Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Gaysaying

If Internet Powerhouse® Andy Martin makes a habit of outing his political opponents he runs a risk of becoming known as Internet Outhouse® Andy Martin. The Illinois Republican Senate candidate is airing radio ads that drop the G-bomb on his Senate opponent Mark Kirk. The ads, which have played on WBBM/780 ...
Political Ad Questions Republican's Sexual Orientation

Transcript from the Political Ad
call attention to long standing rumors that Mark Kirk is gay. The NewsSun reported the story as news ...
Gay attack ad targets Kirk's Senate run
The Daily Herald ...
GOP slams ad questioning Kirk's sexual orientation
noticed the story as well.

Your LakeCountyEye assumes the goal of the ad is to make it so there is one less elephant in the room. With a primary election a short five weeks away, Martin's radio spot is an 11th hour attempt to buttress his campaign -- one that would now be perceived as going down if it had ever gotten up in the first place.

Full disclosure: Andy Martin, the GOP's gift to Internet satire, has bagged the coveted LakeCountyEye Senate endorsement.
My Favorite Martin
No question, Martin's ad is a cheap shot. Whether or not the rumors are true, your LakeCountyEye will not speculate. Kirk is deserving of an even break, particularly during the holidays.

So, in an effort to clear the air and to be fair & balanced, your LakeCountyEye has compiled 10 people, places and things that are much more gay than Mark Kirk:

  1. Tom Cruise

  2. Boughs of Holly

  3. A French Horn

  4. Voting for Cap and Trade

  5. A Roll of Two Dollar Bills

  6. Aaron Schock (R/IL-18)

  7. Tangelo (citrus fruit)

  8. Tangelo (given name)

  9. Submarine Duty

  10. Alexi Giannoulias

Your LakeCountyEye needs to don some gay apparel. Today is the day your LakeCountyEye starts the new gig selling shoes at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Top 12 Days of Xmas

This holiday season saw a break in tradition at the LakeCountyEye compound. What has typically been the sound of raccoons nesting under the LakeCountyEye veranda, this year turned out to be carollers spreading their seasonal cheer. Your LakeCountyEye holstered the LakeCountyEye AK-47 (FOID #53177187714) and welcomed the carolers, many of whom turned out to be elected officeholders and party principals. (Some anticipated pay raises never materialized this year, so the caroller's cup was sweetened with a generous portion of your LakeCountyEye's finest 4th of July parade candy.) Had not the LakeCountyEye cell-phone camera already been on assignment, streaming the live video feed at the neighborhood Cash America, a YouTube of the festivities would have been forthcoming.

Making a virtue of necessity, this will be strictly an oldskool flashback. The highlights of a lively LakeCountyEye holiday eve:

Eighth Congressional District candidate, Maria Rodriguez, sang Paul Simon's The 53rd Street Bypass Song ...
Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last

Dan Seals, hoping a third time's the charm in the Tenth Congressional District, performed Len Barry's 60s-era bubblegum number, 1-2-3 ...
It's easy (it's so easy)
Like taking candy from a baby

Linda Pedersen, JoAnn Osmond's legislative aide, chose the Van Heusen/Cahn torch standard, Call Me, Irresponsible ...
Call me irresponsible - call me unreliable
Throw in undependable too

Mark Kirk, aspiring for a promotion to the national stage -- from Congress to Senate -- trumpeted his national security street-cred with the Village People's In the Navy ...
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland

Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran is rumored to be the next Lake County State's Attorney. Curran, a former Democrat and current Republican, rendered, well, the Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go ...
If I go there will be trouble
Si me voi - va ver peligro
And if I stay it will be double
Si me quedo es doble

Terry Link, who helped remove the second hand smoke from the restaurants and the second guessing from traffic light enforcement, is now candidate for Springfield second banana. Link reached all the way back to the Ziegfeld Follies of 1921 for Second Hand Rose (From Second Avenue) ...
Even my pajamas when I don them
Have somebody else's initials on them

Finally, everyone including your LakeCountyEye joined together for a merrie olde holiday heirloom ...

