

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Merry Eclipse Day!

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Pop a Pill

Do the Dew
Pop Quiz!

Can you identify this substance? What is ...
  1. Addictive.
  2. Induces euphoria.
  3. Lacks nutritional value.
  4. Creates animus when proscribed or subject to tariff.
If you answered ...
... good guess! But the correct answer is:
Haha, were it not a multi-billion dollar industry, your carbonated beverage would be classified as a Schedule I Controlled Substance. But as things stand, millions of soda pop addicts are held hostage daily to the carbonated beverage cartels -- and woe unto anyone who deems it wise to impede the flow of sugary (and artificially sweetened) beverages:
It's been just over a week but Cook County's new tax on sweetened beverages is on the fast track toward becoming one of the more vilified public policies in recent memory.
It's been 9 days. It's time to repeal Cook County's soda pop tax
What do the candidates have to say about the universally reviled soda tax? Ammie Kessem is a candidate for State Rep in District 19, on Chicago's Northwest side:
Ammie Kessem for State Rep
And as far as your LakeCountyEye can tell, Kessem has nothing whatsoever to say about the soda tax in Cook County:
Ammie Kessem for State Rep: Issues
Note to Ammie Kessem Ops: Your candidate is missing a bet.

Just sayin!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Nobody Here Except Us Chickens

a chicken in every can
Who doesn't eagerly look forward to their next Lake County rubber chicken dinner? If that is you, your LakeCountyEye has good news. The bottom just fell out of the market:
The movement to grow backyard chickens has caused controversy in many suburbs, so it should be no surprise that a proposal to house thousands of them just outside North Barrington's village limits is drawing resistance from the birds' prospective neighbors. If approved, a plan calls for the cluckers to be used for egg production on a large-scale poultry farm at the southwest corner of Scott Road and Route 59.
Thousands of chickens on suburban farm? Plan has neighbors upset
Basic market forces dictate that whenever your supply of chickens go up, your catering costs necessarily go down. It doesn't necessarily mean it will cost your pocketbook less to attend that next rubber chicken dinner. But analysts do agree you can look forward to a lot more rubber chicken dinners.

Analysts, however, are in disagreement over what the word clucker was doing in the aforementioned Daily Herald story ...
"a plan calls for the cluckers to be used"
After looking up clucker in the dictionary your LakeCountyEye has some ideas. No fewer than ten:
10 Words that Rhyme with Clucker
  1. Pucker
  2. Sucker
  3. Chukkar
  4. Muckraker
  5. Smucker's
  6. Scupper
  7. Bugger
  8. Fluffernutter
  9. Clunker
  10. Clusterbump
Look for your LakeCountyEye winning the Pullets-er Prize near you.

Monday, August 7, 2017

The Price is Right

Willie Sutton robbed banks. Nowadays just go to Congress instead.

Haha, the banking sector is giving away money to your US Representatives. For instance, Randy Hultgren has taken home more than $1,000,000 from financial interests:
Rep. Randy Hultgren: Campaign Finance/Money - Industries - Representative Career | OpenSecrets
Perhaps not coincidentally, Hultgren, Lake County's boreal Congressman, voted recently to repeal the Dodd-Frank Act:
A bill that repeals it has made its way through one level of Congress. The Financial Choice Act, passed by the House of Representatives last week, repeals many of the financial rules and regulations in what's called the Dodd-Frank Act that was passed in 2010.
Illinois Reps weigh in on House vote to repeal Dodd-Frank regulations
The new Republican Bill would ...
tie the hands of bank regulators and make it easier for banks to again take risks that endanger our economy. The bill would repeal the Volcker Rule, which prohibits banks from gambling with customer money;
What is the Financial CHOICE Act (HR 10)?
Perhaps not coincidentally, Randy Hultgren was seen this week at the Waukegan Casino:
Keep calm and Carey on. This is merely another hilarious LakeCountyEye Double Vision™!
Note to Ops: Your odds are better at the craps table.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Block the Vote

Lake County wants $130,638 from the Illinois State Board of Elections:

State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity
The Lump Sum Grant is intended to help the County strike fraudulent voters from the rolls. To be sure, at 130K it would seem that Lake County has more ghost voters that it has graves. But one veteran observer says don't be fooled by the numbers, look at the figures instead: "I don't think there are 130,000 ghost voters registered in Lake County. That works out to only one dollar per vote!"

