Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Sillery Season

Operatives wishing to drown their sorrows can join Robert Dold next week. Dold -- Lake County's serial congressman -- will be headlining a fundraiser at a local watering hole:

Beat Hillary at the Distillery
To see what's brewing, your LakeCountyEye contacted Dr. I.M. Bhatschidtkhrazzi, Professor of Spirit Communications at the College of Lake County.

"Ya." chuckled Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "So Donald Trump walks into a bar and orders a 50 foot tall Harvey Wallbanger. The bartender says he can make one ... if Trump can pay for it. Don't worry, says Trump, Mexico will pay for it."

Haha, cute. Your LakeCountyEye produced a clipping from the National Journal:
Rep. Bob Dold (R), who has said he will not support Donald Trump, will headline an anti-Hillary Clinton fundraising event called "Beat Hillary at the Distillery" on Sept. 10.
Dold to Attend Anti-Clinton Event
"Dold is making a smart bet by saying he does not support Trump." said Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "No one wants to lose the vote of the undocumented worker."

But isn't Dold saying he wants to defeat Hillary Clinton? Your LakeCountyEye did not see how Robert Dold could have things both ways.

Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi nodded. "I don't know either, how anyone can beat Hillary Clinton without supporting Donald Trump. That's like trying to win at poker without any big hands."

Your LakeCountyEye noted that Dold says he is going to vote for a write-in candidate.

"In that case," replied Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "Dold could vote for Chuck Norris. The US Constitution says Chuck Norris doesn't even need to be on the ballot to be elected President."

Your LakeCountyEye pointed out that Chuck Norris does not run for President -- Presidents run for Chuck Norris.

"Then if I were Dold," offered Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi "I would tell my people to write-in Brad Schneider for President. If Schneider became President then, according to laws of succession, Dold gets the congressional seat."

Maybe Dold has changed his mind, and he now supports Trump?

"That would give Dold and Trump a lot to share in common, then." observed Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Trump changes his mind every day. If Trump and Dold had the same shoe size they could swap flip-flops."

Is there anything a Robert Dold gains by supporting Donald Trump?

"There would be a job waiting for Dold in a new Trump Administration." noted Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi. "Head croupier at a Department of Homeland Security Casino."

Did Dr. Bhatschidtkhrazzi have any parting advice?

"Tell your Ops in the 10th Congressional District to be sure their resumes are up-to-date by November."

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