Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Black Eye for Q the Eye

Your LakeCountyEye recently reported an altercation between 8th Congressional District Green candidate, Bill Scheurer, and a mean neighborhood dog ...
Q the Eye/06.18.10
The post drew from items reported as news by the Daily Herald ...
[Patrick] Hilliard, however, feels that it is his family who are the victims in this case - victims of harrassment [sic] as the Scheurers go door-to-door in the neighborhood with a petition for his dog to be declared dangerous.
Congressional candidate in dispute over dog bite
In a breaking news exclusive, your LakeCountyEye can now report that there is no petition. And that Bill Scheurer is not nor will be going door-to-door with a petition to have the dog declared dangerous. Your LakeCountyEye is not positioned to comment on the Herald's mistake. However it is a well known fact that local/small market print-media reporters pretty much write up their stories as dictated to them over the phone by political operatives.

An unnamed Operative contacted your LakeCountyEye with this exclusive in a Triple-DES encrypted e-mail via L2TP/VPN. Your LakeCountyEye is authorized to divulge only small excerpts from the dispatch:
You obviously have no understanding of what it means to be a peace candidate either. It does not mean you roll over in the face of injustice and aggression. It means you apply forces more creative and constructive than idiotic war to resolve problems.
So true. So true.
There IS action pending with Lake County Animal Control because this is the fifth time this dog has left its yard and attacked -- this last time inflicting severe wounds that required tubes of bloody stents that made the victim dog look like a grotesque porcupine.
Your LakeCountyEye wishes a speedy and full recovery to the injured dog. Hopefully in time for the dog to vote for the Green Party Candidate in November. The unfortunate incident is not likely to win the Green Party many other votes.
If the Daily Herald won't hire you, try the Chicago Tribune. Their standards are even lower.
Your LakeCountyEye appreciates the nice words of encouragement -- although these bridges, in particular, may have already been burned.

1 comment:

Publius said...

I got two friends who know how to deal with a dog that bites people...one is named Smith, and the other's named Wesson.