In any event, this ghost story will have to wait until next year. Because of the budget impasse, the check isn't even in the mail:
Local election authorities will lose more than $4.4 million in grant funds this year that pay for, among other things, purging ineligible names from voter registration rolls.
State cuts 2017 funds for voter registration integrity
Princess Nudelman did not return your LakeCountyEye's calls.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

On the Wrong Side of the Tracks

How to cut your property tax.
What are the chances an exploding oil train will explode in Lake County? One bookmaker told your LakeCountyEye that the exact odds would depend on the over/under. So your LakeCountyEye took a measuring tape to Round Lake Beach and observed the over/under there to be about 13 feet & 6 inches:
In fall 2015, what turned out to be the largest road-improvement project in Lake County history provided a Canadian National Railway overpass at Rollins Road, along with additional lanes and a modified intersections at Rollins and Route 83, which eased flow to an estimated 41,500 vehicles per day.
Lake County, IDOT hit with $7.1 million judgment in Rollins Gateway lawsuit
Haha, to build the overpass for the Canadian National Railway, Lake County had to seize property. The owner sued:
Lake County and the Illinois Department of Transportation must pay $7.1 million to the owner of a Round Lake Beach shopping center as compensation for land taken and other damages as part of the Rollins Road Gateway Project.
Lake County, IDOT ordered to pay $7.1 million to Round Lake Beach business owner
A knowledgeable insider explained how the Lake County Treasury operates: "One $7 million wrongful eviction lawsuit here, one $7 million wrongful eviction lawsuit there, and pretty soon you're talking real money."

Note to Railroad Ops: Always build your tracks over the road. Railway underpasses are subject to floods. Just sayin!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Mr Curran Goes to Springfield

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Daily Herald website:
According to the Herald story ...
DuPage County Board Vice Chairman John Curran has been appointed to replace the state senate seat left vacant by Christine Radogno, a Lemont Republican, officials said Saturday. Curran has served as a DuPage County Board member since 2008, most recently as vice chairman since 2012.
DuPage County Board member appointed to state Senate vacancy
Curran no doubt should be thrilled at his appointment to the State Legislature. By anyone's estimation this counts as an out-and-out promotion. Curran's tenure as a County-level elected official reaches back to the mid 2000's. And one does not often see a public servant leapfrog out of County government and straight into the Springfield Capitol dome. Your LakeCountyEye sends hearty congratulations to State Senator Curran!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Grade on a Curve

... tick ... tick ... tick ...
Some people would rather take clean-up detail after a catastrophic flood than be asked to solve a story problem. If you are that guy, here is this week's story problem:
An exploding oil train, measured from the tip of the cowcatcher to the tail of the caboose, is 27 miles long. And you would swear it was moving along no faster than ¼ mile per hour. How much time would you have to kill at the crossing before this train rolled by?
Answers must be submitted in a SASE. Please show your work.


The correct answer is:
108 hours
(27 miles ÷ .25 mph = 108 hours = 4½ days)
Coincidentally, 108 hours is also the duration that the CN rail crossing in Mundelein will be down this week:
Route 60/83 at the Canadian National Railroad tracks in Mundelein closed Monday morning as work began on repairs to the grade crossing there. The crossing is scheduled to remain closed until 6 p.m. Friday, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation.
Repair work begins on Mundelein crossing
Note to Ops: This is why you had to learn algebra.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Missed the Boat

Make up your own poopdeck joke here.
Your LakeCountyEye just rowed in from Waukegan Airport. And boy are your LakeCountyEye's arms tired!

Haha, If you haven't received your FEMA disaster relief money yet, the check is in the mail, your LakeCountyEye has learned. Or as the case may be, in the mailboat.