On the last day of Christmas, my true love sent to me ...


Twelve Duffies harrumphing


Eleven video-poker payouts


Ten boards a-sleeping


Nine Ant's simoleons


Eight mayors a-bilking


Seven Bobs a-bungeeing


Six Genesees in-layaway


Five golden things


Four Couvalling bards


3/10 Dems


Two tort reforms


And a goldfish in a ballot box!

Merry Festivus to all & to all a good night!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Seeing Red

How many put off their holiday shopping to the last minute? Your LakeCountyEye is no exception. However that last minute has ticked down to the last few seconds. The roads are no more crowded than usual, but this year there are red light cameras at every intersection all the way to the Dollar General. It should be no surprise to learn that your LakeCountyEye is texting this post while sitting at a red light.

Rudolph's red nose saved Christmas one year -- but that was before Santa had to match wits with the ubiquitous red light camera. The Daily Herald did a series earlier this year examining the sleazy confluence of corporate profit, traffic regulation and municipal revenue ...
Red-light camera company more than just a vendor
The winners are the municipalities that collect the fines. Plus contractors like RedSpeed Illinois who get their a percentage. Other winners would be the auto & health insurance providers -- fewer accident claims. Losers are, well everyone knows who loses here. Some groups have organized to fight back, like ...
BanRedCams.com
Your LakeCountyEye, a proponent of peace on earth & good-will to men, believes it is better to get even than get mad. Here are 10 holiday suggestions on how to beat those furshlugginer red light cameras:

  1. Take the EL.

  2. Drive through in reverse.
    YouTube

  3. Give the wheel to Willard Helander.
    Speeding ticket not the first for Helander

  4. Heelys!

    1. Buy shares of RedSpeed.
    2. Blow a few red lights.
    3. Pay the fines.
    4. Sell the stock.
    5. Retire early.

  5. Two words: Warp Drive

  6. Red light cams are unconstitutional: Send your citations to Dan Duffy.
    Lawmakers reject speed cams in school, hospital zones

  7. No one wants a police state: Send your citations to Mark Curran.
    Lake County Sheriff Mark Curran Adds Support to Effort to BanRedCams

  8. All else fails: Send your citations to Terry Link.
    Proposed law would impose $100 fines on speed-camera evidence

  9. Just stop at the light, A.J.

Green light, gotta run, big sale on Dippy Birds!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Q the Eye/12.20.09

Dearest Soul LakeCountyEye,

I am the Governor at a considerable large County Board (USA). I have a business proposal in the tune of $1.575 (One Thousand and Five Hundred and Seventy and Five United States Dollar only). These large monies are my personally authorized Pay Raise that shall relinquish to the Treasury. After the successful transfer; may I count on you Re-Election Vote for Perpetuity? May I continue Apportion and Award large County Businesses? May I count on you for Yardsign? Should you be interested, So we can commence all arrangements? And I will Give you more information on how we would handle This project. Please treat this business with utmost Confidentiality and send me the Following information's bellow to enable us commence immediately: (1) Full names: (2) Private phone number: (3) Current residential address: (4) Occupational: (5) Age and Sex: Best Regards.

Su Zisc Hmidt, Chairman-of-the-Board

Dear Leggo My Lagos,

If your LakeCountyEye took up every offer given for a free lunch, your LakeCountyEye would be known as the LakeCountySilo. But your LakeCountyEye is appreciative of a good scam. Speaking as one grifter to another -- bunko-a-bunko -- there are lots of other pigeons out there waiting to be served up with a salary stuffing. This is reflected in the local media which seems to be in full-throated favor of your proposal to swap some dollars (USA) for some easy votes (REP).
Three Musketeers
NewsSun

19 Lake Co. board members refuse raises
Daily Herald
Keep phishing, and a LakeCountyEye good-luck on your endeavors. If you can't make it in Lake County, you're in the wrong line of work.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Flip Flop in the 8th Republican Primary

The Eye's gaze fell upon the an article in today's Herald where 8th District hopeful Republican Long Grove Mayor Maria Rodriquez suddenly discovered the "53" Kool-aid and supports it. Although a few months ago she was "adamantly opposed" to extending Route 53.

