Sunday, June 28, 2015

Not Exactly Gay About Marriage

Traditionally June is the month for marriage rulings from the Supreme Court. June also marks the end of the school year, and your LakeCountyEye has a pop quiz. Operatives are challenged to guess which of these actual headlines (for this week's Supreme Court gay marriage ruling) was seen in the Daily Herald:
Supreme Court extends gay marriage nationwide
Supreme Court ends bans nationwide on same-sex marriage, recognition
McHenry County residents react to Supreme Court's gay marriage ruling
Sharp language from justices on gay marriage decision
If you checked the last headline give yourself a pat on the behind. While most local newspapers chose to trumpet the historic Supreme Court decision, the old gray lady -- the Daily Herald -- seemed none too pleased.

While your LakeCountyEye has not actually read the story, the Herald's headline says all you need to know:
Sharp language from justices on gay marriage decision
Your LakeCountyEye assumes the dissenting Court justices issued a firm tongue lashing, or some junk.

One Daily Herald reporter told your LakeCountyEye: "There aren't any more eligible bachelors as it is. And now they can all marry each other? Give me a break!" On top of that, it is feared that the only marriageable men remaining soon will be the Illinois GOP caucus of confirmed bachelor legislators. The aforementioned bro's with no ho's were unavailable for comment.

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