The delay is attributed to Governor Bruce Rauner's reluctance to declare Lake County a flood disaster area:
Rauner is getting trounced in the local media for failing to visit, fly over, make a statement — or even send a tweet — after an unprecedented amount of rainfall in northern Illinois caused flash flooding, leaving subdivisions under water, shutting down a major amusement park, flooding a community college and even prompting the evacuation of a local hospital.
Rauner stumbles on Midwest flood response
For the record, there is no truth to the rumor that Rauner fell overboard while surveying the floods and has been missing at sea ever since. That is because Billionaire-Governor Rauner did declare Lake County a flood disaster area, the very minute it became a political liability to not do anything.

Note to Ops: If a Coast Guard Cutter weighs anchor on your front lawn, you can tell them to call off the search & rescue operation.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Same Name Different Lake

An actual unretouched screengrab from the Daily Herald website:
According to the story, which is attributed to the Sun-Times ...
A haggard-looking Dennis Hastert can be seen in a booking photo released Wednesday -- the first public image of the former House speaker after his 13 months in federal prison for scheming to cover up his sexual abuse of boys. The image comes from the Lake County sheriff's office, where Hastert, 75 -- called a "serial child molester" by a federal judge -- was processed after his release from a Minnesota prison.
Lake County sheriff to electronically monitor Hastert
Sparing no expense, your LakeCountyEye conducted a thorough analysis of public records and can now report that there is a Lake County in Minnesota. Also there is a Federal Prison in Lake County Minnesota. And that former US Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was incarcerated in that Lake County Federal Prison. In Minnesota ...

Lake County, Minnesota
Note to Ops: If Hastert owes you money, this means you won't be able to collect in Waukegan.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Lake County Bailout

Demonstrating a keen grasp of the obvious, Governor Bruce Rauner declared Lake County a disaster area. The News-Sun said:
Gov. Bruce Rauner toured flooded areas in Lake County on Friday as officials warned that the worst is yet to come in some areas, with the potential for record flooding along the Fox and Des Plaines rivers. While some anticipated the governor might declare the county a disaster area when he went to Gurnee around 10:45 a.m. to survey the damage and meet with local officials, he initially did not, drawing criticism from two local Democratic legislators and others. Hours later, at about 5 p.m., Rauner reversed course, issuing the disaster declaration not only for Lake but for Kane and McHenry counties as well.
After tour of flooding, Rauner declares Lake, Kane, McHenry counties disaster areas
Illinois Billionaire-Governor Rauner was not quite as stingy in the past when it came to doling out the flood disaster declarations, as this 2016 press release attests:
A state disaster declaration makes a wide variety of state resources available that can help communities respond and recover from flooding. Such resources include sandbags, sand, pumps, trucks, inmate crews and other assistance to ensure public safety.
Governor Rauner Adds 11 Counties to State Disaster Proclamation for Flooding
Note to Ops: do not try to be reimbursed for repairs to your leaky cabin in the Dells.

To be sure, along with the great power of a disaster declaration comes great responsibility. Declaring Lake County a disaster area has consequences -- consequences mandated by the State of Illinois, and having impacts as far-reaching as they are wide. Well, no more than 10 of them, by your LakeCountyEye's count:
Spoiler Alert:
What to Expect When Lake County is
Declared a Flood Disaster Area
  1. Illinois Beach State Park will be moved to McHenry County.

  2. Scoop the Loop host to classic Land Yachts as well as Sea Yachts.

  3. All wrongful convictions henceforth decided under Maritime Law.

  4. Lake County sinkholes will be registered as inland lakes.

  5. The Race to Mackinac Island to start from Hawthorn Woods.

  6. Asian carp are now eligible to vote.

  7. No more jokes about why it's called Port Barrington.

  8. The Lake County Joint Action Water Agency would be rebranded as the Lake County Water Abatement District.

  9. Goodbye: Route 53 Extension
    Hello: Route 53 Suspension Bridge

  10. Lake County will be renamed: No-Wake County
Look for your LakeCountyEye dowsing near you.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Flight from Liquidity

If the mission of the Lake County Joint Action Water Agency is to bring Lake Michigan water to the homes of Lake County, it may be time to rethink that mission. As of late, most Lake County homes are under Lake Michigan.