Long Grove and Kildeer have been the main obstacles to Route 53, along with former State Senator Bill Peterson who lived steps from the proposed alignment and steps from Maria's mansion as well.

Now after seeing the results of the countywide referendum on the 53 bypass where 95% of all precincts in the county voted yes (except for the ones in Long Grove and oddly one in Shields township along the lakefront), Maria realizes that she needs to change her tune. I am sure her polling told her the same thing as well.

It also amuses us that the change of position (i.e. Flip Flop) comes a few days before Christmas on a Friday, the classic news dump hoping you, the newspapers and opponents did not notice.

The Eye realizes that politics trumps principle these days and we applaud Maria for finally seeing the route 53 light. However one can only guess how the "I was against it before I was for it" attitude will play out with the voters.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Going-Through-the-Motion's Eleven

Your LakeCountyEye's popular Top 10 Lists have taken the Interwebs by storm. Soon to be ex-10th District Congressman Mark Kirk must have caught the virus, because his Senate Campaign has issued one of their own:


Top 11 Worst Spending Projects
of the 111th Congress


LakeCountyEye operatives far & wide, a friendly word of advice: when compiling an Internet Top 10 List, stop at 10. A Top 11 List will have some people thinking outloud just how gay is that supposed to be? Just sayin!

Here is Congressman Kirk's list, itemized and with cross tabs:

1. $1.9 million for a water taxi to Pleasure Beach, Conn.
2. $3.8 million for an urban art trail in Rochester, N.Y.
3. $3.1 million for upgrades to an 88-year-old canal boat museum in New York
4. $3 million for bicycle racks in Washington, D.C.'s Georgetown area
5. $1.5 million for a streetscape project around a Detroit casino
6. $578,000 to fight homelessness in Union, N.Y., a town that reportedly has no homeless people
7. $550,000 for a skateboard park in Pawtucket, R.I.
8. $500,000 for fish food for Missouri fish farmers
9. $400,000 to renovate a vacant building in Jal, N.M.
10. $380,350 to encourage West Virginia landowners to grow ginseng and shiitake mushrooms
11. $90,000 for a shared kitchen for food service entrepreneurs

Another LakeCountyEye rule-of-thumb: when embarking upon an Internet Top 10 List, do your due diligence. If the best thing you got going on your list are some DC Bike Racks, you're going to leave the impression that you've given up trying. If you decide to honor the Internet Top 10 List with your efforts, please do not phone it in.

Fret not, 10th Congressional District foes of government largess. One doesn't need to be a NASA cost-overrun specialist to assemble a decent Top 10 List of Gummint Pork Projects. When the gauntlet is thrown, your LakeCountyEye, like a dog with an old rag, doesn't know how let go. A deep-web search through www.thomas.gov is all it takes, and -- waa laa -- here are your LakeCountyEye's Top 10 Worst Government Spending Projects:

1) Universal Wealth Insurance for Wall Street Banks

2) Agriculture Subsidies for Chia Pet Farms

3) Guantanamo-Disney

4) Emergency Federal Seed Money for ACORN

5) 30,000 New Troops for the War on Christmas

6) South Miami Beach Holocaust Denier Museum

7) High Speed Illegal Immigrant Bullet Train

8) Condoms for Al-Qaeda

9) Offshore Nuclear Power

10) The Iraq War

LakeCountyEye operatives far & wide, feel free to use these in your next video!

Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm Chevy Chase

Who remembers H1N1? Anyone who does gets to go to the front of the vaccination line. Your LakeCountyEye remembers quite well the old swine flu, being unable to forget this headline from October ...
Bean cancels talk on flu after daughter gets it
The complete dope is pretty much encapsulated in the Trib's lede ...
Exposed to the swine flu virus after her teenage daughter was stricken, Rep. Melissa Bean (D-Ill.) canceled a visit Monday to a Hoffman Estates junior high school where she planned to discuss how to avoid the bug.
If there was any doubt that Melissa Bean had gone viral, doubt it no longer.

