Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Phone Trees

Can you find the cell tower in this picture? Note to Ops: Don't bother trying to hook-up in a Lake County Forest Preserve -- there are no bars there.  Your smartphone service, however, will improve dramatically as soon as the Lake County Board decides to build cell towers in the Forest Preserves. The Daily Herald talked to Forest Preserve chairwoman, Ann Maine:
"I don't want to give people the impression we're looking to commercialize everything, but at the very least, we should look into it," Maine said of the cell tower issue.
New contract for Lake County forest preserve chief
While the predictable pooh-poohers say this is an inappropriate setting for commercial phone towers, Lake County officials are undeterred about introducing cell service to the Forest Preserves. One told your LakeCountyEye: "If I can't drive over to a Forest Preserve and shoot some Angry Birds, then who will?"

Best of all, your LakeCountyEye has learned that leasing public land to the commercial cell service interests will actually pay for itself in the long run! Who knew?

Well your LakeCountyEye knows. Your LakeCountyEye also knows that Lake County officials have some other ideas for turning the Forest Preserves into gold. 10 to be exact:
Ten Surefire Proposals
for Monetizing the Lake County Forest Preserves
  1. Host the 2024 Olympics

  2. Medical Marijuana Sharecropping

  3. Two Words: Banana Derby!

  4. Purchase the Long Grove Sinkhole & Unveil New LCFPD Bungee Park

  5. Plenty of Trees for Another Wood Roller Coaster
  6. Phase #1: Give the Exploding Oil Trains Right-of-Way Access
    Phase #2: Wait for Trains to Explode
    Phase #3: Collect FEMA Money
  7. New Site of the Relocated SAIA Truck Terminal

  8. Where Else are They Supposed to Put the Route 53 Extension Feeder Ramps?

  9. LCFPD Sues the County for Wrongful Conviction Damages

  10. Flip the Land into Townhomes
Look for your LakeCountyEye making like a tree near you.

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