Haha, Illinois Billionaire/Governor Bruce Rauner found time to be in Lake County today. Your LakeCountyEye got this snapshot of the Governor surveying the floodwaters:

You've been served, Gov. Rauner
While the Governor was earning his sea legs, he may not have seen these Tweets:
"Lake County residents have been working to pick up the pieces after major flash floods hit the area. The governor has not declared a state of emergency for Lake County, so residents with devastating property damage and no flood insurance have been unable to get access to low-interest loans that help people rebuild."

"Today, the governor will be in Lake County touring flood sites. The devastation experienced by our constituents over the last few days needs to be seen to be understood. Clean up from this historic flooding is going to take all of us working together."

"With more flooding expected to occur this weekend, we urge Governor Rauner to do what Governor Walker has already done, declare a state of emergency and call in the National Guard to provide much-needed relief to flood victims. Lake County residents need this help immediately."

'Asleep at the wheel': Yingling, Bush call on Rauner to issue disaster declaration for Lake County
A spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "The Governor is an old-hand when it comes to filling sandbags. The Bruce Rauner Turnaround Agenda has been sandbagging the State of Illinois since 2014!"

[h/t: Crain's]

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Damn Over the Water

aquaholics anonymous
There is no truth to the rumor that a leaky Lake Michigan water pipe in Grandwood Park is responsible for the flooding in Lake County. As a matter of fact the widespread floods were delivered by storms of global warming Biblical proportion.

The News-Sun got the scoop:
Torrential rains pounded Lake County overnight Tuesday into the Wednesday morning commute, with flash flooding closing major roadways, shutting down Six Flags Great America and the College of Lake County, swamping basements and forcing the evacuation of residences from Mundelein to Fox Lake.
'It just didn't stop' — flooding sweeps Lake County during series of storms
One spokesman told your LakeCountyEye: "This is the third or fourth hundred year flood we've seen this century. And it's only 2017. The truth in advertising statutes may obligate us to change the name of Lake County to Flood County."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Water is the New Oil

a two cents plain
Lake County got some new pipes. Has there been a spike in medical marijuana sales? Nope, these pipes disperse Lake Michigan water:
An often overlooked part of daily life in the 1,900 homes and businesses that comprise Grandwood Park changed last week as Lake Michigan water began flowing from taps, showers and hoses.
Lake Michigan water flows into new areas of Lake County
There is no truth to the rumor, your LakeCountyEye learned, that the water is for a new bottling plant that will truck bootleg, tax-free soda into Cook County.

In reality, the pumps are running dry. The Daily Herald talked water with Grandwood Park resident and Lake County Board member, Steve Carlson ...
he supported the need for a new source after the well system basically dried up years ago during a drought. "It's something we had to do," Carlson said.
Lake Michigan water flows into new areas of Lake County
Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Lifestyle of the Party

survival of the fitness
Note to Ops: unless your lifestyle approaches the lifestyle of the rich and famous be prepared to lose your health insurance. Lake County Congressmen Peter Roskam and Randy Hultgren both voted to repeal your Obamacare. And you're to blame. That's because it's your unhealthy lifestyle that is driving up everyone else's insurance premiums.

Haha, the GOP figured out they can keep their premiums low by excluding from Trumpcare those who make poor life choices. And since your LakeCountyEye has never met an Operative who did not maintain the lifestyle of a college sophomore, they mean you!

Despair not, however. Trumpcare is all about choices. You may choose to pay a lot of money for a junk policy. Either that or you can make some existential choices, live healthy, and forgo health insurance entirely. Either way and whether you like it or not, the GOP will make you adopt a healthy lifestyle.