Here is the 2006 Bean campaign ad that sealed the deal between her and her voters:

I'm Melissa Bean
An effective ad can be expected to spread like, well, a virus, and this one spread all the way to Arizona. There the Congressional candidate is Scottsdale Republican, Eric Wnuck:

I'm Eric Wnuck
The Arizona Republic covered the video, making the story a case of plagiarism vs campaign free speech.
GOP House hopeful accused of copying ad
Plagiarism? Free speech? Either way, Bean should be flattered.

Your LakeCountyEye is nothing if not a student of the latest trends. Expect to see, throughout the upcoming campaign season, any or all of the following ads on the teevee:
  • I'm Dirk Beveridge
  • I'm John Dawson
  • I'm Jonathan Farnick
  • I'm Chris Geissler
  • I'm Greg Jacobs
  • I'm Maria Rodriguez
  • I'm Bill Scheurer
  • I'm Joe Walsh
Take it from Eric Wnuck. They've already started plagiarizing him:

I'm Eric Wnuck Parody
Everything else being equal, your LakeCountyEye is Spartacus.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Segue to Sugrue

It's unanimous. Dan Sugrue, Republican candidate for District 59 State Representative, has been endorsed by both the Vernon Township Republicans. And the Vernon Township Democrats.

At an endorsement session, according to the NewsSun, Vernon Township Republican committeemen voted to back Sugrue over two primary opponents, Cynthia Hebda and Mohan Manian.
Vernon Township Republican endorsements
While Sugrue does not have the Vernon Township Democrat's formal endorsement, he does enjoy their informal blessing. Vernon Dem chair, Steven Rosenzweig, has challenged the ballot eligibility of Cynthia Hebda.

ROSENZWEIG V HEBDA
Hebda was recruited by her party leadership to challenge Sugrue in the primary. Her gender and tenure as a Vernon Hills trustee lead many to think she would be the stronger candidate. Hebda also enjoys the backing of local party heavyweights like Ed Sullivan Jr. Sugrue, on the other hand, ran against Kathy Ryg in 2008 and shambled home with 37.5% of the vote.

If Rosenzweig's petition challenge against Hebda is successful then Sugrue is expected to win the primary. It is widely believed that Sugrue is not 100% unelectable and would easily dispatch Mohan Manian, were they to go at it mano-a-mano.

Dan Sugrue owes a debt of gratitude to the political operatives on both sides of the aisle in Vernon Township. Your LakeCountyEye recommends that Sugrue return the favor and lobby to get Rep District 59 redistricted to be completely within the boundaries of Vernon Township. Some time before Nov 2010.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Chew-the-Fat Tuesday!

It used to be that Springfield legislators were in session only 6 months of the year. Now it seems like the Thanksgiving/New Year's break is the only free time remaining for our legislators. Naturally your LakeCoutyEye wonders how they make use of this interval. An informative e-mail sent by one LakeCountyEye operative:



The operative, high within the ranks of the grammar-police, notes there are far too many apostrophes in ...
Senator Dan Duffy Announces Talk 2 Me Tuesday's!
Your LakeCountyEye suspects there are too many exclamation points as well.

Other noticeable faux pas's include:
After the legislature reconvenes in February, Senator Duffy will continue his policy of meeting anyone who would like to see him.
If the Illinois General Assembly website is to be believed, the Senate will be convening on January 12, 2010 ...

Illinois General Assembly
Possibly Sen Duffy anticipates being delayed by the expanse of red-light cameras between Lake County and Springfield?

