Thursday, October 10, 2013

F is for Friends
Who Do Stuff Together

There is no such thing as gravity, the earth sucks.Lake Zurich, the Rodney Dangerfield of Lake County villages, may be on the verge of jumping the shark. The town that can't get no respect, Lake Zurich now plays a prominent role in Hollywood's newest sci-fi blockbuster:
Gravity
Your LakeCountyEye has not, technically speaking, actually seen Gravity. Informed sources who have seen the movie say Sandra Bullock crash lands the Space Shuttle on Old Rand Road in Lake Zurich; whereupon Bullock and co-pilot George Clooney mistakenly believe they crashed into Neptune; comedy ensues.

But truth, they say, is stranger than thinly veiled fiction. Some Lake Zurichers are more concerned about what to do with the moonscape more commonly recognized as downtown Lake Zurich. A few local burghers are none too pleased about the situation and, according to the News-Sun, developer John Breugelmans and a supporter Greg Schwermer expressed their displeasure to Mayor Tom Poynton at a recent Lake Zurich board meeting:
"You guys are a bunch of f---ing idiots. OK? I've owned property eight years in this village ... and all you guys ... you f--- everything up!" Schwermer screamed. Again, Poynton tried cut off the conversation there. "No, he is not out of order," Breugelmans said. "He is speaking the right language ... because it is a f--- up ... you should be ashamed of trying to run a village like this, you are destroying it."
Trustees hit with expletive-laden tirade after rejecting proposal
Operatives can rest assured that they are not reading your LakeCountyEye's college transcript. All those F minuses you see printed above ...
F---
are really words redacted from the story by a censor. The real question doubtless niggling at every operative is: "Just what the heck was that F-word anyways?" Your LakeCountyEye, for one, does not know.

No stranger to a mystery of any sort, your LakeCountyEye hit the meanstreets of Lake Zurich and proposed the same question to people selected at random.  Then quit after 10:
Ten Acceptable F-Bombs to Scream
at Your Next Village Meeting
  1. Friggin
  2. Freakin
  3. Flavin
  4. Francophile
  5. Fur Bearing
  6. Fartface
  7. Freeboodler
  8. Phallus
  9. Fahrvergn├╝gen
  10. Feminist
Look for your LakeCountyEye at a Fuddruckers near you.

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