Despair not, however. Your LakeCountyEye has surveyed the best healthy-living clickbait the Internet has to offer. Not only is a healthy life within reach, but you can get there in 10 easy steps:
Ten Lifestyle Mistakes to Avoid in Lake County
Don't Try Any of This ... ... Unless You're Ready for Some of This!
1.Living Near the Route 53 ExtensionLung Disease, Heart Attack, Stroke
2.Living Near an Exploding Oil Train TrackExploding Oil Trains
3.Living Too Far from Cook CountyMuffin Tops, Bat Wings, Turkey Wattles and Tax-Free Soda
4.Living Too Close to McHenry CountyYou May be a Redneck
5.Jogging in a LCFPDEbola Transmitting Mosquitoes
6.Driving Your CarLake County Sinkholes
7.Getting Out of Your CarTicks!
8.Fourth of JulySee: Exploding Oil Trains
9.Substitute Beer for SunblockSPF Zero
10.Blow Off the Boss's Rubber Pizza Re-Election FundraiserUnemployment Insurance
Look for your LakeCountyEye living it up near you.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Boom or Bust

The Lake County exploding oil train did not explode in Lake County yesterday. In fact it failed to explode.

WLS-TV reports that ...
Emergency crews are on the scene of a freight train derailment in far southwest suburban Plainfield Friday evening. The derailment happened around 7:30 p.m. near Rte. 59 and Riverwalk Court. No injuries have been reported. About 25 cars derailed, police said. Police said about 40,000 gallons of crude oil have leaked from three cars. Firefighters have barricaded off the leak and prevented it from reaching the DuPage River. They are also taking all possible precautions to prevent a fire from starting. The Canadian National train was traveling northwest at the time of the derailment.
About 40,000 gallons of crude oil leak after derailment
The CN train that failed to explode in Plainfield is the same Canadian National line that crisscrosses Lake County:
One spokesman with his ear to the rail explained the misfire: "The train derailed in Plainfield and not in Lake County for the same reason Canada observes the Fourth of July on July One: Canadians operates on their own time schedule."

Your LakeCountyEye will keep you apprised when further developments warrant.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Road to Ill Health is Paved with 53 Extensions

There's a signpost up ahead ...
Note to Operatives: If you are sick of hearing about the Route 53 Extension then hit the volume on your Beltone. That's because the Route 53 Extension will make you sick.

According to the Daily Herald:
Opponents of a proposed Route 53 extension into Lake County are seeking support for a study to determine potential health impacts of the highway.
Grassroots group wants health study of Route 53 extension
Along with being pancaked under an 18-wheeler, other health risks associated with prolonged exposure to a highway include lung disease, heart attack and stroke. And if to add insult to injury, no one living near the Route 53 Extension will have any health insurance, because the GOP is going to kill the Affordable Care Act.

Peter Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman), who voted to repeal Obamacare last month, was quick to issue a statement: "Voters can rest assured that Trumpcare will be a huge improvement over Obamacare. Under Trumpcare your exposure to the Route 53 Extension will be classified as a pre-existing condition -- a major benefit. Provided, of course, the Route 53 Extension gets built first!"

That's all your LakeCountyEye has. Please bend over and cough.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

A Door to Door Campaign

All you people tryin' to sleep I'm out to make my midnight creep.
Ever since Peter Roskam voted to repeal Obamacare, he's been having trouble sneaking out of buildings. His constituents are now all standing at death's door.

Haha, Roskam, Lake County's vestigial Congressman, has taken to secreting himself in and out of public venues to avoid contact with voters and the press. The press noticed, nonetheless:
Several congressmen, including Roskam, slipped through the side doors of the restaurant
After protesters gather, Rauner skips Republican fundraiser

What Roskam, a Republican from Naperville, does not like is meeting with actual voters, not unless he can hand-pick them.
Come out, come out, wherever you are, Peter Roskam

constituents of Congressman Peter Roskam — one of the most powerful Republicans in Congress – have accused him of ducking their questions. As CBS 2 Political Reporter Derrick Blakley explains, Roskam is now ducking reporters' questions as well.
Rep. Roskam Avoids Angry Constituents At Chicago Appearance