Finally, Duffy's gnomic message ...
If you are unable to read this, click here
was obviously not intended for any of the sharp-eyed LakeCountyEye operatives. Being no less than your LakeCountyEye, your LakeCountyEye is able to read it quite clearly. But one defining trait of your LakeCountyEye is an implacable curiosity. Any not-so-sharp-eyed op who is unable to read Duffy's message, is asked to please click and send your intel back to ...
LakeCountyEye@gmail.com
A terrific prize awaits the first to respond: some face time with a local Senator.
Identity of Senator to be announced at a later date.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sente from Pillar to Post

Fresh minted State Representative Carol Sente has been quite active lately. The News Hound at the NewsSun took notice ...
She's everywhere, she's everywhere
characterizing Sente as a white tornado. (Someone must've tipped off the News Hound that Sente is pretty good with a kitchen mop.)

A quick review of the LakeCountyEye archives show that within the past couple of months Sente has hosted/sponsored no less than ...
  • 2 legislative office open houses
  • 2 townhalls
  • a health care roundtable
  • 2 coffees (according to sources, caffeinated)
  • a retirement center Q & A
  • a clothing drive
  • 6 advisory committees
  • a good neighbor award
All of this suggests one thing to your LakeCountyEye: her handlers are working Sente like a rented mule. Alarmed, your LakeCountyEye contacted Sente's office. Apparently they have never seen this blog, because her scheduler was happy to disclose Sente's appointment calendar. For Sente watchers from all four corners of the globe, here is the peripatetic new Rep's upcoming itinerary:

1) In Oslo, per Obama's request. To to pick up a Peace Prize.

2) Convening a citizen advisory committee on what additional citizen advisory committees need to be convened.

3) Hosting a seminar on how to beat the red light cameras. 9am Sharp.

4) Throwing an election fundraiser at JoAnn Osmond's legislative office.

5) Composting unsightly Elliott Hartstein yardsigns.

6) Periodically to be holding her breath to reduce CO2 levels.

7) Mr Madigan's towncar. Springfield JiffyLube. 'Nuff said.

8) Sente will be making a list. Checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.

9) Pledging to return all legislative pay raises between now and the year 2050.

10) Signing some paperwork for Terry Link.
And then tomorrow morning, Sente plans to be ... well your LakeCountyEye needs a nap. Watch for a future post.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Q the Eye/12.04.09

Dear LakeCountyEye,

How does someone get on the ballot in the Eighth Congressional District, where we need a real Democrat? I personally went out and collected my minimum 890 petition signatures. Or was it 876? OK, let's say eight and change. But now a rubberstamp panel of election judges ruled I can't be on the ballot because of some legal technicality. Isn't that unconstitutional? Don't the voters deserve a choice?

Far-Flung Off the Ballot
Dear Fahrvergn├╝gen,

Your LakeCountyEye shares in your outrage towards that ruling. Everyone should be entitled to their 15 minutes of fame whether they deserve any or not.

About your lament that the Eighth District voters deserve a choice: the latest numbers indicate there are 7 or 8 or 9 -- let's say an even dozen -- Republicans hoping to challenge Melissa Bean from the right. (No mean feat.) Also Bill & Randi Scheurer have been running from the left as a tag-team against Bean. It's Bill's turn at the plate, who is running as a Green this time. Now, in a typical Congressional race expect to see (1) an incumbent running against (2) no one else. Your LakeCountyEye thinks the voters in the Eighth already have more choices than they can deal with.

Of course, petition challenges seem to be the norm for the Eighth District. In 2007 there were two Democrats running against Bean -- Randi Scheurer and some other forgotten chumbolone candidate. The chumbolone filed only about 95% of the minimum required petition signatures -- sort of like he was asking to be tossed off the ballot. Still, one didn't need to be a Karl Rove to have advised Scheurer to just ignore the petition shortfall. Scheurer had no reasonable chance of beating Bean. In fact, no one expected Bean to even campaign or show up at the sponsored debates. But with at least some breathing chumbolone to debate against, Scheurer would have gotten her opportunity to take the podium, air her issues, talk to the press, etc.

Long story short, however, Scheurer not only had the opponent thrown off the ballot, she filed the challenge personally.
SCHEURER V FARNICK
Illinois State Board of Elections
(Ordinarily campaigns get some willing accomplice to do this sort of dirty work.)
Zion man files objection to Bean challenger
NewsSun
With no one to debate with, Scheurer predictably was not invited to be a debate participant. And on top of that she had a potential Democratic ally pee-ohed at her. Your LakeCountyEye is still scratching the LakeCountyEye noggin over that play.