The closed door meeting comes just four days after Roskam's staff in his West Chicago district office abruptly canceled a meeting with 16 constituents who had arranged to meet with them about their concerns over a repeal of the Affordable Care Act.
Protesters gather outside GOP meeting attended by Roskam
Of course, if you're in a hurry and the front door is out of the question, there usually aren't many other options available. Unless you are Peter Roskam -- who by your LakeCountyEye's count has found 10 alternate exits to look for whenever he's in the sights of a reporter or voter:
Ten Doors to Watch
for Peter Roskam
  1. The Back Door
  2. The Side Door
  3. The Stage Door
  4. The Revolving Door
  5. Better a Door Than a Window
  6. The French Doors
  7. The Trap Door
  8. The Barn Door
  9. The Double Doors
  10. The Pompa Door
Look for your LakeCountyEye to defenestrate near you.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Love Goes Out the Door When Money Comes Innuendo

Is it Door # 1? Door # 2? Or Door # 3?
Everyone knows that if it is Thursday it is time to play the game sweeping the Internet by storm ...
Which Door Will Peter Roskam Take?®
This week's winner is the Daily Herald. The Herald (who was all over Governor Bruce Rauner like duct tape on actual ductwork) spotted Roskam in a Rosemont doorway:
Tickets for the "Cocktails with the Congressmen" event at Gene & Georgetti steakhouse ranged from $10,000 for hosts to $100 for general admission. Along with Rauner, congressmen Peter Roskam of Wheaton, Randy Hultgren of Plano, Rodney Davis of Taylorville, Mike Bost of Murphysboro and Adam Kinzinger of Channahon were scheduled to attend the event, closed to members of the media. Several congressmen, including Roskam, slipped through the side doors of the restaurant, to the jeers of the roughly 50 protesters outside.
After protesters gather, Rauner skips Republican fundraiser
Sharpeyed operatives should note that Peter Roskam (Lake County's vestigial Congressman) was seen slipping through the side door.

If you did not win, there will be another opportunity next week (and every week) to play ...
Which Door Will Peter Roskam Take?®
Campaign trackers and Roskam PAC staff are not eligible.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

In Your Case I'll Make an Exemption

Meanwhile in Florida
It has come to your LakeCountyEye's attention that property taxes are due in Lake County. Two weeks ago. Oops.

While searching the sofa cushions to take care of the minimum payment, your LakeCountyEye came across a tip for reducing your tax bill. It's called a General Homestead Exemption, according to this Daily Herald story:
Homestead exemptions, granted for homes occupied by their owners, make up as much as 95 percent of eligible property in some townships but as little as 70 percent in others.
How suburban assessors discovered hundreds of illegal exemptions
And while you can claim the exemption for your primary residence, enterprising home owners are also taking the exemption for their vacation homes, rental properties, and most importantly Florida real estate.

While technically not legal, this seems a win-win by your LakeCountyEye's reckoning. Even if it did mean you would have to live in Florida.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Chicken Dance

Hindsight being 20/20, it is now apparent that Joe Walsh was voted out of Congress for not being extreme enough. And while there may be no second acts in life, the ex-Lake County Congressman quickly slid into broadcasting, where he is now a DJ. And (as his rabid fans attest) Walsh performs under the stage-name DJ-Walsh-Alt.

Note to Ops: Need a superstar DJ to beat-mix your next Rave, EDM Cellar or wedding rehearsal, and you don't have an unlimited budget? DJ-Walsh-Alt will have even your sleepiest septuagenarian tripping the light fantastic quicker than you can say gangnam style.

Catch these snaps of DJ-Walsh-Alt on the floor ...
Joe Walsh Holds Summer Shindig
... of a recent McHenryCountyBlog hootenanny:

"What do you say we turn up the music and kick up some fun?"

You put your right wing in,
You put your right wing out ...

You put your right wing in,
And you shake it all about ...

You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around and ...

... I wanna dance with you,
With you my Lambada, Lambada.
La La La La La La Lambada!

[h/t: McHenryCountyBlog]