Anyways, fast forward to 2009 and the chumbolone is back with 100% of the required signatures. (Give or take a handful.) Randi Scheurer is sitting this election out. And it's up to Bean this time to dispatch a willing accomplice to get her competitor thrown off the ballot.

And quicker than you can say deja vu, it's like he was asking to be tossed off the ballot all over again: "The only thing I can think of (is) I lost a sheet."
Bean challenger removed from ballot
Pioneer Press
... while playing to the press like he was sucker punched. All over again: "I always felt whoever wanted to run should be able to run."

So how does someone get on the ballot in the Eighth District? Just run as a Green next time, Grasshopper. As a Green, you'll only need to get five signatures to qualify, ten max. (Do fifteen to be safe.) And who knows, next time it may be you filing the papers in 2011 to get Randi Scheurer knocked off the ballot.

If you are an elected official, or a previously elected official, or just a private citizen under indictment, send your political questions to Q the Eye c/o ... LakeCountyEye@gMail.com

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Double Identity?

The hot potato that was the ethics complaint filed against Lake County Commissioner Linda Pedersen seems to have cooled off like a bowl of instant potatoes in the back of the fridge. As reported here recently ...
Judgement Calls?
Call In To Question
Pedersen was accused by the Democrats of using her position as legislative aide for State Representative JoAnn Osmond to engage in political fundraising. So it shouldn't be a total surprise that while searching for a late night snack, your LakeCountyEye would stumble on some more hot grist for the rumor mill.

When grist goes thru the LakeCountyEye's mill it is ground to nothing, and in this case ground zero happens to be -- 976 Hillside, Antioch -- Rep Osmond's legislative office.

That's because it looks to your LakeCountyEye that more than just legislation was being conducted under the roof there.

It's no secret any more that there are webcams watching all of us, and beaming pictures back to The Google. The webcam they got pointed at the 976 Hillside that is Osmond's legislative address shows a modest office that to the untrained eye could well have been a non-descript insurance agency.


Google Map

Now, politics is like gumshoeing -- it's a safe bet things are seldom as they seem. The Illinois State Board of Elections has it's own search engine at ...
http://www.elections.state.il.us/
which had originally been developed for a UNIVAC platform. Not to brag but your LakeCountyEye knows no fear when it comes to antiquated hardware. Looking up 976 Hillside on the ISBE website reveals some interesting details about the day to day operation there.

That non-descript office at 976 Hillside in Antioch has been a roof over a heterogeneous assortment of candidates, committees, charities, business interests, including ...
  • Antioch Township Republican Club
  • Churchill, Robert W.
  • Churchill, Citz For
  • Citizens for JoAnn Osmond
  • Citizens for JoAnn D. Osmond
  • Citizens for Osmond
  • Citizens to Elect JoAnn Osmond
  • Committee To Re-Elect Barbara E. Richardson
  • Elect Judge Ray McKoski
  • Osmond, Citz For
  • Rep, Beat the
  • Campaign for Rep JoAnn Osmond
  • Churchill, Bob
  • Churchill for Congress
  • CITIZENS FOR ROBERT CHURCHILL
  • Friends of JoAnn Osmond
  • Lake County Republican Central Committee
  • Osmond, Citizens for JoAnn
  • Citz To Retain Drew, Geiger & Scott
  • Comm To Elect Robert C Wilton
  • Comm to Re-elect Barbara Richardson Coroner of Lake County
  • ... and many others.
Your LakeCountyEye can now go on record as being in total awe. This address has seen more action than a Las Vegas subprime condo!

Long story short, the clueless Lake County Democrats have taken a dim view of these hijinx and one of their cohorts on the ground filed another ethics complaint -- this time against JoAnn Osmond. Your LakeCountyEye had been wondering when this other gumshoe was gonna fall.

Like a hot potato.